The 12 Fines That Were Nothing to a Boss

Fines in professional sports represent the word "polarizing" better than Cam Newton.

In theory, fines are a great way for leagues to enforce little things such as dress codes and on-field/on-court behavior. Even better, a fine can punish behavior both frowned upon and illegal. It can also address issues of cheating, inflated or otherwise.

But some fines are downright silly—just a monetary slap on the wrist akin to $10 to the normal person. A silly gesture, and nothing to a boss. 

Like the silly fine that Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown coined as "nothing to a boss" (detailed within), here are the 12 fines that were nothing to a boss.

Drake "Recruits" Kevin Durant

John Salangsang/Associated Press

The NBA really thought Drake wanted to recruit Kevin Durant to the Toronto Raptors.

All right, maybe not. But Drake is technically a "global ambassador" for the Raptors, technically making him an employee of the team, which really means he gets to go around and represent the team and make NBA appearances.

Cool.

Not cool, apparently, was Drake dropping a sentence or two about Durant at a concert back in 2014.

"You know, my brother Kevin Durant was kind enough to come to the show tonight and watch us. I just want him to see what would happen if he came to play in Toronto. Let him know what would happen," Drake said, according to Vice Sports' David Matthews.

Per the writeup, that was enough for the Association to hit the Raptors with a $25,000 fine.

And in the grand scheme of things? The Raptors undoubtedly took it and shrugged it off—Drake's involvement as ambassador has made them a much, much bigger chunk of cash than the amount they were fined.

Denver's Fart Tax

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

That headline isn't a joke. 

Apparently flatulence was such a problem for the Denver Broncos in 2015 that the players implemented a fart tax.

Nicki Jhabvala of the Denver Post broke the epic story: "Von Miller said the Broncos have a fine system for, um, flatulence in meetings. Said he thinks he's been fined the most."

Jhabvala used another tweet to provide a statement from Miller, the main culprit.

"They can't fine me if I get up and walk away. It's NOT healthy. I keep trying to tell them it's not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person," Miller said.

Well alrighty then.

Look, you have to do what you have to do. The fact Miller spawned an in-house fine system due to farts is both hilarious and nothing to a boss—the dude has a $114.5 million contract.

Clinton Portis, A.K.A. Sheriff Gonna Getcha

Former Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis was quite the character during his time in the NFL.

The NFL helped create said character.

Portis wasn't a stranger to getting fined, at one point getting hit with a $20,000 letter from the NFL because he wore black shoes and striped socks.

To help show how much the league's fines were hurting his bank statements, Portis hit up weekly press conferences in colorful costumes.

Sheriff Gonna Getcha was probably the best, but it's certainly up to personal preference.

Troy Polamalu Makes a Call During a Game

Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Troy Polamalu's fine for making a phone call during a game is where the appeals process really shines.

The Pittsburgh Steelers safety took a wicked shot to the head back in the 2011 season and used a personal trainer's phone to call his wife and tell her he was alright, knowing she was watching the game on television.

Sounds simple, but the NFL has a no-phone rule in place during games.

Polamalu eventually won his appeal—and it only took like three months.

Would Polamalu have cared either way?

No chance.

Brian Urlacher Rocks Vitaminwater

Jeff Roberson/Associated Press

It's Super Bowl media week in 2006. Chicago Bears legendary linebacker Brian Urlacher walks to the podium and—uh-oh—isn't wearing a hat with the logo of a league-sanctioned sponsor.

No, Urlacher hit the podium with a Vitaminwater hat on, a big no-no.

A $100,000 no-no.

Urlacher infringed on the NFL's deal with the almighty Gatorade on the biggest stage of them all. As the report notes, it would have been just $10,000 if this so-called issue went down during the regular season. 

Let's be honest—odds are neither Urlacher or Vitaminwater cared much about the fine given the amount of publicity the company received thanks to the fine in the first place.

Andray Blatche Celebrates on the Bench

Professional athletes grabbing at an area below the belt in celebration isn't anything new. 

Marshawn Lynch did it. So did Kobe Bryant.

Add Andray Blatche to the list. The Brooklyn Nets big man could be seen on the sideline celebrating a big shot by Joe Johnson doing what has become known as the Sam Cassell dance.

For Blatche, who wasn't even on the court and hardly in the broadcast shot, the homage to Cassell cost him $15,000.

Worth it? Absolutely.

Marshawn Lynch Ignores the Media

Ted S. Warren/Associated Press

The NFL's silly rule about players talking to the media used Lynch, formerly of the Seattle Seahawks, as a personal ATM.

Lynch had been hit with fines passing the six-figure mark for his reluctance to talk to the media, leading to the whole "I'm just about that action, boss" thing everyone loves to quote.

No chance Lynch cares much about the fines. He's a quiet guy.

It's true a portion of Lynch's contract deals with speaking to the media. But there are only so many eye-rolling renditions of "Are you excited for Sunday?" and "How did you prepare?" questions people will want to read, anyway. Keep in mind NFL coaches tell their players to be as secretive as possible.

Sure, reporters have a job to do and Lynch allegedly made it harder. But not really—thanks to Lynch, reporters wound up with more to write about than they would have asking the vanilla stuff.

Inaction was Lynch's choice of action with the media, and the fines weren't much to a boss.

Tiger Woods Blasts Himself in Explicit Fashion

Video contains profanity.

It takes a borderline-crazy, obsessed person to reach the upper echelons of a professional sport.

Considering how far ahead of the competition Tiger Woods was during his prime, it only makes sense a broadcast would pick him up cussing and berating himself for bad shots every now and then.

Believe it or not, Woods is still human like the rest of us. He wasn't the first to cuss while chipping away shots in a supreme game of patience and skill.

So yeah, Woods slipped up. Seeing as he's one of the most popular figures in the world, cameras were bound to pick up a swear or two because he was the one everyone wanted to see. It might as well have been Woods on the course by himself during those broadcasts.

There was even a joke among players that the PGA Tour had personal access to a Woods account in order to withdraw his fines. So no, the fines didn't hurt him much.

Spurs Rest Senior Citizens to NBA's Disapproval

Chris Szagola/Associated Press

When Tim Duncan played with the San Antonio Spurs alongside Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker, they weren't the old guys in sweatpants balling out at the YMCA or anything, but they were old.

Seriously, this article detailing a fine in which commissioner David Stern said the Spurs "did a disservice to the league and our fans" also calls the Spurs an "aging team that could use more time off."

The article's date? December 2012.

Kidding aside, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich sent some of his older players home near the end of a road trip to get them some extra rest and apparently didn't inform the NBA or opposing Miami Heat in enough time.

The Association issued a $250,000 fine.

We're talking a quarter-milly here, and still, it's hard to imagine the Spurs much cared. The organization has been a mainstay for what seems like forever and knows what it is doing. 

Chad Johnson's Career

David Kohl/Associated Press

Chad Johnson is a legend in the realm of fines.

Name it and Johnson has likely done it. While playing for the Cincinnati Bengals and others, Johnson was a touchdown machine who liked to celebrate just as much.

Over at Spotrac, the fines section lists several items totaling more than $100,000, including these gems:

• Wearing gold cleats against Pittsburgh
• Wearing a sombrero after scoring a TD against Detroit
• Taking a dollar bill onto the field during an official review
• Wearing the wrong-colored chin strap

Johnson is the guy who set up a bank account with six figures in funds to pay celebration fines, per NFL.com.

"I play to have fun," Johnson said. "I don't play for the dollar amount. Maybe that's why they take so much money, because they think we play for the money. Maybe they'll get the point -- I play to have fun, not for the money."

That, folks, is how it's done.

Antonio Brown's "Nothing to a Boss"

Jared Wickerham/Associated Press

Now for the man who inspired the whole thing, taking after the legend on the next slide. 

Brown recently got hit with an unsportsmanlike flag for twerking in the end zone, or what Brown called "Boomin." For those wondering, it was the third gyration that got Brown fined by the league, as Denver Broncos wideout Emmanuel Sanders did it a week later with two pumps and escaped punishment.

As for the fines themselves (he also got hit in the wallet for wearing blue cleats), Brown described them as "nothing to a boss," according to ESPN.com's Jeremy Fowler.

To his credit, Brown tried to abide by the two-pump rule a few weeks later and got flagged anyway.

Odds are Brown won't stop, especially now that there hasn't been any consistency from officials. Either way, future fines won't slow his roll, either.

Straight Cash, Homey

The legend himself, Randy Moss, started this all a long time ago.

NFL fans will remember when Moss decided to fake moon the crowd at Lambeau Field. Doesn't seem so crazy now, but back then, faking such a thing was abhorrent, unheard of.

Not for a boss like Moss. A reporter caught up with one of the greatest receivers to lace up his cleats and asked him how he pays the fines.

Straight Cash, Homey, was born.

It's the OG version of nothing to a boss. The video went viral (a new thing for its time), teams became stricter about media access to players and, wildly enough, Moss got traded to the Oakland Raiders about a month later.

It all worked out for Moss, who played several seasons in Oakland before joining the New England Patriots for a few solid years. More importantly, Moss was a pioneer for future athletes like Brown who scoff in the face of fines while playing a game they love. 

Follow Chris Roling (@Chris_Roling) on Twitter.