2010 NFL Draft Satire: St. Louis Rams Shock NFL by Trying to Draft Asomugha

With the first overall pick on Thursday night, the St. Louis Rams shocked the sports world when they decided not to draft quarterback Sam Bradford, but instead take Oakland Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha.

“We were looking for a pick that was certain to make an impact for a number of years,” Rams GM Bill Devaney said. “The way I see it, the guy we just drafted has already established himself as one of the best players, and is certain to make us a contender. 

While there is no doubt that this caught ESPN’s Mel Kiper off-guard, no one was more shocked than Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis.

“Last time I checked, you couldn’t draft someone already in the NFL. I mean, that was in 1947, but the rules couldn’t have changed that much, could they?” Davis responded.

As soon as the pick was in, the fans started to stir and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell immediately went into the back to discuss the merit of the draft pick.

After about an hour of confusion, it was determined that the pick, while uncontested by Asomugha, was indeed against the rules and the Rams would have to select another player.

Though this wasn’t a shock to the other 31 teams in the NFL, the news came as a great shock to the Rams.

“We can’t figure out why they won’t let us pick him. The Raiders are a distinguished program from the Pac 10, and adding a player of his caliber would do wonders with our defense,” Rams head coach Steve Spagnuolo said.

Upon hearing Spagnuolo’s comments, Commissioner Goodell was quick to inform the Rams that the Raiders were actually one of the 32 teams in the NFL and not a college football program.

“I understand the confusion. I mean, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have nightmares about Al Davis, I would probably forget they were in the NFL too,” Goodell said. “Look at their roster! I think the only reason they don’t move back to LA is that they would be afraid that USC would want to play them.”

The Rams finally came to the realization that the Raiders were actually a professional football team and drafted the Oklahoma quarterback, but are still hopeful to acquire Asomugha.

“From what I read online about these ‘Oakland Raiders,’ they take pride in getting washed up players. Maybe we can convince them that A.J.Feeley is a superstar and trade for him.”