Gone With Yesterday: Hello Technology

Out with the old, and in with the new. The good 'ol days of calling a sporting event are dead. About "as dead a F*#@*n fried chicken", like Jules says in Pulp Fiction.

The following is a compiled list--my list--of some of the drastic changes, between the human-being, and the advancement of technology in the world of sports.

Gone: Are the good 'ol days of judging gymnastic games with the naked eye, a no. 2 pencil, a pad of paper, and the sense of good-and-bad events.

Hello: To replacing the pens and paper with laptop computers, telephone calls, and slow-motion replays to nit-pick every possible 'mistake.'

Gone: Are the days of a good-ol gymnastic event. Where a '10' was a '10', or a '9.5'.

Hello: To the days of 'degree of difficulty'. Where a flawless event could still land you 5th place, because the 'degree of difficulty' was a 6.65 and not a 6.70.

Gone: Are the days when a baseball umpire would wipe homeplate-clean with a paint brush, stuck in his back pocket for all 9-innings.

Hello: To the lazy umps, who merely kick the dirt aside with their shoes.

Gone: Are the days of all baseball umpires gathering together, discussing a home-run/foul-ball call.

Hello: To instant-replay. Taking away from the game, prolonging the game, and replacing professional umpires judging with HD cameras.

Gone: Are the days of a post-game cigarette and beer, a la Mark Grace.

Hello: To creatine, protein shakes and Vitamin Water.

Gone: Are the days of the on-the-field rulings of incomplete passes, fumbles, and questionable touchdowns.

Hello: To the oh-so-long instant replays, red flags, coaches challenges, and now famous, 'tuck-rule.'

Gone: Are the days of a swimming event, being clocked by the human-eye and a stop-watch.

Hello: To the days of under-water cameras.

Gone: Are the days barely curved wooden sticks, and smaller and heavier equipment.

Hello: To the composite sticks, 100+MPH slap-shots, and larger and lighter pads.

Gone: Are the days of enforcers, being the police on the ice, protecting their teammates.

Hello: More penalty minutes, longer suspensions and financial repercussions.

These are just a few things I had to vent about. The days of games being controlled by men are dead-and-gone. The technology has taken the fun out of the sport, and it's not going to get any better. Cameras will soon be everywhere, tracking every-single step--so I'll just grin and bear it.