Life In The Busch League: Miami Dolphins Edition

On Monday Night Football, in front of the whole country, the Miami Dolphins found themselves with a perfect opportunity to fix their season.

They took the lead on a Carpenter field goal with only 3:50 left to play. The defense was fresh and had seen about 14 minutes of action. Four plays, 80 yards and 32 second, later, the Dolphins found themselves trailing by four.

Armed with ample time and facing a depleted defense that had already played 42 minutes in the sweltering Miami heat, the Dolphins' offense took the field looking only for a touchdown on their final drive.

Here's how it happened.

Colts 27, Dolphins 23, First down, 3:13 left, Ball at the Colts 17

A slow handoff to Ronnie Brown who fights for a yard. After the play, Miami huddles up for what seems like forever. At this point I'm wondering if it's one of those times that felt like a while because of the beer, but in reality is only a few seconds. It wasn't; 39 seconds later Miami calls timeout.

2nd and 9, 2:26 left

Miami again slowly hands off to Brown for five yards. He is tackled at 2:20. Miami attempts to get another play off, but is moving at a sloth-like pace. They just used a timeout, but look totally unprepared for the next play.

If you run the ball from your own 18 without a lot of time left and the two minute warning approaching, you better have a plan for the following play. Instead, the Phins waste a total of 73 seconds, a timeout AND the two minute warning, just to run the ball twice up the middle. Who is calling these plays?

3rd and 4, 2:00 left

Play action pass up the middle (are they really going to run it again?) to Ginn to the Miami 34.

1st and 10, 1:38 left

Pennington throws to Ginn again outside. He steps out at the Miami 45.

2nd and 9, 1:33 left

Screen pass to Fasano who fails to get out of bounds. A two-yard gain and a first down are hardly worth 22 seconds when you are still on your side of the field needing a touchdown.

1st and 10, 1:11 left

Pennington drops back looking for the deep ball and is stripped. The Dolphins recover with 1:06 left on the clock. They call timeout with 56 seconds left despite a Colts player being injured downfield.

The football fan in me is literally laughing right now. So far, in what is clearly the definitive drive of the game, Miami has consumed two timeouts, the two minute warning, and two minutes (two thirds of their time) despite only running six plays. They have moved the ball a total of 18 yards of the 83 they need.

What's even odder is that they have only run one really bad play. Sure, Fasano could have got out of bounds and sure, a run could have broken free, but Ronnie Brown gaining six yards on two carries isn't that abnormal. Pennington completed all thee of his passes even. It's like they aren't even trying to get to the other end zone.

2nd and 20, 0:56 left

Miami calls the play action pass...obviously the defense is going to bite this time. Pennington avoids the pass rush and finds Devon Bess in between the zone on the left sideline for 19 yards. Aside from the pointless play action this is a nicely-executed play and clearly a better call than the run.

3rd and 1, 0:51 left, Ball at the Colts 46.

Pennington sneaks it up the middle for a gain of four. The clock continues to wind down.

1st and 10, 0:36 left, ball at the Colts 42

Pennington spikes the ball.

To quote the announcer, who literally made me laugh out loud, "Pennington's got to get up and get moving. This is the slowest two minute drill I have ever seen. Guys, I don't know.I mean, just...(makes choking noise)..."

2nd and 10, 0:36 left

This is the only real chance Miami gives itself. Pennington manages to find man coverage on Ginn in the middle of the end zone. He gets two hands on it, but is unable to hold on.

3rd and 10, 0:27 left

Miami throws a real nothing pass outside to a double-covered Ginn. This was a desperate play, as he intentionally threw it so nobody would have a chance to catch it. Why do that here?

4th and 10, 0:22 left

Ginn catches a ball up the middle at the thirty. Miami has no timeouts left so they hurry to the line of scrimmage and throw the ball down leaving them with one final heave.

1st and 10, 0:06 left, ball at the Colts 30

Chad tosses it into a mass of Colts and it's picked off, ending one of the oddest and most hilarious (for Colts fans at least) final drives in recent memory.

This was a game Miami had to win. The loss moves them to 0-2 and puts them in sole possession of last place in the AFC east. It's also a momentum killer, as they came into the season with reasonably high expectations.

At this point things look pretty bleak in Miami. They don't have a young promising QB on the roster. Their passing offense has no real potential and their defense no guts (sorry but that last stand was pathetic). Their offense is a gimmick. If Ronnie Brown gets hurt they won't have a leg to stand on.

Furthermore, they head to San Diego next week to play a team regarded as one of the Superbowl favorites. I'm not one to call it before the fat lady sings, but a third consecutive loss would essentially end their season.

A best case scenario for a team built like the Dolphins is similar to last season. If they can't pull out the close games this year, we might be looking at a worst case scenario which could look similar to the 1-15 team in 2007.

Finally, the final drive showed me that their coaching staff is not as good as advertised. When is the last time you saw Bellicheat make so many mental errors in crunch time? Sporano didn't give his team a chance to win.

That's why the Dolphins are my Busch League team of the week.