Sundays From the Cellar: Rams Solidifying their place as #32

Documenting the unenviable chore that is following the worst team in the NFL, the St. Louis Rams.

Record: 0-4

Sunday’s Inevitable Outcome: 49ers 35, Rams 0

Week 4 Viewing Strategy: Free Red Zone Channel
Earlier in the week, I got an e-mail from the NFL Network alerting me to the fact that they were offering their NFL Red Zone channel for free on Sunday.  It seemed like a perfect compliment to a Rams game.  When the game inevitably became unbearable, I could flip over and watch highlights from all over the league, keep up with my fantasy team and get some exposure to what a functional NFL offense looks like.

Shortly after the Rams first three and out, I was promptly notified by a message on Channel 155 that the free trial of Red Zone was over at 3:15 CST, just in time to ensure that my only football related option was the Rams-49ers game.

Suddenly there was no escape.

Quarters since the last time the Rams offense was actually in the red zone…6

Even the Fox robot has gotten board watching their games and switched to Guitar Hero

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Offensive “Ram” of the Week – Josh Brown
Last year’s most productive offensive weapon on the Rams roster was kicker Josh Brown, who made 31 of 36 field goals for a season percentage of 86%. After coming up short on his lone attempt Sunday, through four games in 2009, Brown is kicking a whopping 25% with only one of his first four kicks going through the uprights.

Stat showing just how bad the Rams offense is
During Sunday’s game in San Francisco, the 49ers defense/special teams scored three touchdowns, which equaled the total touchdown count of the Rams offense in four full games this year.

Read that again – the 49ers defense and special teams had as many touchdowns in one freaking game as the Rams offense has had in four.

Next Week’s Gameday Attire for Rams Fans…

The Moment of Doubt
The Rams open up the game with a 91-yard kickoff return with Danny Amendola getting dragged down at the three-yard line.  The return had the Rams poised to jump on the scoreboard right away and put the heat on the 49ers out of the gate.  The message was clear: “you better have come to play today, 49ers, because this Rams team is ready to snap the longest losing streak in the NFL”

The Moment of Truth
Well behind Amendola’s run, a yellow flag flew to the ground. Holding by the Rams – bye-bye 91-yard return and hello three and out at their own 20-yard line.  Just like that the Rams sent a new message: “even if you didn’t come to play, 49ers, we will probably find a way to piss this game away.”

The Moment of “Holy Shit this team is horrible”
With 14:00 minutes left in the fourth quarter, the Rams offense fumbles an end around and the 49ers defense walks the ball into the endzone for a 35-0 lead.

Competition for #32
Going into this week, it looked like the Rams might be slipping out of the 32nd spot and relinquishing it to the Tampa Bay Bucs or the Cleveland Browns.  After Sunday’s performances, there should remain little to no question who is the worst team in the NFL.  The Browns took the Bengals to overtime before losing 23-20, the Bucs went to the wire at Washington losing 16-13, the Chiefs put up somewhat of a fight against the undefeated Giants 27-16 and meanwhile the Rams got pummeled in San Francisco by the score of 35-0.

The #32 spot is on lock down for a while.

The Depressing Truth for Rams Season Tickets Holders
The next three home games are against three teams that are currently undefeated – Minnesota, Indianapolis, New Orleans.

Up Next: vs. Minnesota Vikings (3-0)

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