Eric Mangini Overseeing an Abysmal Mess in Cleveland

Okay, I'm finally done with my so-called day job deadline so I can now truly reflect on the abysmal mess that head coach Eric Mangini has created with the once-proud Cleveland Browns.

Ironically, the imposters, the mismatched retreads, and rookies we call the New Browns are going to Baltimore to play The Real Browns, now called the Ravens.

But being from Cleveland, I’ll watch the game with my eyes partially closed, amidst the usual f-bombs, moans, screeches, and objects thrown.

To Jrod: Yeah, the first two weeks have flown by fast. Unfortunately, the season, after two games, seems on a runaway elevator catapulting down to the basement.

First and foremost: Mangini is a madman, a paranoid schizophrenic who talked Randy Lerner into this gig.

It is like having your hometown ruled by a crazed dictator who charges players $1,700 for a failing to pay for a bottle of water. He talks a lot and says nothing, still refuses to discuss injuries, and totally f-ed up Brady Quinn by never naming him as starting QB. (Spies are out there, listening, ready to steal our playbooks.)

Moreover, he forced Quinn to change his stance and methodically check off, resulting in a QB who is caught holding the ball too long and who has gotten sacked nine times so far.

Not only does Mangini demand the team march in lockstep, he has the players memorizing impossible schemes that won’t work because he allowed choice draft picks to be drafted so he could get twice as many has-beens, especially from his old team, the New York Jets, who are all in hog heaven under the affable Rex Ryan.

I would name the ex-Jets has-beens who now wear Browns uniforms, but I just can’t remember their names.

Here is the reverse logic of Mangini’s Day at the Draft last April: I will let Mark Sanchez go and pass on Ray Maualuga to let him haunt us from Cincy. I believe we also had a shot at getting Clay Mathews Jr. (His old man probably told the kid he was lucky not to be in Cleveland.)

First draft pick: Alex Mack, who sometimes has a hard time at center getting the football into Quinn’s hands instead of over his head or rolling on the turf. In the second round, rookie receivers Masaaquoi and Robiskie were chosen. But now Mangini doesn’t want to play them for some reason. Maybe they talked back to Coach, or worse, forgot to pay for a Pepsi—who knows?

About the only thing Brady Quinn has going for him is that Braylon Edwards is catching the ball again (although he will not fight for the ball, wrench it out of a defender’s arms, etc.).

Brian Dabold, the brand spanking new offensive coordinator, has Brady Quinn posing like Tom Brady, calling signals as he lifts his foot, jerking his head right and left—which looks good until the snap goes awry.

As Quinn’s credence as a quarterback falls lower each day (at least on Cleveland sports radio), Quinn himself has to do something about it: audiblize, do play action, run, something. Forget the meetingspeak crap and just try to win the game. (You’re gonna get yelled at on the sidelines anyway, why not make it count?)

Bill Curry, former center for Johnny Unitas, said that if a teammate ran the wrong route, he would order him out of the huddle and call for a replacement.

Football is different these days. It is rare for a QB to call his own plays. Quinn has got to step up and show he does have the cojones to risk an interception, to run out of the pocket, to dive for a first down, to change a play in the huddle.

Maybe the Browns won’t win the game Sunday (gee, you think?), but Quinn could orchestrate a few more first downs to give the defense time to catch its collective breath before facing Flacco and Co.

With so many things going against them—along with a continuous heap of bad luck—it is doubtful the Browns will contend any time soon.

A 21-point underdog this Sunday? That seems about right.

After two games and one offensive touchdown so far this season, the year 2007—dubbed by local radio personalities as “The Season of Dreams”—is fading into obscurity.

It seems now that the fabled 10-6 season was not a turn in the right direction. It was just a blip amidst 10 years of bad teams.