NFL Rankings: Which Teams Are Bruisers and Losers After Two Weeks

With the NFL season underway, it would not hurt to look at the “Bruisers and Losers” so far, or short I should say.

*BRUISERS*

     1.) Texans : What a difference a year makes for this young team. The defense is playing like one of the best in the NFL and the emergence of Arian Foster will only add to the amazing passing game.

     2.) Steelers : If I told you the “underage loving” Roethlisberger less Steelers were going to be 2-0 would you believe me? Hell no you wouldn’t, so don’t act like it!

     3.) Bears : Yeah that’s right I am putting them up here. With a defense and offense starting to hit a stride, look for the Bears to wreak havoc when they take the Packers on at Soldier Field.

     4.) Jets : What we saw from the Jets against the Patriots last week was awesome, I just do not know if they can keep it up all season. I guess it also doesn’t help for Braylon “Epic Beard Man” Edwards to get a DUI while celebrating only the first win of the season.

     5.) Colts : Peyton righted the ship last week against his little brother Eli. Look for the Colts to only go up from here and if you have a fantasy team I suggest you really give thought to Dallas Clark. (Just a Hunch)

*LOSERS*

     1.) Cowboys : I hate to do it after Uncle Rico gave a Cowboy war cry, see (How Bout Them Cowboys) however, I have to. Expectations are so high in Dallas anything short of the NFC championship game would be a complete fail to all Cowboys fans, better revamp real quick!

     2.) Vikings : This just in: Brett Favre is laying an egg! I almost don’t even want to go into this, but maybe it would have been a good idea to show up to camp this summer. With wide receivers looking amazingly thin, I think it might be best to hand the ball off to Adrian THE WHOLE GAME! oh, and pray he doesn’t fumble.

     3.) Giants : Most people are reading this trying to figure out why the “Football” Giants? This is very simple, they have looked completely out of sync. Will they make it right before the playoffs? Probably so, but for now take your place as a loser.

     4.) Cardinals : Next weeks headline will read “Cardinals Offensive Line Charged With Accessory To Murder”. Yeah that’s right, without an O-Line Derek Anderson will continue to get leveled. I really hope Anderson has a good insurance policy.

     5.) Bills : Everybody knew they were not going to be that great, but I am going out on a limb to say, “they might not win a game”. With no QB or defense I see nothing but a confused team. Chan Gailey you did know what you were getting into right?

If you are going down through the list and are wondering about the Rams, Raiders, or Browns, I actually see upside for these teams. I have only put teams on here that are surprise losers and bruisers for the most part. It's ok if we don’t see eye to eye though cause you can ……

G.T.F.O

*RUNNERS UP*

     Bruisers : Patriots, Redskins, Eagles, Packers, Saints, Ravens.

     Losers : Rams, Raiders, Browns, Jaguars, Panthers, Seahawks.