Bleacher Report EPL: The First Church of Arsene Wenger

“People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: "you're not fooling anyone," they know I'm rock and roll through and through” – David Brent.

I am a relative newcomer to Bleacher Report, and in the whole, I have been impressed by the Web site.  However, over the past few weeks as I have began my perusal of the EPL facet of the site, I have been witness to an alarming trend. 

One which I did not expect.  And certainly one which I have not been impressed with.

Quite simply, I am referring the sheer volume of "work" that is dedicated to the Arsenal team.  I’m going to go ahead and say that at least 50 percent of the articles published are focused on some aspect of "The Gunners."  It may not be that much, but it certainly seems like a disproportionate amount. 

So, having delved into the vast catalogue of twaddle the Arsenal-lovers of this site had to offer, I realized that I needed to ask myself some questions. 

I must have been missing something. 

Some reason for all this infatuation with the London side. 

Some reason why there appears to be more than one writer contributing a seemingly daily blog analysing every detail, of every game, of every player. 

Some reason for the comparison of the Arsenal side with the current crop of geniuses from Barcelona.

I could not find any.

At this juncture, I will flag that the initial quote is completely unrelated to the topic of this article.

Not being blinded by an Arsenal adoration, I tried to look at things with some objectivity. With that in mind, I went to the one place known for total objectivity, accuracy, and factual perfection. 

Enter, Wikipedia.

Being the fountain, and possibly creator, of all known knowledge, it told me that this current Arsenal side has yet to win anything.  At all. 

Indeed, the Emirates stadium has not been christened with a trophy since 2005.  Though it was not even built back then, so I guess it is still a trophy Virgin.  (I respect anyone who managed to get that pun.  Even if I have lost all respect for myself for making it.)

The crux of many articles centred around Arsenal being one, if not simply the, best team in the world.  The basis for this, whilst obviously not on achievements, was because they played attractive football.  In one comment, and probably more, it was remarked that they play "total  football."

There is no doubt that Arsenal are technically a very gifted team, with technically very gifted players.  But I think suggesting that they play "total" football, ala the great Dutch team of the 1970’s, is a step too far.  It has been remarked that the current, all-conquering, Barcelona team also employ total football. 

However, one must remember that the Spanish side collected every piece of silverware available to them last season.  It would therefore seem almost disrespectful to the Catalan giants to equate their football to their flattering English counterparts.

If Arsenal play total football, what sort of football must Barcelona play?  Totally total football?  Give me a break.

With the draw for the Champions League, came another opportunity for the Arsenal bandwagon wagon to convert this site into the First Church of Arsene Wenger (linked to the headline….textbook stuff). 

In one article, oddly entitled, "Why Arsenal Have Nothing To Fear From Barcelona," the author makes the rather bold statement that "it’s all geared up for an Arsenal v Man U final."

I just don’t know how this sort of statement can be justified.  I mean, Arsenal have been convincingly beaten this season by both Chelsea and Man United.  Of course they still have every chance of winning the title, but given their performances against their toughest opposition, it must surely be unlikely that they will defeat Barcelona. 

And like I have mentioned above, not just any Barcelona side either.

While I have that article open, I might as well quote one more line, just to show the imagination of some these Arsenal fans:

“I was not expecting Barcelona, never in a million years.”

Probability was never my strong point in school, but by my reckoning there was a one in seven chance of a tie against the Spanish side.  But that would only happen once in a million years.  Right?

Another such article proclaimed that the Gunners had the best chance of beating "Barca" than any of the remaining teams in the competition.  If that is indeed the case, I’d give the go-ahead for the B, A, and R to be engraved onto the trophy—especially the R.  I wouldn't want to give Bayern Munich any ideas.

I love the way Arsenal play football.  They are, for a lot of the time, a joy to watch. 

As a Liverpool fan (for my sins), I have an inherent, and keen, dislike for all things Manchester United.  But, over the past few weeks, it has been Arsenal fans "grinding my gears," with their pretentious attitude and over-hyped view of their team. 

And constantly using the personal pronoun "we" when talking about them.  That annoys me too.  Cesc Fabregas does not consider you a teammate.

All that being said, I do kind of hope Arsenal win the league. 

I’m also not referring to all Arsenal fans on this Web site.  Just the ones I don’t like.

Well, I started with a quote, so it seems only fitting to end with one too:

“Personal philosophy: clothing optional.” – Chazz Michael Michaels

That one is more relative to this article.  Albeit only slightly.