MLS Lets Fans Vote for All-Stars, Stupidity Ensues

MLSnet.com, the online home of America’s top soccer league, is currently permitting fans to vote for the league’s all-star team, which will take on West Ham United of the EPL at BMO Field in Toronto on July 24, 2008.

Letting fans vote for the all-stars is a tradition in U.S. sports culture, but it has proven to be a double-edged sword in every sport where it’s been allowed. While it encourages fan participation and interaction, it also results in some incredibly stupid selections. I’m talking about selections based on popularity or notoriety, rather than merit.

It would be like picking a high school valedictorian based on students’ votes, instead of GPA’s.

“Well, sure Samuel got a 4.0 and passed all his advanced placement courses, but head cheerleader Suzie has a fantastic rack, throws great shindigs and she said she’d consider going to prom with me if I voted for her…” 

Now, (luckily) the fans don’t hold all the power. The online fan balloting only comprises one quarter of the MLS All-Star First XI selections, with coaches and general managers (25 percent), players (25 percent) and media (25 percent) also getting a say as well in who is named to the First XI, which will consist of one goalkeeper, three defenders, five midfielders and two forwards.

Of course, the flaw in this equation is that the only people less knowledgeable about MLS than the fans is arguably the media (i.e., people who claim they are fans but write their stories based off box scores). So now, 50% of the voting is controlled by people who, day in and day out, don’t really have a clue about who deserves to be there.

Let’s take a look at the current list and I will show you what I mean:

At forward, Landon Donovan (9 goals, 6 assists) is leading the pack. That’s a no-brainer. But in second place, it’s none other than Danny Dichio…

Seriously?

Now, obviously TFC fans are some of the most passionate supporters out there. But letting each fan vote ten times every day can obviously create some pretty ridiculous results. Dichio has had an good season (4 goals, 1 assist), but he is not worthy of the #2 overall spot (or a spot at all for that matter). That’s just ludicrous.

He’s not the only Red benefitting from the fan voting either, as you’ll see when we move on.

But first, getting back to forwards, Jozy Altidore (3 goals, 1 assist) and Juan Pablo Angel (2 goals, 2 assists) are currently neck-and-neck for the third forward position. They are both great players, but both have battled injuries and neither is having an all-star worthy season. Their inclusion on the team would be a testament more to their popularity than their play.

Who should be getting props? How about Kenny Cooper (6 goals, 1 assist), Jaime Moreno (5 goals, 4 assists), Chad Barrett (5 goals, 3 assists), Brian Ching (5 goals, 3 assists), or Alejandro Moreno (4 goals, 3 assists)?

In mid, Beckham (4 goals, 5 assists) is the #1 vote-getter in a landslide with Blanco (4 goals, 6 assists) in a distant second. I have no issues with these two, as their popularity has actually been backed up by brilliant performances. But third, you have TFC’s Amado Guevara (2 goals, 2 assists).

Ah, the TFC factor (not to be confused with the THC factor… cough cough). While Guevara’s been grand, he shouldn’t be a starter based on his play so far.

Meanwhile, HOU’s Dwayne De Rosario is fourth and Guillermo Barros Schelotto is fifth. The fact De Rosario (4 goals, 2 assists) is currently a starter is bad, but the fact he’s above Schelotto (5 assists), not to mention merit-based all-stars like Sasha Kljestan (4 goals, 3 assists), Robbie Rogers (5 goals) and Javier Morales (6 assists), says alot.

It says MLS fans who vote for the all-stars are stupid and do not watch the games. At least this season’s games anyways.

Most abhorrent though, is the voting for defense, where most causal MLS fans have been apparently just throwing up their hands and picking names they like. Frankie Hejduk deservedly is leading the way, but after him the rest of the list (save Jimmy Conrad who is currently out of the starting line-up in fourth) reads like a bad joke.

Of the next six defensive spots (#2-#7), four are currently held by TFC players (Wynne, Brennan, Marshall, Velez), which is funny because Toronto’s defense is currently second-to-last in goals allowed in their division. While that’s laughable, the other remaining defensive spot is currently occupied by….

Gasp…

Abel Xavier!

This has got to be the one selection that screams at the top of its lungs ”ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”

Never mind that the Galaxy have allowed the second most goals this season of any team, Xavier’s been a mess individually. To say he’s played poorly would be as much of an understatement as saying he has bad hair. He’s played miserably and his hair is an abomination. Moreover, he hasn’t even played that much! He’s started less than half the Galaxy’s game. Oh, and he has as many ejections as he does shots on goal!

But, I presume the idiots who currently have him battling for a starting spot on the MLS all-star roster recognized his name, didn’t recognize many others, and went ahead and clicked him in. It’s a truly sad day when one of the league’s biggest laughingstocks is poised to start for the all-star team, even though he is in danger of losing his starting position for his own club.

Funny though, MLS fans have seen fit to offer no Chicago Fire defender a spot in the top 10. They’ve given up only eight goals all season. I guess they need more recognizable hairstyles or they need to play in Canada if they want to make this squad…

Finally, at keeper, Jon Busch (0.80 goals per game) and Will Hesmer (1.27  goals per game), both who have had great seasons, are getting some love from the fans. But, if the game was played tomorrow just based on fan voting, they wouldn’t get the nod to start. Guess who would though?

Greg Sutton and his tenth best (out of 14) goals per game average of 1.44.

What team does he play for again?

Oh, that’s right… TFC.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you your MLS All-Stars, as voted by the fans… Toronto FC!!!

Oh Canada, what have you been smoking? It ain’t TFC…