Week 12 Predictions: Anyone Give a Damn for the Whole State of Michigan?

Listen up boys and girls; the biggest game of the week is not Arizona at Oregon, Ohio State at Michigan, Cal against Stanford, LSU and Mississippi, or even that barn-burner you can't get enough of: Harvard and Yale.

It's the Land Grant Trophy, given out to the winner of the Penn State and Michigan State game.

The Penn State fans love playing Michigan State for one reason: it's not a bad rivalry (i.e. Michigan or Ohio State), and Penn State has a pretty good record against the Spartans.

Since it's the last day of Penn State's season, a time when I can cry slowly as I pack up my Penn State gear till next year and thank Jesus it's all over for one more season (I can't deal with the heartache), I'll made a prediction.

Penn State by 14. Now...


Yale vs. Harvard

The Geek squad will be out in force for this one, working out how to make the next dumb ass business decision that will cost millions of people their jobs, homes, and incomes—over an expensive cocktail.

Prediction: Harvard by 10. Why? My cousins went to Harvard. My aunt and uncle live near Harvard. My father went to Harvard Business School. I'm not bright enough.


Cal vs. Stanford

It's the Geeks vs. the Hippies. And guess what? The Geeks are playing pretty darned well at the moment.

Jim Harbaugh's team beat the crap out of USC and Oregon, and (I dare to say it) deserve a Rose Bowl spot. It's do or die for the Cardinal, against a Bears team trying to work out if Jeff Tedford should really get fired.

Prediction: Go computer buffs and Tiger Woods lovers. Stanford wins by 21.


Virginia vs. Clemson

Clemson's knack of self-implosion couldn't possibly happen against Al Groan and his Cavaliers, could they?

Prediction: No. Clemson in a laugher.


Connecticut vs. Notre Dame

If Notre Dame loses to Connecticut, Charlie Weis won't be fired. He'll be shot outside Touchdown Jesus.

Prediction: Weis wins...finally. Notre Dame by 10.


Oregon vs. Arizona

Personally, we at the VFA are pretty glad Oregon and Arizona are getting together. Great cheerleaders on both sides? Check. Great co-eds? Check. Great teams? Maybe.

Prediction: Who cares? I'm hoping for great sideline shots! Oregon in a thriller, by three.


Texas vs. Kansas

If there's ever a game which should show the gulf between the Big XII North and Big XII South, it'll be this one.

If KU actually wins this game—and saves the job of Fattest-Coach-In-The-League Mark Mangino—and stops Colt McCoy from becoming the winningest quarterback in NCAA history—not hard, if you consider Texas' non-conference competition through that time—we'll run naked down the Streets of Austin screamin' "I've got a critter in my butt!"

Betcha rootin' for Kansas, ain't ya?

Prediction: Texas bludgeons Kansas. Mangino pokes someone else. We all get excited, too excited.


Minnesota vs. Iowa

Iowa can perhaps blame themselves for the loss at Ohio State. They played well—much like Wisconsin did in the 'Shoe a few weeks back—but shot themselves in the foot at important times. But Iowa's a Big Ten powerhouse that's here to stay beyond 2009, folks.

Prediction: Iowa. By 21.


Mississippi vs. LSU

If LSU plays as poorly as they did in the "emotional" victory against Louisiana Tech, they'll lose. If Jevan Snead continues to disappoint as he has for most of the year, Ole Miss will lose. Regardless of the result, these teams are a lot worse than Alabama.

Prediction: Ole Miss, by damn!


Ohio State vs. Michigan

Michigan is awful and Ohio State is not great but good enough to win Big Ten. Is it time for Rich Rodriguez to go? The boots will start to get warmed up if he loses this one.

Prediction: Closer than people think, but Ohio State still wins.