Spikeballs to Backpacks: Gear Up for Your Move Back to School
With the burger-sizzle smell of summer getting fainter each day and the whine of school-bus gears and/or your roommate's snoring now filling the ungodly hours of early morning, we are officially in back-to-school mode. Yep, it's time say goodbye (mostly) to your Fortnite addiction and say hello to your new friends—books and syllabi. Hooray!
But never fear. We're here to get you back to your best school self with the help of the sweet, sweet tonic of capitalism. So here are our top selections for our comrades in academia, each handpicked to put a little spring in your step these first few weeks back.
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Nike Sportswear Heritage Backpack ($35, Nike.com)
Backpacks are a bit of a conundrum. You need one to comfortably haul books, laptop, and notebooks from class to class, sure. But you don't want to look like you're about to hike the Appalachian Trail, either. That's why we like the simple colors and understated silhouette of these backpacks.
Their interiors are basic—which is a good thing, because it means you won't be tempted to overload yourself like you would with a more technical bag. And the design is classic enough to go with pretty much anything in your wardrobe, and it's designed with the athlete in mind, making it great for the gym or practice. It strikes a sweet spot between functional and fashionable that just works.
MacBook Air (from $849, BestBuy.com)
For years now this sleek little number has been a staple of lecture halls and lounges everywhere—and for good reason. Its combination of portability and speed is hard to beat and will cover 99 percent of whatever the school gods throw at you. (OK, OK, filmmakers, designers and photographers will probably need a Pro.)
And sure, it's no gaming laptop, but Chem 101 is tough enough without having to carry a brick of a machine around too. Trust us. You want something light and reliable—because nothing sucks worse than having to force-quit a dead program at 2 a.m. and lose all your hard work. Fortunately the Air checks all the right boxes in all the right ways.
Spikeball Set ($59.99, Walmart.com)
Remember when The Shining taught us what happens when life is all work and no play? (Spoiler alert: It's not good.) You'll definitely want to avoid that, which means getting out and getting the old heart pumping from time to time. With Spikeball you can kill these two important birds with one yellow ball-shaped stone.
This kit is easy to set up, easy to learn, and soon you'll be sweating while having fun—a nice change from your usual midterm night sweats. Plus it shows you're bold and confident enough to be an early sports adopter. There hasn't been another big sport invented in, like, a century. Maybe if you do your part, Spikeball will be the next big thing?
Stamina Doorway Trainer Plus Pullup Bar ($22.99, Walmart.com)
You know you should go to the gym. But it's also so far away and requires you to put on pants. So what if—and hear us out here—the gym could come to you? With this pullup bar, that's exactly what you're getting.
Have a door? Slap this sucker on it and suddenly you also have a personal gym. And that means you can work out while not wearing pants, which has to be some kind of index for success in life.
Nike Sportswear Heritage Joggers ($55, Nike.com)
Speaking of pants, if you have to wear them, why not make them as comfortable and easy to slide into as possible? That's where a nice pair of joggers has you covered. In the hierarchy of pants, joggers are as equally cozy as sweats, with the bonus that they signal you are willing to make at least a touch more than the bare minimum of sartorial effort. As such, they practically count as professional slacks.
Roll out of bed, slip these babies on, pull on a T-shirt—and you're good to go for that 8 a.m.
Wilson "The Duke" Official NFL Game Football ($99.95, Walmart.com)
Ah yes, football. That great American institution whereby chess-like strategy is combined with power hits, commercial breaks and delicious chicken wings. But did you know you can also play football instead of just watching it? It's true.
And with this NFL game ball—read: it's no mere replica—you can handle the same leather, the same double laces, as the stars on TV. Why is that important? We live in a world where people proudly display sizing stickers and holographic labels on their hats...so the question is, why wouldn't you buy an authentic NFL football? What are you, some kind of philistine?
Gold's Gym Extreme Cable Jump Rope ($11.77, Walmart.com)
Pair this with the pullup bar above and you have a strength and cardio combo that's about as versatile (and cheap!) as it gets. Think of it as insurance against the freshman 15. Getting to work on your Rocky impression is just an added bonus.
Sports Unlimited Zip Neck Adult Referee Jersey ($17.95, Amazon.com)
Everybody and their mom has a team jersey. But how many people do you see repping those unsung heroes of field, pitch and court: the referees? Now that can be you, thanks to this snazzy zip-neck.
You'll be known around campus as the guy or gal who's always game to adjudicate the most obscure of contests: fastest student through the cafeteria line, say, or most disgusting month-old pizza leftovers. And don't forget all the rec sports out there that need sober-minded refereeing. You'll be everybody's best friend in no time. So what are you waiting for? Your back-to-school destiny awaits. Good luck.
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