Picking a Chinese Super League Team for Fans of Every Premier League Side
On Friday, March 3, the 14th edition of the Chinese Super League will get underway.
Most football fans are aware of the incredible state-backed spending power that China's top teams have demonstrated in recent seasons, some will know of the match-fixing problems that have plagued the professional game in the country in the past, and a few may even be aware that the league is home to some of the strangest club crests in the world.
The average western football fan, however, knows relatively little about the actual clubs in the league.
In order to provide some insight for the coming season, B/R has selected a Chinese team that will best suit supporters from each and every Premier League team. It's the Anglo-Chinese team comparison list that you never knew you needed—until right now.
So, take a look through and allow us to find the right deep-pocketed Chinese club for you...
If You Support Arsenal, You Will Like Shanghai Shenhua
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Shanghai Shenhua are one of the biggest clubs in China, owned and operated by conglomerate real estate developer Greenland.
As a team who play in blue, managed by Gus Poyet and boasting former players including Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka, one may imagine "The Flower of Shanghai" is a likely pick for Chelsea fans looking to back a CSL side.
However, they actually have much more in common with Arsenal.
Shanhua were recently forced to publicly apologise for an early elimination from the Asian Champions League, having fallen 2-0 to Australia’s Brisbane Roar.
Does a disappointing Champions League campaign sound familiar, Gunners fans?
They also finished fourth last season, and, having recently acquired Carlos Tevez, they know exactly how it feels to pin all of their hopes on a South American superstar.
Shanghai Shenhua are a massive club who haven’t come close to actually winning anything in over a decade, and they have a plucky crosstown rival, Shanghai SIPG, who are always striving to finish above them.
Basically, they are a net-spend debate away from completely transitioning into Arsene Wenger’s side.
If You Support Bournemouth, You Will Like Qingdao Jonoon
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Since there are only 16 Chinese Super League teams, we’ve had to fish into the lower divisions to find the perfect match for every Premier League team.
Eddie Howe’s Bournemouth are most similar to Qingdao Jonoon, a small side from the Shandong province who started at the bottom of the Chinese football pyramid in 1990.
In a Bournemouth-esque rise to greatness, Jonoon made it to the Chinese Jia-A League—the precursor to the CSL—in 1994.
However, after two decades at the top, the Sea Bulls were relegated in 2014 and dropped to China League Two (the third tier) last season.
Bournemouth fans who are repeatedly reminded of the size of Dean Court will find familiarity in the 20,525-capacity Qingdao Tiantai Stadium, which sits less than a mile from the coast of the Huiquan Bay.
There are a few other similarities too: they have a British manager (Andrew Gurney), they’ve never won anything and Jack Wilshere usually isn’t available to play for them either.
If You Support Burnley, You Will Like Tianjin Quanjian
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Having watched their city neighbours Tianjin Teda become one of the most successful Chinese teams in the past decade (they rank fourth in the CSL all-time table), Tianjin Quanjian won promotion to the top flight for the first time this season.
They did so under the guidance of former World Player of the Year Fabio Cannavaro, and the squad now includes the likes of Alexandre Pato, Axel Witsel and former Selecao striker Luis Fabiano.
Their most obvious similarity to Burnley is their crest, which sports a familiar claret and blue hue. What’s more, they’re a newly promoted team that definitely has the talent to punch above their weight and stay up. And Tianjin is a northern city whose economy is primarily supported by the manufacturing industry.
If they lose every away game and the Tianjin Haihe Education Park Stadium becomes a fortress, they may become indecipherable from Sean Dyche’s men.
If You Support Chelsea, You Will Like Hebei China Fortune
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Founded just six years ago, Hebei China Fortune won promotion to the CSL in 2015. Thanks to the swift cash injection of their multi-billion-dollar land developer owner, they have emerged as a key contender in the AFC Champions League.
Does that rapid, financially assisted rise sound familiar, Chelsea fans?
Hebei China Fortune are by no means the only CSL team to buy success, but they have done so in an accelerated fashion: Manuel Pellegrini signed on last summer, they pay Gervinho a £130,000 bonus for every goal he scores, Hernanes recently joined from Juventus and Ezequiel Lavezzi is halfway through an extremely lucrative two-year deal.
It is only fitting that fans of the first petrodollar-fuelled Premier League side should follow a team with "Fortune" in their name.
If You Support Crystal Palace, You Will Like Chongqing Dangdai Lifan
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The most westerly team in the Chinese top flight, Chongqing Dangdai Lifan are jointly owned by the Lifan automobile manufacturer and the Hong Kong-based Dangdai International Group.
They play at the 58,000-seater Chongqing Olympic Sports Center, making them one of seven Chinese Super League teams to play at a venue with "Olympic" in the title. (Fun fact: Fewer than half of those stadiums have actually had anything to do with the Olympics.)
Chongqing might just be China’s Crystal Palace. They’re a yo-yo club that’s been relegated twice in the past decade and play in an identical red-and-blue kit to Sam Allardyce’s charges.
Also, by all accounts Chongqing isn’t the nicest area to visit, with poor air quality, past crime issues and general drabness. A little bit like Croydon, then.
If You Support Everton, You Will Like Shijiazhuang Ever Bright
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At first glance, Everton are diametrically opposed to Shijiazhuang Ever Bright. The Chinese side started as an amateur organisation in 2001, but two years after turning professional in 2011, they moved from their home in Xiamen to Shijiazhuang in the Hebei province.
A move of nearly 1,200 miles makes Milton Keynes Dons' controversial relocation seem tame by comparison. Everton's furthest move, by contrast, was a brief jaunt across Stanley Park when they left Anfield in 1892.
However, Ever Bright play in exactly the same colours, they are the second most successful team in the region (behind the Chelsea-esque Hebei China Fortune), they have no global megastars and no real expectation of winning anything. In fact, a win this season is out of the question, as they were relegated when they finished rock bottom in 2016.
Also, the linguists out there will note that Ever Bright sounds a bit like Everton (well, the first half of it anyway). They adopted that name, with English spelling, in 2014—perhaps to accompany their kit colour as a subtle Merseyside tribute?
If You Support Hull, You Will Like Yanbian Fude
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The second most northerly team in the Chinese top flight, Yanbian Fude finished top of the second tier in 2015 to earn promotion to the CSL for the first time.
The city of Yanji boasts a large Korean population (the Jilin province in which it is situated shares a border with North Korea) and the team has traditionally featured many Koreans. Today, the manager Park Tae-ha and several squad members are from South Korea.
One might suggest that Hull fans would share an affinity with the team known as the "Baekdu Tiger." For starters, they both have a tiger in their nickname and on their crest. And they are both recently promoted teams with modestly sized stadiums.
In terms of geography and economics, Yanji suffers bitterly cold winters, it is situated in the blast zone of North Korean nuclear tests and there has been a widespread problem of crystal meth coming over the border. Essentially, it is not a town you would normally go out of your way to visit—much like the current City of Culture.
If You Support Leicester, You Will Like Shenzhen
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In 2004, just 10 years after their foundation, Shenzhen came out of nowhere to win the inaugural Chinese Super League. The following season, they finished third from bottom and didn’t get near the top half of the table again. They were relegated in 2011 and haven’t returned.
So, they won the league completely out of the blue and then disappeared into obscurity.
And they say the Leicester story is a one of a kind.
A further similarity to the Foxes comes in the fact that they have a manager who was once ridiculed in the English game: Sven-Goran Eriksson will take charge this season.
If You Support Liverpool, You Will Like Liaoning Whowin
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Liaoning Whowin are a hugely popular side, based in Shenyang, one of the most prominent northern port cities in the country. They play in red and boast an impressive stadium with the third-highest capacity in the league.
So far, so Liverpool.
Whowin’s greatest similarity to the Reds, however, is their retro pattern of success. They were a powerhouse in the 1980s, winning 10 major trophies in 10 seasons from 1984, including seven league titles. But since the top flight was rebranded, they have won as many league titles as Steven Gerrard.
This is a story that’s all-too familiar for the Anfield faithful.
Essentially, both teams have a name that gives their fans a misguided expectation of winning: Liverpool through their heritage and Liaoning through their rather hopeful "Whowin" moniker.
If You Support Manchester City, You Will Like Guangzhou R&F
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One of the fiercest local derbies in Chinese football sees the blues of Guangzhou R&F take on the intimidating red livery of Guangzhou Evergrande.
This is essentially the CSL version of the Manchester derby.
R&F, who are one of several clubs owned by a major property developer, are quite clearly the second club in the city. They play in the league’s smallest stadium—the humble 18,000-capacity Yuexiushan Stadium—and they average under 10,000 fans per game. (So, like City, they are familiar with the sight of empty seats on match days.)
The Blue Lions may live in Evergrande’s large shadow, but they are certainly competitive: They tend to finish in the top half of the league and qualified for the Asian Champions League two seasons ago.
If You Support Manchester Utd, You Might Like Guangzhou Evergrande
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If a club has "Be The Best Forever" written on its crest, it’s fair to say they have lofty ambitions.
Since being taken over by the Evergrande Real Estate Group in 2010, Guangzhou have mostly lived up to their motto: They’ve won the past six consecutive league titles, and manager Luiz Felipe Scolari is aiming for a quadruple of trophies in 2017.
Since being punished with relegation for a match-fixing scandal in 2009, the "Southern China Tigers" have completely turned their fortunes around. In addition to the league titles, they have lifted the AFC Champions League twice and have evolved into China’s most valuable football team.
Their 58,500-capacity stadium pulls in the biggest average attendances in the league and their playing staff includes Jackson Martinez, Paulinho and Chinese national team captain Zheng Zhi.
With their fortune, success and sizeable fanbase, Guangzhou Evergrande are clearly China’s equivalent of Manchester United. (Manchester United under Sir Alex Ferguson, that is.)
If You Support Middlesbrough, You Will Like Shandong Luneng Taishan
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Hailing from the industrial city of Jinan, Shandong Luneng Taishan are owned and operated by the Luneng Group: a subsidiary of the largest electric utility company in the world. They were anything but electrifying in the league last year—finishing just two points above the relegation zone—but they have won the CSL three times, most recently in 2010.
This season, Felix Magath is at the helm, while the strike force includes Papiss Cisse and the extremely well remunerated Graziano Pelle.
If Middlesbrough fans are looking to back a Chinese team, Shandong Luneng Taishan should certainly be considered. The city in which they play, Jinan, is named for the Ji River that once flowed through the city. Hence, they are a riverside team.
Furthermore, the city is one of the most polluted in the country, so a "Smoggies" nickname would be quite fitting.
On the field, the team's flirtation with relegation will chime with the Boro faithful, as will their Brazilian influence: Former Selecao stars Diego Tardelli and Gil are on the books, and Mano Menezes was the manager until June last year. Such South American influence may bring back fond memories of Emerson and Juninho...
If You Support Southampton, You Will Like Jiangsu Suning
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Chelsea fans may recognise Jiangsu Suning as the benefactors who gifted them £25 million for Ramires during the winter window of 2016.
Hailing from the city of Nanjing in the Jiangsu province, the team are much like the band Oasis in that they have been professional since 1994. They have yet to win the league but have twice finished runners-up, including last season.
Jiangsu Suning will be attractive to Southampton fans because, up until December 2015, they were known as Jiangsu Sainty. (They were owned by a local manufacturing company named Sainty and changed their name when the Suning Appliance Group took the reins.)
Much like Southampton, the city of Nanjing is also a pleasant port city. And their star player is currently Brazilian midfielder Alex Teixeira—so they also know how it feels to have at least one player that Liverpool desperately want.
If You Support Stoke, You Will Like Hangzhou Greentown
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Situated on an inlet of the East China Sea, Hangzhou is often referred to as the most naturally beautiful city in the country—hence the football team's brilliant "Greentown" suffix.
The club won promotion to the Chinese Super League in 2006 but were only spared relegation in 2010 when Chengdu Blades and Guangzhou Evergrande were sent down as a result of one of the league's many match-fixing scandals. Sadly, no corruption could save Greentown from the drop to China League One last season.
Despite their bright green kits, lack of former Barcelona stars and absence of fans shoving foreign objects into the ears of news reporters on deadline day, Stoke fans may see the appeal in Hangzhou Greentown: They have never come close to winning anything and hail from an industrial city that has a prominent textile industry.
But most importantly, Hangzhou frequently suffers from typhoon storms and very strong winds. Nobody fancies a cold and windy Tuesday night at the Hangzhou Huanglong Stadium!
If You Support Sunderland, You Will Like Tianjin Teda
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In the event that Sunderland fans are looking for a Chinese team, they may wish to consider Tianjin Teda, the current home of John Obi Mikel.
Firstly, Tianjin Share the Black Cats' trait of being a port city in the northeast. And much like Sunderland, the only league success they have had came many decades ago: They have won the Chinese top flight three times but have never come close in the Chinese Super League era.
Tianjin Teda have also been having a torrid time of late, with Mikel's team having suffered eight consecutive defeats in pre-season. Fans of the team at the foot of the Premier League might be able to relate to such poor form.
If You Support Swansea, You Will Like Henan Jianye
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Henan Jianye are currently in their second stint in the Chinese Super League, having dropped out of the top flight for a season in 2013.
The modestly sized club from the city of Zhengzhou managed to finish in fifth place in 2015, but they generally spend their time scraping for survival.
Perhaps Henan Jianye are most similar to Swansea: They have never won anything, they occasionally punch above their weight—but typically fight for survival—and are based in a city whose economy relies heavily on primary industries like coal mining and agriculture.
They are a no-frills outfit, void of any megastar players, who are based in the heartland. Basically, they are an angry Swan mascot away from being a clone of the Premier League's Welsh representatives.
If You Support Tottenham, You Will Like Shanghai SIPG
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Shanghai SIPG are yet another Chinese team with some strong Chelsea influence: They paid £52 million to take Oscar from Stamford Bridge in December and recently bolstered their defence with the acquisition of Ricardo Carvalho.
However, we have already established that crosstown rivals Shanghai Shenhua are the best fit for Arsenal fans, which makes SIPG the Chinese version of Tottenham.
SIPG constantly strive to finish above their close geographical rivals, but ultimately every season features the equivalent of a "St. Totteringham's Day" celebration among Shenhua fans. (St. SIPG-ingham's Day?)
There are plenty of similarities: SIPG have a bird on their crest and have come very close to glory in recent times, only to fall by the wayside (they narrowly missed out on the title in 2015).
Also, SIPG's coaching staff has a distinctly Tottenham feel: Andre Villas-Boas is undoubtedly sending the players into a sleepy trance with his PowerPoint presentations, while the goalkeeping coach is former Spurs shot-stopper Ian Walker.
If You Support Watford, You Will Like Changchun Yatai
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Changchun Yatai are the most northerly top-flight club in China, whose most successful season came in 2007 when they won the league.
The most spectacular thing about the team is its crest: it appears to depict a young boy with a duck's head, a pig's nose and deer antlers. If there is a more bizarre crest in world football, we've yet to see it.
Watford fans can certainly relate to a club with a slightly unusual animal on their crest and they will also appreciate Changchun Yatai as the new home of striker Odion Ighalo. The Nigerian striker and former Hornet admitted he had to Google his new club, but the combination of a £10 million annual salary and a boy-duck-pig-deer crest obviously proved too hard to resist.
In further similarities to Watford, Changchun Yatai change managers with alarming frequency: they've had six in the past three seasons. They were also denied promotion in 2001 when found guilty of match fixing—like a certain team in yellow, they have been partial to (allegedly) breaking the rules.
If You Support West Brom, You Will Like Shanghai Shenxin
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Founded in 2003, Shanghai Shenxin might be China's answer to the petrodollar-rich clubs of the west, as they are owned by the Hengyuan Petrochemical Corporation.
However, they live firmly in the shadow of their gargantuan city neighbours Shanghai Shenhua and Shanghai SIPG. They spent last season in China League One under English manager Gary White, having been relegated in the previous campaign.
West Brom—who are owned by Shanghai-based businessman Guochuan Lai—may see some similarities with Shenxin.
They are both a smaller club in their respective nations' second cities, they both have a bird on their badges and in 2010 Shenxin were kept afloat by top scorer Chen Zhizhao, with whom they later had a bitter contract dispute that kept him on the sidelines for an entire season.
The Baggies know how it is to majorly fall out with a player who is the key source of goals...
If You Support West Ham, You Will Like Beijing Guoan
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One of the more successful clubs and better-attended teams in the Chinese Super League, Beijing Guoan were champions in 2009 and have finished runners-up on three occasions. They also have three Chinese FA Cups to their name.
This doesn't sound terribly similar to West Ham—certainly in recent times—but they are a team from the nation's capital who play in the Workers' Stadium, a 66,000-capacity venue that was built for a failed 2000 Olympics bid and subsequently used for football at the 2008 Games.
So, both sides benefit from some Olympic pedigree, and the Workers' Stadium name conjures the industrial employee spirit that saw the original Thames Ironworks team formed.
And, if we're clutching at straws, neither team currently has a mural of Dimitri Payet at their home ground.
