Brett Favre's Retirement Soliloquy: To Play, or Not To Play?

Brett Favre will be on with Jay Leno tonight, where he is sure to be asked about retirement. This is the speech I believe he has prepared for tonight:

Transcribed from Shakespeare's famous soliloquy: "To be, or not to be" from Act Three, Scene One of Hamlet.

Brett Favre:

To play, or not to play—that is the question:

Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The sacks and knockdowns of outrageous football,

Or to take arms against a sea of Packers

And by opposing end them? To quit, to retire—

No more—and by retire to say we end

The heartache, and the 317 interceptions

That flesh is heir to. ‘Tis consummation

Devoutly to be wished. To quit, to retire—

To retire—perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;

For in that retirement the Hall may come

When we have shuffled off this aging shoulder,

Must give us pause: There’s the respect

That makes calamity of so long career;

For who would bear the punishment of Julius Peppers,

Th’ helmet to helmet hits, the taunts of former teammates,

The pangs of Super Bowl rings, the ref’s delay,

The 12 men in the huddle, and the picks

That go to the house in fourth quarters

When he himself might his retirement make

With a press conference? Who would sacks bear,

To grunt and sweat, but skip training camp;

But that the dread of January after retirement

The Sundays at home, when HD TV

Is just not enough, puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear practice and playbooks

Than sit and watch from an armchair?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,

And thus the picture of retirement

Is sicklied o’er with thought of sticking Ted Thompson again,

And enterprise of touchdowns and glory

With this regard, there are still interceptions

That haunt my very core. —Soft you now,

Brad Childress!—Vikings fans, in thy orisons

Be the fourth quarter interception remembered.