Super Bowl XLIV: Nine Things I Hate

By JOHN P. WISE
One Great Season

I can't remember the last time I was looking forward to watching a Super Bowl. Though I didn't move to New York until 2006, there was some sincere excitement leading up to the Giants-Patriots classic two years ago.

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But overall, the hype is a bigger deal than the game itself, and our excessive culture seems to prefer it that way. Remember, we're the people whom folks from other parts of the world love to hate. You don't agree? Well, Exhibit A of our over-the-top gluttony will be on display after 6 o'clock ET tonight.

I hate many things about the Super Bowl, but these nine things in particular:

Two weeks of ridiculous hype

Didn't the NFL try to go to the one-week format not too long ago? Why not stick with it? College basketball is the only sport that should be played in February.

Groupies in South Beach

For many, the Super Bowl is a chance for tight-shirted women to try to sleep with meet celebrities on the party circuit. Truly disgusting.

Halftime music

Regardless of how tired the acts are, since when did the pinnacle of American professional football go hand-in-hand with music? It's a sporting event, not a concert.

The "World Champions" Tag That's Handed to the Winner

Typical American arrogance. How does the National Football League crown a world champion?

Tickets

The Super Bowl is almost like an NCAA Tournament first and second round site. Sure the seats are filled, but with how many true fans of the teams actually playing in the game?

Media Day

The larger the stage, the more exposure journalists get for their annoying practices. How  did the reporter who asked Tom Brady to marry him a few years back get credentialed?

Dwight Freeney

A torn ligament does not heal in two weeks. But because it's the Super Bowl, and those who play in it are macho, Freeney might play.  Meathead.

Chris Berman

I'm sure when ESPN's NFL broadcast team signs off tonight, this jackhole will use one of his many weak, classic rock references. Nothing he's said in the last 10 years has been fresh. But that won't stop him from dropping a "What a long, strange trip it's been" note during the post-game when signaling the close of another great NFL season. (Bonus video: Berman's on-set meltdown)

Greatness

I just heard a couple of analysts say Drew Brees has to win in order to be considered great. Oh, really? Well then, does that make obsolete their analysis of him throughout the regular season and pretty much the last three or four years?

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