Brett Favre's Top Five Most Fitting Career Moves

So it appears that Vikings QB Brett Favre has finally decided to hang up the helmet and pads after an illustrious 19-year career featuring one Super Bowl championship, four different jerseys, three offseasons of heavily documented "personal time," and countless giddy leaps into the arms of his linemen.

With training camps around the NFL starting up this week, what is there left for Brett Favre to do? Let's take a look at some career moves he could still make with his 40-year-old, cortisone fueled body.

Donate Footballs to Anyone, Anywhere

Perhaps Favre's most infamous legacy will be his uncanny ability to throw the ball to anyone, regardless of the team.

Of all the NFL records Favre holds, the one he'll want surpassed quickest is his career interception record of 317. Always trying to find a seam that may or may not have existed, Favre was often the best quarterback for his opposition.

Now that he's out of football, he can use his wealth, generosity, and bionic arm to sling frozen ropes to fans all over the country.

Run into Favre at a baseball game? "Brett, I'm open!" You just may get a sizzler right in your chest.

Catch him walking into a movie theater? "Favre, they're doubling Donald, hit me!" Just make sure there aren't any windows of senior citizens in the vicinity.

Coach Middle School P.E. in Shelby, NC

Though Favre left the NFL more gracefully than Kenny F. Powers did from baseball in HBO's Eastbound & Down, there is something to be said for having a former great imparting his knowledge on unsuspecting youth.

Having dealt with a much less severe substance abuse problem than Powers, Shelby Middle School administrators should be atwitter about replacing Mexico-bound Powers with the now unemployed Favre.

While Favre is used to the Juggs machines firing footballs across practice fields, he may need some time to adjust to April's jugs, which could probably wrangle one of his zingers from as few as 10 yards away.

Continue His Movie Career

Thanks to his cameo in "There's Something About Mary," the whole world finally figured out how to pronounce his last name. And with a smile that sells Wrangler jeans nationwide, why shouldn't he try his luck on the silver screen?

Serious movies? No. Sports flicks? Maybe, but that'd just be overkill.

Favre's childlike exuberance while jumping into the arms of his linemen after every single touchdown would make him a great lead in Bretty Madison, a remake of Adam Sandler's journey from Kindergarten through 12th grade.

While the O'Doyles may give him a rough time for having an odd name and a molasses-thick southern accent, they'll be singing his praises when he quarterbacks the middle school, JV, and Varsity teams to conference titles. Knibb High Football rules!

Head Spokesman for Waffle House, Inc.

For each of the past four offseasons, NFL fans have been subjected to Favre's waffling over retiring, playing, starting, retiring, playing, etc. to the point where this author sees nothing but a big, delicious waffle topped with butter and Vermont maple syrup every time Favre steps up to the podium.

Similar to the flip-flop sandals bearing Senator Kerry's likeness in the 2004 Presidential Election, Waffle House could introduce a combination plate called "The Favre."

Now this combo plate can include, well, just about anything. After you order it, you've then got four minutes to change your mind about your entire order while your waitress must obey because hey, the official attire of the waitstaff will be any of the four jerseys Favre donned throughout his career.

Author's Note: Huddle House would have sought Favre's likeness, but Favre has never had a serious moment in a huddle and therefore would have likely run the business into the ground.

Re-Re-Re-Unretire

Let's face it: Favre still has it more-so than any of us mortal fans. Last offseason, while being as retired as you can be without being retired, he finally decided to come back to the Vikings, much to the chagrin of Packers fans.

And this was no swan song granted to him by the Vikings out of the kindness of their hearts just so he could parade across the country one last time like the Pope in his waning years.

Nay, last season was one of Favre's most productive, throwing 33 touchdowns and only seven interceptions, the fewest in a season since two of his four passes were picked off in his rookie season with Atlanta.

Meanwhile, his Minnesota Vikings finished second in the NFC and were kept out of the Super Bowl only by an overtime field goal by the Saints' Garrett Hartley.

While Favre is probably serious this time, and we'll likely never see No. 4 in myriad jerseys, raring back for the long ball, I think a part of us and an even bigger part of him wish that he could make one final run at a Super Bowl ring.