The College Football Report: Week Three in Review

Patrick Wayne Swayze bowed from the stage last week at the age of 57. I would like to dedicate this week’s Report to the departed.

Here’s a recap of Week Three, punctuated by some of Swayze’s best lines. I’d like to think he would get a kick out of it.

Thursday, Sept. 17

No. 14 Georgia Tech 17 @ No. 20 Miami 33 (-4)

What was supposed to happen?

The betting public showed some confidence in Georgia Tech. The point spread crept up to -5.5 before a late rush for the underdog Yellow Jackets pushed the number down to -4. Yet in the pregame coverage, no one seemed to have an adequate answer to a basic question: What will Georgia Tech do if forced to throw the ball? 

What actually happened?

For Miami QB Jacory Harris: “You are one radical son of a bitch!”—Bodhi, Point Break 

Jacory earned ACC Offensive Back of the Week honors (again) after winning the award against FSU in Week One. If he wins the Heisman—a possibility if he keeps this up, because voters will tire of Tim Tebow, et al.—Harris claims he would like to wear a pink suit to accept the trophy.

Georgia Tech stayed in the game for much of the first half, but Harris calmly stood in the pocket delivering bombs. Meanwhile, Tech QB Josh Nesbitt couldn’t keep up. Setting aside a meaningless late TD pass, Nesbitt went 5-of-14 for 77 yards. The linemen on both sides of the ball for The U deserve some credit as well.

I imagine the tape from this game will cause heartburn in Blacksburg this week.

Friday, Sept. 18

No. 10 Boise State 51 (-8.5) @ Fresno State 34

What was supposed to happen?

The Report figured out this game, but we weren’t alone. Boise went off a full point higher than the midweek spread. A team not typically known for defensive prowess, the Broncos had limited Oregon’s offense and looked to bottle up Fresno as well.

What actually happened?

I stopped watching this game in disgust. The teams combined for nearly one thousand yards of offense, and there were five scoring plays of 60 yards or more. I like scoring as much as the next guy, but that is ridiculous.

“Well pumpkins, it comes down to that age-old decision: style...or...substance?”—Vida Boheme, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Saturday, Sept. 19

Tennessee 13 @ No. 1 Florida 23 (-30)

What was supposed to happen? 

Lane “Kid Smirk” Kiffin started taking shots at Florida within days of accepting the UT top spot. Florida’s head coach Urban Meyer, not a bastion of sportsmanship himself, has been known to run up a score or two. And this is The Year of the Quarterback...

What actually happened?

Opinions differ. But the game was a dud. Tim Tebow stubbed his immortal toe, throwing for 115 yards, an interception, and no touchdowns. Tennessee ran the ball repeatedly while trailing late in the game, opening the door to less than flattering post-game analysis by Meyer and others.

In response to his own critics, the Florida head coach claimed that flu-like symptoms limited many of his top playmakers. 

Urban, this one is for you: "YOU SHUT UP! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING YOU STICK UP FOR HIM! YOU HEAR ME?"—Darrel Curtis, The Outsiders

For the week ending Sept. 12, the CDC reported “widespread” influenza activity in Florida. Across the Southeast, the Influenza Illness Surveillance Network (ILINET, replacing Skynet as my new favorite network) showed that out of all outpatient visits, flu-like illnesses represented nearly eight percent.

The 2009 SEC season, brought to you by H1N1...!

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