USC-Notre Dame and The Luck of the Irish: Beep! Beep!

What luck!  College Football fans are in for a special treat this Saturday.  Two of the biggest rivalry games this year fall on the same day.  

In the Red River Showdown, Oklahoma battles Texas with Sam Bradford going head-to-head with Colt McCoy for the lead in the Heisman voting.  

In South Bend, USC visits Notre Dame with two Southern California quarterbacks, No. 1 rated Jimmy Clausen and true freshman Matt Barkley trying to outdo one another.

If you’re lucky enough to be hunkered in front of a TV Saturday, it will be all you could ask for and more—the pageantry, the action, the excitement.  Did I mention luck?

Sure, luck! What else? Do you think your team simply wins because they play better than their opponents? No, not always.  

They win because you’re wearing that same salsa-stained jersey you have worn for the last 10 years whenever and wherever your team plays.  They win because fans like you shout the old victory chant right into the TV every time your guys make a first down.  

Of course all of us want to give our team an edge up.  But sometimes trying to get an edge up on an opponent can bring its share of bad luck.

Take Notre Dame for example.  What are the Irish going to do this time to try to get an edge up on the Trojans?  

Charlie Weis must come up with something this time that finally gives his Irish a decided advantage over Pete Carroll and his Trojans.

Notre Dame has lost seven consecutive matches to the team from Southern California and has tried nearly everything to change their luck even before Coach Weis took his parting from Bill Belichick.

So far nothing has worked.  The Trojans have beaten the Irish in their seven straight wins by an average score of 40.6 to 13.6.

If you have ever watched a “Road Runner” cartoon, you get a sense of what this rivalry has been like over the past seven years.  

You know how Wile E. Coyote tries all these crazy stunts but winds up getting the raw end of the deal.  Beep!  Beep!

Well, that’s what has happened to Notre Dame.

First, the Irish tried growing their field turf so it would look like a Nebraska cornfield.  

I think they began heavily watering it in early August or maybe even right after the Fourth of July. The hope was that the long grass would slow down the Trojans.

But USC mowed right through the tall grass. In fact, the Trojan tailbacks and receivers ran so many circles around the Irish defenders that they left crop circles all over the gridiron.

Notre Dame even tried changing head coaches and raided that bastion of Irish America, Boston, to bring back their departed alumnus, Charlie Weis. Surely, Touchdown Jesus would smile with favor upon the Fighting Irish now that their prodigal son had returned.

Weis brought in the heavy artillery in his first season at the helm.  He had the Notre Dame pep rally broadcast nationally over ESPN with Notre Dame legends Tim Brown and Joe Montana introduced by master of ceremonies, Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger.

If that weren’t enough, Weiss added a magic spell.  After having the Irish warm up in their traditional navy blue jerseys, Charlie Weis had his team don the Kelly green throwback jerseys.

That was supposed to be a guaranteed spell that absolutely mesmerized opponents and allowed the Irish to romp through a field of dazed and confused defenders.

But, alas, neither green jerseys nor a fourth-and-long for USC with only seconds remaining and Notre Dame up 31-28 could change the luck of the Irish.  

A Matt Leinart-to-Dwayne Jarrett 61-yard sideline fade followed by the infamous Bush Push allowed the Trojans to once again snatch the Jeweled Shillelagh.  Beep!  Beep!

On the Trojans next journey to South Bend, Charlie Weiss dug out the green jerseys again along with “Digger,” the grave-diggers son, who emphatically announced at the pep rally, “We ain’t dead yet!”

That statement turned out to be a bit premature.  But at the time it was the Trojans who thought they were dead as their charter flight hit a violent storm and bounced into South Bend.

Also, the Trojans had lost their starting quarterback, John David Booty.  In his place was a red-shirt sophomore, Mark Sanchez, starting in only his second game.

Sanchez, a plane full of shook up Trojans, and the green jerseys. That had to leave the USC players dazed and confused this time around.

But the only ones who looked dazed and confused were the Irish as the Trojans handed them their worst home loss since 1956, 38-0.  Beep!  Beep!

So, now it is 2009 and once again the battle for the Jeweled Shillelagh is at hand.

What can Charlie Weis and his loyal supporters do this time to give Notre Dame a definite edge that will hold up?

It would be great if someone had invented retractable turf.  The groundkeepers could raise it up when USC had the ball and lower it for Notre Dame.

Since Notre Dame is a Catholic university, I’m sure they have already tried prayer.  What about a novena?  Or a fast for 40 days and 40 nights?  No, not enough time.

If there was only a way to bring back Knute Rockne for the Friday night pep rally.  Maybe they could hire Frank Caliendo to impersonate “Noot.”  Not quite the same, huh?

Wait!  I’ve got it.  This is an absolute surefire way to jinx USC and snap Notre Dame’s losing streak.  But it won’t be easy.

Notre Dame fans, get on your blackberries and barrage Lou Holtz with messages begging and beseeching him to pick USC in Saturday’s game.  The Lou Holtz Stone-Cold Lock of the Week!  USC over Notre Dame.

And he must include a televised locker room speech spurring the Trojans onto victory. 

It cannot fail.

Beep-Beep!

What's Your Lucky Charm?

Let's hear from Notre Dame and USC fans alike.  What's your lucky charm for Saturday?