Old-School Sports One-Liners Social Media Would Have Loved

Social media just loves to take a story and run with it. Trending topics, breaking news, hot sound bites—all can expand with the quickness of wildfire thanks to the Internet.

And yet, social media wasn't around until the 2000s and didn't really take off until the 2010s. Twitter launched in 2006, but sports people were spouting notable and outrageous one-liners long before then.

Ric Flair's "woo!" and Allen Iverson's "practice" have become the stuff of legends. Take a look at those and a few more memorable one-liners from before the social media boom. Some are humorous, some are a bit more serious, but all would have made a splash on the Interweb.

In fact, many have made a splash, despite originating pre-2006. The retrospective power of the Internet is impressive, but just imagine if any of these lines were uttered in 2016—how would social media react? Good or bad, folks would certainly start talking.

And yes, Muhammad Ali will, of course, be represented.

Honorable Mention: The Classics

This is not meant to be merely a compilation of sports' most famous one-liners, but it would be a mistake to leave a few of those out. Therefore, here are the honorable mentions.

Despite being uttered pre-Twitter, each has certainly gotten its fair share of Internet coverage in hindsight:

• Jim Mora: "Playoffs?" (2001)
• Herm Edwards: "You play to win the game." (2002)
• Joe Namath: "I wanna kiss you." (2003)

Charles Barkley, "I Used to Be a Chippendale"

Charles Barkley is a sound-bite machine—he was back in his NBA playing days, and he still is as a TNT analyst.

One of his best one-liners came in 1997 as he answered a question about his age. A then-34-year-old Barkley said, "I used to be a Chippendale. Now I'm a Clydesdale," much to the delight of the reporters, per Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle.

Oh the memes that would have come from that one. At minimum, there would have been a lot of tears-of-joy emojis.

Shannon Sharpe, "Would I Pick Him Up? No"

Before Twitter, athletes had to air out their beefs the old-fashioned way: in television interviews.

That's just what happened leading up to Super Bowl XXXIII in 1999 between then-Atlanta Falcons cornerback Ray Buchanan and then-Denver Broncos tight end Shannon Sharpe.

The two hurled insults at each other through the media. Sharpe went as far as to say, per Ken Murray and Vito Stellino of the Baltimore Sun, "If I see Ray in a snowstorm and his truck is broken down and mine is running perfect, would I pick him up? No."

It was a little like Richard Sherman's "sorry receiver like Crabtree" line, no?

James Toney, "Burger King!"

Remember when former Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning won Super Bowl 50 and then plugged Budweiser like it was his job?

Well, James Toney was the Manning of Burger King. After he defeated Mike McCallum in 1992, Toney said he wanted to celebrate with some fast food.

Specifically, he said, per Sarah Kurchak of Vice Sports, "My birthday was Monday, and now I feel like I could go home and enjoy it with some Burger King. Here I come, baby! Burger King! Burger King! And shout out to Bob Arum 'cause he's my man! Don King, kiss my ass!"

Yes, just yes.

Steffi Graf, "How Much Money Do You Have?"

The concept of an athlete actually responding to an in-game marriage proposal seems unlikely nowadays.

In 1996, however, tennis great Steffi Graf did just that with a hilarious one-liner.

During a Wimbledon semifinal matchup, one admirer yelled from the stands, "Steffi, will you marry me?"

Graf smiled and responded from the court, "How much money do you have?"

Later, she quipped, "I lost the game, so I think I'll ask for a divorce now," per Robin Finn of the New York Times.

She did go on to win the tournament.

Kellen Winslow "I'm a F--kin' Soldier!"

Former NFL tight end Kellen Winslow's famous "I'm a f--kin' soldier" line would have spread like wildfire on social media today.

Instead, it was just before Twitter's time, in 2003, that Winslow used the line in response to a question about whether he taunted an injured opponent.

Winslow, then with the University of Miami, said, "It's war. They're out there to kill you, so I'm out there to kill them. We don't care about anybody but this U. They're going after my legs. I'm going to come right back at them. I'm a f--kin' soldier," per the Associated Press (via ESPN.com).

Winslow later apologized for his comments and any offense he might have caused to members of the U.S. armed forces.

Lee MacPhail on the Famous Yankees Pitcher Life Swap

Joe Migon/Associated Press

In 1973, New York Yankees pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson orchestrated one of the most bizarre stories in sports history—they played out a real-life version of Wife Swap.

The two announced the switch—more accurately a "life-swap," Peterson told Les Bowen of the Daily News in 1988—via separate press conferences at spring training in 1973.

Any snippet from either presser likely would have broken the Internet today. Can you imagine, for instance, Chicago Cubs pitchers Jake Arrieta and Jon Lester holding pressers to announce they've literally switched lives?

And yet, perhaps the best one-liner came from then-Yankees general manager Lee MacPhail. He said, per Bowen, "We may have to call off Family Day."

Ba-dum-ch.

Allen Iverson, "We Talking About Practice"

Sick of the Allen Iverson "practice" rant yet? Nope? OK, good.

Iverson's famous press conference has made plenty of Internet rounds despite happening in 2002, two years before Facebook and four before Twitter.

The main takeaway from the presser was the utterance of the word "practice" a staggering 22 times.

In 2016, #Practice would have been trending before Iverson was finished talking. The whole thing was very Marshawn Lynch, "I'm just here so I won't get fined" esque.

In hindsight, however, Iverson's rant provides an important reminder about context. According to Not A Game by Kent Babb (via Matt Walks of ESPN.com), some in the media believed Iverson was intoxicated at the time of the comments, and he was also experiencing a personal loss.

Patrick Roy, "I Got My Two Stanley Cup Rings Plugged in My Ears"

This sports one-liner is one of the great all-time burns.

Jeremy Roenick (then with the Chicago Blackhawks) and Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) were ribbing each other back and forth in the media during the 1996 Western Conference Semifinal.

Roy dropped the mic hard on Roenick when he said, "I can't really hear what Jeremy says, because I got my two Stanley Cup rings plugged in my ears," per Adrian Dater of the Denver Post.

Roenick almost certainly would have gotten the Crying Jordan treatment, or something similar, these days. Right?

John Chaney, "I'll Kill You!"

This should be prefaced with the fact that no one was actually hurt here, and the two parties involved have since appeared to make up.

And yet, can you imagine one coach yelling at another, "I'll kill you," during a press conference in the Internet era?

That's exactly what happened in 1994. Despite a 56-55 win over Temple, then-Massachusetts basketball coach John Calipari still found time to complain about the officiating.

This displeased then-Temple basketball coach John Chaney, who, uh, lost his cool during the postgame presser.

Years later, the two posed for an Instagram photo together, so all is well.

Muhammad Ali, "If That's Good, I'm That"

Many Muhammad Ali quotes would have broken the Internet today. The legendary boxer's brash confidence and poetic style were one of a kind.

For now, however, let's just go with two memorable one-liners—one humorous and one as serious as they come.

First, the humorous. Howard Cosell once told Ali he was being "extremely truculent," to which Ali replied, "Whatever truculent means, if that's good, I'm that," per Jon Saraceno of USA Today.

Absolutely classic.

Truculent, by the way, means "fierce; cruel; savagely brutal," per Dictionary.com.

Muhammad Ali, "Just Take Me to Jail"

(Warning: Strong language in video)

Many of Muhammad Ali's memorable achievements happened outside the boxing ring. For instance, he was a passionate social and religious activist throughout his life.

In 1967, Ali refused to fight in the Vietnam War, citing religious beliefs, and he lost three of his prime boxing years as a result.

At the time, Ali spoke about why he refused to fight. He said in one interview, in part, "How can I shoot those poor people? Just take me to jail," per Michael Powell of the New York Times.

"Just take me to jail"—imagine an athlete saying that today on the foundation of his personal beliefs.

Lee Elia's Rant (NSFW)

Anyone who has heard the famous rant of former Chicago Cubs manager Lee Elia knows it is absolutely, 100 percent NSFW.

Elia was upset after a loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in April 1983 that put his team's record at 5-14.

Evident throughout a storm of profanity was Elia's main grievance—anger toward the fans for a perceived lack of support.

Among other things, he suggested fans in attendance should "get a f--kin' job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a f--kin' living," per Barry Petchesky of Deadspin (also, big shock, NSFW).

Can you imagine this happening today, in the Internet age? Job retention seems unlikely.

John McEnroe, "You Cannot Be Serious!"

John McEnroe, winner of seven Grand Slams, has a famous temper.

In 1984, he disagreed with an umpire during a first-round match at Wimbledon. "You cannot be serious!" he yelled, and just like that, the fiery one-liner became the stuff of sports-tantrum legend.

The quote itself isn't overly shocking, but it was more in the delivery. Serena Williams' U.S. Open tirade in 2011 was mildly reminiscent of McEnroe, but even that didn't have quite the same punch.

McEnroe went on to win the tournament, so the call didn't exactly cost him.

Ric Flair, "Holdin' These Alligators Down..."

WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair said a lot of outrageous stuff throughout his career, not a small percentage of which included the word "woo!"

His WWE bio reads, in part, "Such an animated performer like Ric Flair can't be encapsulated in words. He's a man of vibrant actions and endless sound bites."

True to form, this entire video could be parsed into outrageous, Internet-breaking one-liners. Though a favorite is hard to choose, let's go with, "I'm having a hard time holdin' these alligators down…woo!"

Also, did he say "intensified beef products" at the 3:12 mark? That's a trending hashtag waiting to happen.

Mike Tyson, "I Want to Eat His Children"

Going out on a limb here—an on-air threat of cannibalism would likely make the Internet melt in 2016.

In 2000, Mike Tyson defeated Lou Savarese in less than a minute. Afterward, he spoke to Jim Gray about his desire to fight then-heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis.

There was a lot of talk about Tyson's own greatness, but the real takeaway was this, per Nick Schwartz of For the Win: "I want your heart; I want to eat his children."

In 2014, Tyson admitted to regretting the comments during a Reddit AMA.