10 Things The Oregon Ducks Must Do To Beat The Portland State Vikings.

With FCS teams having a pretty good record of upsetting some big schools this year, it's important that the #5 Oregon Ducks do not look past the Portland State Vikings today when the teams square off at Autzen Stadium at 3:15 PST.

This slideshow will present the ten things that I believe the Ducks must do in order to beat their neighbors from the North.

Set Alarm Clock and Wake When It Goes Off.

Wake up, sleepyhead.

Even though the game is in the afternoon and Autzen Stadium is really close to campus, Eugene has pretty "laid-back" lifestyle and this one shouldn't be overlooked.

Actually Make It To Autzen Stadium.

The Mecca of Northwest Football.

Just follow all the people in green and yellow acting like escaped mental patients.

Do Not Step On Banana Peel.

Zoinks!

90% of all accidents take place within 3 miles of the home.

If You Need A MacBook Pro, Buy One. No Stopping At Frat Houses.

I actually have the 17" model.

Just imagine how awesome Macs will be when you go pro.  Seriously, like holograms and stuff.

Stop At All Stops Signs, Traffic Lights, Etc.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.

You can bring the mask if you absolutely have to, but leave the rest at home.  Weirdo.

Put On A Uniform.

Does this shirt make my shoulders look broad?

Even in ultra-hippy Eugene they're not gonna let you play naked.

Any color combination will do.  I personally like being surprised by the myriad of combinations the Ducks come up with.  Last year's Civil War getup was my favorite, if you're asking.

Do Everything This Man Says.

"Hey Joel! Nice article on New Hampshire, you really nailed it!

He's a genius and comes from good stock.

Hike Ball.

Darron Thomas and I are really close.

It's fun-damental!

Give This Guy A Workout.

Puddles is mad diesel after only two games this season.

Every time Oregon scores, Puddles the mascot does as many pushups as the ducks new point total.  At the end of the Ducks 72-0 win over New Mexico he had done 506.

Win The Day.

iPhone wallpaper by DUXTOOTH

Think about:

Virginia Tech and James Madison

Ole Miss and Jacksonville State (I was serious about the Mac and not getting pulled over)

South Dakota over Minnesota

North Dakota State over Kansas

et, al

There is a reason why you actually play the games and there are no givens.

Except for one.

It never rains at Autzen Stadium.