Jonny Wilkinson: The Pursuit Of Happiness

Rarely has a triumph brought so much joy to so many whilst at the same time bringing so much pain to the individual responsible for that triumph. On the 22nd November 2003 in Sydney, Jonny Wilkinson dropped the most famous goal in rugby history and thus brought to an end England’s wait for it’s first world title in a major sport since 1966.

Whilst English pride swelled as Martin Johnson lifted aloft the William Webb Ellis trophy, Wilkinson was left to come to terms with a very personal despair, the realisation that at the age of 24 his most cherished goal, a goal which he had dedicated his whole life to achieving, had been achieved.

“The problem with reaching the peak of the tallest mountain in your dreams is that the path can only wind down the other side further and further away from this idyllic moment. I had pictured this image—worshipped it even—for years, maybe as long as I could remember. As we walked around the field in our celebratory lap of honour I could feel my dream beginning to slip away. The brightness was already fading and with each second that passed so was my happiness,” he admitted.

During the years which followed the World Cup, Wilkinson was forced to reassess his own values and mindset, even studying Buddhist teachings and principles to help him deal with his own perfectionist attitude.

After twelve seasons at his beloved Newcastle Falcons, Wilkinson made the switch to the south of France this Summer to join the new revolution of rugby galacticos at Toulon. Following years of disappointments including multiple injuries and a World Cup Final defeat to South Africa in 2007, England’s ‘perfect 10’ finally seems to have found some form of contentment.

In an environment completely alien to his familiar Jordi surroundings, Wilkinson seems right at home, speaking fluent French and sporting flowing golden locks and a permanent tan. More importantly to English rugby fans he is playing some of his best rugby and is poised to make a return to the International stage in the Autumn.

It is hard not to appreciate the professionalism of a man who would regularly stay two hours after his teammates had finished training to perfect his kicking.

“I complete every session with six kicks at goal from different positions. I have to make every one before I can go home. If I don’t, the sequence starts again. My conscience doesn’t allow me to stop before the set is complete. My record, and it is not one I’m particularly proud of, stands at five hours, set when I was seventeen."

However, it is also hard not to feel sorry for Wilkinson for this same professionalism. For here is a man who is so desperate to succeed over and over again, that he had forgotten to enjoy a moment that nearly every boy in this country dreams of: winning the world cup. Here is a man who is so desperate not to let anyone down that he confessed, “I refuse to go into a fast food outlet—to use the toilet even—in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. I play with a fear of letting people down. That’s what motivates me.”

Wilkinson is spurred on by his belief that “perfection is not held by the man who has everything he wants but thrives in him who gives everything he has.” One suspects that such a driven individual will never be completely contented and that behind his healthy exterior there still remains, and always will remain, a deep sense of dissatisfaction with imperfection. 

In many ways this motivation has paid off, seeing as Wilkinson has achieved so much in his career; he became the first English player to score over 1000 International points, is the highest points scorer in World Cup history, won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award in 2003 and the IRB (International Rugby Board) Player of the Year award in the same year. This is not to mention the fact that he has been a key member in teams that have won the World Cup, a Grand-Slam Six Nations Championship, the English Premiership and the Tetley’s Bitter Cup. Perhaps the only accolade to escape Wilkinson’s grasp is a Lion’s Series winner’s medal (he was part of the 2-1 series defeat to Australia in 2001 and 3-0 whitewash to New Zealand in 2005).

Like every famous sporting star in this country, Wilkinson is worshipped by an adoring public. However, this is a side of fame that he is most uncomfortable with. During the final weeks of the 2003 World Cup he would dress in a cap, shades and heavy jumpers, even on the warm beaches of Sydney, indistinguishable to even his own team-mates, simply to escape autograph chasing fans.

Rugby runs through his veins. He lives, sleeps and breathes rugby and he plays simply for the love of the game. “I never asked to be famous. I just wanted to play rugby. If there were one man and a dog watching I wouldn’t care—I would still play the game. I just want normality again , I want to be similar to everyone else, to have the right to go out there and play , to start attacking my dreams and goals.”

Despite his amazing career, Wilkinson is a tragic story of intense self-criticism. He is in a constant pursuit of a happiness and peace of mind that he himself has made it almost impossible to reach. As a nation we can only hope that when the day comes for one of our dearest treasures to hang up his boots, he will look back on his career with few regrets and be satisfied with being the very personification of dedication. However, when this day comes, he will most likely have already outlined a whole new set of goals for the next chapter of his life.