NFL's Reggie Bush Advises The Fed on USA Housing Crisis

As the result of an unprecedented miscommunication between two of the most powerful men in the world, the United States Federal Reserve and the US Commission on Banking look to embark on radical change.

It seems President Bush had decided to seek the advice of successful and influential Americans on the subject of the housing and sub-prime mortgage debacle.

Somehow, after introducing himself to the NFL Commissioner's office switchboard, he was inadvertently patched into Reggie Bush's cell phone and not Roger Goodell's office. Reggie took the handoff and ran with it!

George Bush listened the RB's advice intently, and has already advised Congress he is looking for a sponsor for a bill that would create a "borrowers union," whereby potential borrowers would be represented for credit rights and and have to submit binding arbitration available to settle disputes with lenders.

An "Interest Sharing" program will be also created , allowing people with poor market conditions to get a better deal at the expense of individuals with a better-credit risk. These generous people will be given "signing bonuses" as an offset for the generation of their loans.

The President loved Reggie's ideas, and himself contributed the notion of referring to delinquents as merely "holding out."

Yet, Something simply isn't right. Banks would have to fly these borrowers to the home offices of the underwriters, and they would have to be entertained with fine dining and public appearances at community events.

Banks would have to cave or behave. Foreclosures would become a thing of the past because borrowers now be able to simply buy out these contract at 20 to 30 cents on the dollar, with competing banks forced to pick up the loans at even better rates.

He added that banks would not be able to sell the loans on a secondary market either, as this would constitute "tampering." If they don't like the deal they made with the borrower, they will just have to "waive the deal" and "take their bumps."

Reggie also advocated sending brokers to "fiduciary rehab" as a condition for being caught closing a loan with people who can't afford it.

As the young bucks and does of Wall Street trashed their powerpoint lasers and started modeling the likely scenarios with x's and o's on chalk boards, a veteran banker abruptly leaned forward, sending his vest buttons into a pitcher of water. 

"Hey" he said, "are you sure the Knicks aren't behind this?"