My Two Cents: The 2/11 Impact of a Face Palm

In recent articles, I’ve spent a good amount of time criticizing some of the business practices of TNA Wrestling.  In my commentary, I’ve seemingly taken an anti-TNA stance with my views, often inciting vicious debates between the faithful TNA supporters here on B/R and the faithful pro wrestling fans that can spot bull manure when they see it.

I try to stay away from talking about the wrestlers in specific and tend to focus more on the direction of the product in my commentary.  I can only comment on what I see and simply offer my opinion on what I’ve been presented with.

It is on that note that I can confidently say that last night’s episode of TNA iMPACT has succeeded in pissing me off to a degree that I thought was not humanly impossible even by their standards.

Before we embark upon a Salem witch trial here, I’ve got to place my anger into a frame of reference.   I had the extreme pleasure of enjoying last night’s show without the luxury of sound, which unintentionally made the program way better than usual.  I didn’t have to endure Mike Tenay’s incessant rambling or Taz’s Spanish Inquisition against the English language.  That was pretty cool.

The downside to this is the fact that I had no clue what was happening in the backstage segments or in-ring promos, so my students and I passed the time by making up our own commentary.  You haven’t heard funny until you’ve imitated Hulk Hogan and added the word “brother” after every fifth word you say.

The actual wrestling that I witnessed last night was pretty good, particularly the match between Orlando Jordan and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.   I also enjoyed the tag team bout between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson versus Hernandez and Desmond Wolfe. 

I was confused at why TNA set us up with a heel/face versus heel/face tag team match, but then one of my students reminded me that there were no heels or faces in TNA, to which I simply nodded my head and felt bad for attempting to insert logic into Vince Russo's booking tactics.

But, and this is a huge one, there were two things about the creative direction of the two main storylines of TNA that really seriously made me cuss and rant like Yosemite Sam for about ten minutes.  At this point TNA is spending a lot of money and efforts on these two storylines, so it is safe to assume that the future of the company at this point rests on the success or failure of their creative direction.

“The Nature Boy” A.J. Styles

I mentioned earlier that I was graced with the gift and curse of not being able to hear last night’s show.  When it came to the intense confrontation between A.J. Styles, Ric Flair, and Samoa Joe last night, I really missed out on what some commentators say was a good verbal altercation.

However, I was slightly distracted by the glaringly epic failure that is A.J. Styles’ character development.

Tons of fans have commented on how they dislike Styles’ recent heel turn, while I actually commented that I welcomed the much needed attention paid to the development of Styles’ character.  In case you don’t remember, Styles officially turned heel at the 1/17 Genesis pay-per-view after using his title to defeat Kurt Angle in the main event.

On the 1/21 episode of iMPACT , Ric Flair officially aligned himself with Styles and proclaimed that he would make Gainesville, GA’s favorite Cub Scout “the Next Nature Boy.”  It wasn’t long after that this creative direction for Styles failed, even though I continued to hope and pray by the fuzzy beard of Xanta Claus that it would succeed.

How did it fail, you ask?  Well for starters on that same episode, Styles and Flair were accompanied to the ring with three women of indeterminable occupation.  After Flair successfully warmed up the crowd and the microphone for his protégé, he hands the stick to Styles who proceeds to ask the crowd a simple and heel-like question:

“Don’t these women look good?”

The crowd booed, which was what Styles and Flair intended for them to do.  This is what you heard and saw if you were watching the show that night.

What you didn’t hear was the chants from the crowd that not only accompanied the boos, but were also edited out of the program:

“You are married! **clap clap clap clap clap**

This response elicited an awkward pause from our TNA World Heavyweight Champion, who more than likely thought, “Damn, I knew there was something I forgot to mention about this angle.”  This slight hesitation from Styles probably lasted longer than what it should have by television standards, so it’s a good thing that footage ended up on the editing room floor as well. 

And we wonder why TNA won’t do live shows at this point on a regular basis.

Nevertheless, this slight mistake made by the creative team has resonated loudly through the development of Styles’ character development.  Much like the current uneventful championship reign of Sheamus, pro wrestling fans were able call a spade a spade in saying that this creative direction didn’t make any sense.

Back to last night’s iMPACT… Samoa Joe storms to the ring and calls out A.J. Styles.  Of course, Styles and Flair both respond to the call and enter the Impact Zone to stand on the ramp and humor Joe’s request.  It’s at this point where my frustration goes super saiyan.

What makes most wrestlers successful is if they’re able to accurately portray their in-ring character.  I will always contend that pro wrestlers are among the best athletes and actors/actresses out there.  The ability to convince 14,000 plus that you’re either a complete jerk or an absolute hero is something that isn’t common among all people.

Furthermore, a pro wrestler’s in-ring character is often more successful when the wrestler is allowed to be himself or herself as that character, and that character is just usually an over exaggeration of the actual wrestler.  The “Stone Cold” Steve Austin character worked during the Attitude Era not only because of the fan’s interests, but also because the beer swilling, bionic redneck was a super dramatized version of Steven James Anderson (Williams).

He was essentially allowed to be himself, just amped up 400 notches.  It is for this same reason that a lot of fans don’t agree with the current direction of the WWE’s characters because most of their actions and promos are scripted and unnatural.  They can’t even fake sounding genuine.

The same thing happened with A.J. Styles last night.  He’s currently being groomed as this generation’s Ric Flair, but that is so totally not in his personality. 

The “limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ and dealin’” gimmick worked and works for Ric Flair because in a nutshell, that was who he was and in a way is still who he is.  His three divorces, current divorce proceedings, failed business pursuits and penchant to work for money speak to that fact very loudly.

It hasn’t worked and will not work for A.J. because that is just not who he is.

How did I come to this conclusion?  For starters, all of the “Nature Boy-esque” suits that Styles has been wearing since his heel turn pale in comparison to the style and flair of the suits Ric wore in his heyday.  In fact, the ensemble that Ric Flair wore last night looked way better than the suit A.J. wore.  And here I thought Styles was supposed to be the focal point of this creative direction!

Styles bland tan suit and tie, coupled with a very suspiciously pastel yellow shirt, made me feel as if he purchased the get up from K-Mart.  It seemed to me that Styles’ mom dressed him for 11:15 AM service at Mount Hebron Valley Baptist Church rather than a confrontation with a man known for travelling with a nation of violence.

How am I supposed to think of A.J. Styles as the new Nature Boy when they can’t even make him dress the part?  My God, is the man going to be the epitome of style or is he going to put the “pal” back in principal?

I won’t even go into how I feel about Samoa Joe, a man who walked around with his opponent’s blood on a towel for half a year, getting beat up by Ric Flair and A.J. “Deacon Board” Styles.

Give It Up…for The Band

The last bit on the show involved Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac laying quite the beat down on Kurt Angle, when Hulk Hogan eventually meanders into the ring.  In what was probably the least unpredictable swerve of the night, Hogan sides with The Band only to cold cock them with a pair of brass knuckles to save Kurt Angle the further embarrassment of pretending to be incapacitated by their attack.

I wasn’t mad at the angle, and I wasn’t even mad at the fact that I saw it coming a mile away as bright as a cloudless, sunny summer afternoon.

What pissed me off what the fact that Kurt Angle had to sell to the Shane McMahon phantom strikes of Pac and Hall, but he also had to maintain his professionalism while Hall and Pac’s oversold his counterattacks.

Okay, I should be use to Hall overselling moves a bit, but it was Pac’s flopping and flailing about that made me face palm myself and say, “This is flippin’ ridiculous!”

I even yelled at the TV to Pac, saying “Sit your silly ass down!”  Then I realized that TNA hardly listens to their cast members, so they probably wouldn’t give a hoot about what I had to say…that and the fact that they couldn’t hear me either.

To make matters worse, after Hogan laid out Scott Hall with the brass knuckles, Syxx-Pac attacks him with a wild haymaker.  Hogan blocks the errant punch (as expected) and places his hand on Pac’s head to fine tune the accuracy of his knockout blow.   Hogan reared back his hand and prepared to give Pac the business end of those brass knuckles…

BAM!!  Hogan lands the punch on Pac, who flies backwards in the air (overselling again) and lands flat on his back, leaving fans to believe that Hulk “One Punch” Hogan has singlehandedly given The Band what for.

What I failed to mention, and I’m hoping you caught this, is that that Pac used that five second interval to flail his arms and stomp his little legs on the ground while Hogan rearranged his cataracts. 

Syxx-Pac actually let another grown man hit him…

He didn’t kick Hogan in the knee; he didn’t move out of the way when Hogan punched him; he didn’t even attempt the standard Roddy Piper eye poke.  Instead, he stood there for five full seconds and waited for Hogan to punch him.  How frickin’ ridiculous was that?

It’s not that Hogan had Khali’s head vice on the man, either!  In fact, Hogan looked as if he were trying to keep Pac from advancing by placing his hand on the man’s head.  And then Pac had the unmitigated gall to fly into the air as if he had been hit with Rigo Suave’s windmill wind-up uppercut from EA’s Toughman Contest.

How are we supposed to take TNA seriously when it seems as if the guys meant to bring the company notoriety aren’t taking it seriously themselves?  It’s the little things that always make a big difference, and it’s the little things like what I mentioned that kept the show from being great. 

When you plan on competing with the big dogs of pro wrestling, you have very little room to aggravate and confuse your fan base. 

The Pac debacle is one thing, but I cannot forgive the creative team for taking a phenomenal athlete and making him to be something he isn’t rather than further developing his character as the heart and soul of the company or as a smug, pompous, self-congratulatory heel that feels his skill is way above that of every wrestler in TNA, perhaps even his own mentor.

Hell, at least give the man some better suits!

With all the TNA wrestlers busting their asses to deliver a quality product each time the camera light turns on, and even with Dixie Carter investing tons of money into the Hogan/Bischoff Era of her company, I can’t help but wonder when the creative team will catch up with everyone else that’s on board the TNA Titanic.

 It is ironically apropos that this Sunday’s TNA pay per view is entitled Against All Odds , because it still seems as if the company is fighting an uphill battle towards not only finding their niche but also making sense.

I’m just sayin’…