Curb Your Enthusiasm for the 2010 Detroit Lions? HäMMëR Says, “No Way!”
Over the past week or so there has been a considerable amount of chatter regarding the prospective optimism Detroit Lions fans are showing toward the 2010 team that is about to take the field in Chicago for their road opener in ten days. While the fan meter is steadily increasing, I found a somewhat disturbing blog article offered by Jamie Samuelsen in his capacity as special writer for the Detroit Free Press:
Frankly, I love the way the Free Press frames his position and adds their disclaimer:
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Jamie Samuelsen, the sports director for the morning show on WCSX-FM (94.7), blogs for freep.com. His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the Detroit Free Press nor its writers.
Smart thinkin’, gang.
Before I drop the 300-pound HäMMëR on the California native, I want to make sure you understand my paradigm, which Sir Winston Churchill so eloquently stated:
“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”
Regardless Samuelsen’s statement that the only thing that mattered coming out of the Cleveland game was “health,” it’s where he went immediately after that which drew both my attention and my ire.
“… We all desperately need to temper the optimism that’s running rampant since the win in Denver. You know it’s true. I know it’s true.”
Is that a fact?
So right about then I’m thinking Samuelsen is Billy Bob Thornton playing the dealer at the hotel in Tombstone, and I’m Kurt Douglas about to slap him down and drag him out of the joint by his ear.
What is the fear, Jamie? That if Detroit Lions fans hopes are dashed upon the rocks that the sum total will overdraw your emotional bank account?
Please. Give me a break.
What is it about the feeling of optimism that should be tempered by Lions fans, Mr. Samuelsen? Are you just not keen on the idea that Detroit Lions fans have the ability to think for themselves, have knowingly and willingly chosen and accepted this team as their own, and understand the pitfalls that go with said loyalty, devotion, and association?
Jamie, do you think for one moment that the pride faithful are ignorant to the fact that preseason perfection can translate into a winless regular season? It hasn’t been that long, each of us is cognizant, and each fan clearly understands the stakes involved in being optimistic about his team.
Samuelsen goes on to write, “Jim Schwartz knows that it’s true. He has said many times, going back to last season, that a coach’s preseason record doesn’t exactly go down on his tombstone. So any successes or failures against the Broncos, Steelers or Browns are largely irrelevant.”
Very well then, Jamie, what do you suggest is relevant?
What I know is that every play I have seen since August 4, 2010 has meant something to me, whether I was close enough to reach out and touch the players while standing on the sidelines of Detroit Lions training camp practice in Allen Park, or whether catching a preseason game on television and replaying single plays over and over and over and over again.
It is that which I have seen with mine own eyes that gives me basis for more than hope; rather, true, unadulterated optimism, something which has been in short supply the past couple of years.
Now, this next part just kills me, so the next guy who claims to be a “homer” around here and isn’t from Michigan and wasn’t born in the greater Detroit metroplex, i.e. a “Detroiter”, be advised of what you tout:
“Calvin Johnson is the most talented receiver in football. Sorry to be a homer, but I’ve never seen such a combination of speed, size, skill, strength and savvy. Matthew Stafford appears worlds more mature in just his second year.”
Baking powder? Exsqueeze me? (Thanks, Wayne) Dude – please.
On my DD Form 214 it reads Warren, Michigan for place of birth and Maple Rapids as my home of record. That’s a homer, Samuelsen, just in case you wondered what that word actually means. Don’t mislead the reader, Jamie; I don’t like it.
This next bit demonstrates how aloof Samuelsen is relative to the underpinnings of mathematics and why he should avoid such references in the future:
“As impressive as his throws have been, I was more impressed when he tucked the ball under and ran out of bounds on third-and-10 against the Broncos leading to a field goal. Last year, Stafford might have tried to force the ball into the end zone and risked the three points. Stafford 2.0 knew that the field goal was more important and made the safe, less-exciting play. If he can cut down on his mistakes from last season by 30 or 40%, the Lions could be 40 or 50% more successful in terms of wins.”
For a moment, Samuelsen recognizes the development of the maturation process of the Lions’ young signal caller, but let’s do the math together so we can all have a good laugh at Jamie’s expense.
Last season the Detroit Lions posted a 2-14 record. Samuelsen says, “If he (Stafford) can cut down on his mistakes from last season by 30 or 40%, the Lions could be 40 or 50% more successful in terms of wins.”
Do you know what that really means, Lions fans?
Jamie Samuelsen is saying the Detroit Lions will win between 2.8 and 3 games during the 2010 campaign, essentially predicting a 3-13 record for the Leos.
How do you feel about that, folks?
It sounds to me like the blogger known as Jamie Samuelsen is far from emotionally vested with the Detroit Lions as a franchise, and thus, his prognostication of a one-game win improvement in 2010, coupled with his disingenuous statement claiming to be a Detroit “homer”, can only leave me with the impression that Mr. Samuelsen deserves the attention of the HäMMëR.
Don’t even think about telling me jack, Samuelsen, especially “temper your optimism.” You haven’t earned the right, nor shall you ever at this juncture of your life.
This next part is even funnier to me, a fantasy indeed -
“And the most tantalizing piece of all is running back Jahvid Best. He’s trending up in fantasy football leagues all over America.”
Priceless.
Since when did we start taking our cues for prospective optimism based on an up-tick in fantasy football leagues? Whisky Tango Foxtrot, over?
Are you kidding me? For real?
Quite frankly, I find it unconscionable that an author of repute would frame anything truly related to the game in fantasy football terms. Is that what you think the Detroit Lions front office is trying to assemble, Mr. Samuelsen, a top-flight fantasy football team?
Honestly.
Now, Jamie has to further disclose and deflect optimistic overtones:
“And there in lies the trap. I agree that Best has the potential to be the best running back the Lions have had since Sanders. But I thought that after watching a couple of Kevin Jones’ preseason games back in 2004. And a lot of people pegged Kevin Smith as the sleeper of the 2008 draft. A lot of people thought Mike Williams would turn the Lions offense into one of the most explosive in football in 2005. A lot of myths are swirling around in the exhibition season – but they only become realities in the regular season.”
Barry Sanders, Kevin Jones, and Mike Williams are no longer players for the Detroit Lions; none of them will suit up in Honolulu Blue and Silver this fall. Kevin Smith is what he is; the administration that drafted him knew it, and the men running the show now know the same thing.
Inasmuch as none of the aforementioned will be taking the field on Sunday, September 12th, I see no relevance to their mention in the first place. What good does it do to bemoan players from an era which has passed us by? None. Neither does it suggest anything positive to the Lions faithful, which is unsettling coming from someone who is supposed to be a “homer.”
Again, Samuelsen feels the need to continue a prolonged caution to Detroit Lions fans:
“This is a point that you all know – so it’s almost silly to put in print. But it’s more of a note of caution as fans head down to Ford Field this Saturday. Just be careful not to get wrapped up in what you see. Stafford looks great. So did Joey Harrington in the preseason. Ndamukong Suh looks ferocious. So did Luther Elliss. The Lions' pass rush looks like a weapon. It looked like a weapon with Kalimba Edwards and Shaun Rogers. (And it was when Rogers was interested in playing football).”
I would like to develop a greater understanding of why it is Jamie Samuelsen feels the need to caution me and my Detroit Lions brethren regarding what people see at Ford Field. The last word of caution I heeded was on the battlefield, when a master sergeant in explosive ordinance disposal told me to walk exactly in the same boot prints as his and not to step on the potentially booby-trapped Markov 9mm pistol he finished knifing from the sand.
My guess is that not a single Detroit Lions fan will need to heed any of Mr. Samuelsen’s “cautions.” I know I won’t. I’m vested.
Lastly, here is some serious fodder for the finale:
“The Lions are trending up. But to keep that trend going, they’re going to need all of their pieces in place for the games that matter. So spare me the good signs from the preseason. They’re fool’s gold. Give us a clean bill of health. That’s all we need.”
How does Samuelsen say, “the Lions are trending up,” while at the same time saying, “spare me the good signs from the preseason?” Jamie further quantifies the notion of good signs from the preseason as being “fools gold.”
What that means is that if you take away something positive or optimistic from the prelude to the kickoff on September 12, 2010, you are a fool. That means Samuelsen is calling me a fool. That means Samuelsen is calling a fool anyone who disregards his caution.
Are you that fool to which Samuelsen alludes?
Each of us understands the importance of having a healthy squad, and so does every other stakeholder for the other 31 NFL franchises. Health is a premium – we know that. Depth is a concern, which is nothing new for Lions fans either.
The bottom line, folks, is that you need to filter what you read and filter what you hear about the 2010 Detroit Lions when it comes to others projecting in either a positive or negative fashion in regard to YOUR Detroit Lions. This is the team you grew up with, the team you’ve cheered for all of your life, the team you support even after a winless season barely two years removed.
If a fellow wishes to guard his optimism, to each his own; don’t you dare tell the Pride faithful to temper their optimism about anything Detroit Lions football related.
Or, by all means, go right ahead. However, one should be prepared to be met with extreme prejudice should they choose to suggest that Lions fans lack the emotional wherewithal to withstand the potential disappointment that any NFL season would bring to the people of Detroit.
We have waited since 1957 for another NFL championship, which, for many of us, represents more than a lifetime.
Curb my optimism? Curb my enthusiasm? Curb my passion?
Take it to the curb, Jamie. All I hear from you is the squawking voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher.
“Go ahead – skin that smoke wagon and see what happens next.”
GO LIONS WIN!
HäMMëR
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