Alinghi, The Jig Is Up In the 33rd America's Cup

Now, I haven't been following sailing (or yachting, depending on your fancy) as much as I would want to, but I have this to say about the Swiss sailing syndicate known as Alinghi:

The jig is up.

I repeat, the jiggaloo is uppaloo.

Be a good billionaire, Ernesto Bertarelli, and give the America's Cup back to the States where it rightfully belongs.

Good boy.

Larry Ellison's BMW Racing, led by New Zealand's Russell Coutts and Australia's James Spithill, wrested the trophy away from Switzerland's Societe Nautique de Geneve in a 2-0 whitewash off the shores of Valencia, Spain.

I remember when I was about 10 or 11-years-old, and I watched Dennis Conner's Stars & Stripes cough up the Auld Mug to Coutts Team New Zealand (a.k.a. the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron) 5-0 off the coast of San Diego.

The America's Cup would not return to the States for a decade and a half.

Man, that's gotta be quite a long wait, don't you think?

Two times the USA tried to bring it back. Both times the USA were denied.

2000: AmericaOne, led by Dennis Conner, lost a 5-4 heartbreaker to Prada Challenge in the Louis Vuitton Cup to challenge Black Magic.

2003: BMW Oracle faced off against Alighi in the 2003 Louis Vuitton Cup to get another crack against Team New Zealand. They were thumped 5-1. Alinghi went on to take the America's Cup away from the Auckland and into Geneva.

And in 2007, Alinghi were able to fend off a challenge from Team New Zealand (under the sponsorship of Emirates Airlines) to keep the Cup in Switzerland.

But today, America received the biggest Valentine's Day present they could ever get from the heart of San Francisco known as the Golden Gate Yacht Club.

In Race 1 of the America's Cup, Alinghi tactician Brad Butterworth turned into Brad Butterballs when the defenders were cuffed by the race judges for not keeping things clear near the start. How much did Alinghi lose by?

Let's try, hmmm...about 15 and a half minutes.

15:28, to be exact. Five minutes for a penalty turn, the other 10 when BMW Oracle Racing caught up to Alinghi 15 minutes into the race and flew ahead at 23.5 knots.

Essentially, USA-17 wanted to prove that it was "The Ultimate Sailing Machine."

It got its wish.

While Alinghi performed a bit better in the second race by taking a lead between the start and the windward mark, they were penalized for heading inside the start box before the five-minute warning signal began.

Coutts's BMW Oracle Racing crew closed in, eventually took over at the mark, and never looked back.

Powered by a superior wing weapon tri platform, USA-17 made a push to stretch towards the finish line after light winds forced them to make a gybe.

By the time Alinghi crossed the line, they finished 5:26 behind the USA.

Time-wise, these Swiss were Swiss cheese. Emmental, if you want to put it that way.

They were 24 seconds behind the start, 28 behind at the windward mark, and 2:44 behind at the gybe mark, Mark 2.

This team never stood a chance.

But then again, if you have Russell Coutts on your team, how can you lose? That's 15 straight America's Cup match races that Coutts has won. This also marks the very first time that a challenger has won a Deed of Gift match.

But for me, the casual sailing spectator, I can't be any more thrilled to see that the America's Cup is returning...to America. It's been quite a long time coming, but the Auld Mug will get the proper homecoming it deserves...on Valentine's Day 2010.