Recent Uniform Disasters

Uniforms have been around as long as organized sports, which is more than enough time to get it right. Even without knowing the exact time frame, we’re talking no less than 100 years. An actual century. 

Yet, for some reason, when it comes to uniform updates or redesigns, teams seem to get it wrong more often than they get it right. Probably because desperate money grabs have nothing to do with putting out a quality product. 

Sports history is littered with crimes against fashion. Here are a few of the latest.

Chicago Bulls

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No matter how they mixed and matched their classic red, black and white jerseys, the Bulls really couldn’t go wrong. That is, until they started mixing things up a bit with the relatively new alternate sleeved uniforms.

These abominations come in both gray and black, and they’re both terrible. Although the recently debuted gray uni is called "Chicago Pride," it's not been well-received by Chicagoans. 

Chicago White Sox

Dubbed “MLB’s most infamous uniform” by Rolling Stone, the White Sox debuted a new uniform in 1976 that consisted of a weird collared T-shirt jersey and a pair of shorts. That’s right! The White Sox were the first and only major league team to have worn shorts in a game.

Apparently they were just one of many weird stunts new ownership unleashed that year to increase attendance. The cartoonishly stupid navy shorts only lasted three games, but the jerseys were around through 1981. 

Perhaps inspired by the abject and unending futility of yesteryear, the current White Sox, who have reached the postseason just once in the last 10 years, decided 2015 was the year to bring back the mistakes of the past—perhaps to distract from the mistakes of the present. In August, they brought back the “pajama style” jerseys, but mercifully decided not to resurrect the shorts. 

Pro Bowl Makeover

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Until 2013, the NFL had always gone with some sort of red, white and blue design for the Pro Bowl uniforms. They weren’t particularly imaginative, but they were adequately contrasting and comfortably familiar. 

Then Nike got their hands on the uniforms and completely...Oregonized them. In January, The Big Lead's Ty Duffy astutely noted their resemblance to energy drink cans, which you will now forever associate with the NFL’s most useless game. 

Chris Christie

Over the summer, former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani and New Jersey governor Chris Christie were among the many celebrities that participated in a charity softball event staged by the Boomer & Carton Show. They both looked more than a little awkward in the uniforms.

Please note this is not meant to be a personal jab at Christie’s weight, but rather a visual demonstrating just how inhumane it is for men of a certain age to be forced into baseball uniforms. MLB needs to take a cue from any other sports league and let their managers dress like grownups.

Boston Celtics

In November 2014, the Celtics revealed an alternate uniform they dubbed “Parquet Pride.” To say they didn’t go over well would be quite the understatement. Let’s take a look at a few headlines from the reveal to take the temperature of the room: 

• Yahoo: The Boston Celtics’ new sleeved jerseys are not very attractive
• Slam Online: Boston Celtics to Wear These Ugly Alternate Uniforms 
• SB Nation: The Celtics unveil hideous grey, sleeved uniforms 
• Boston.com: Celtics Unveil Their New Uniforms, and Damn, What Were They Thinking?
• CBS Sports: The new Celtics uniforms are a crime against humanity 

LeBron James Reviews

The NBA’s experiment with sleeved jerseys has been polarizing. While they’ve proved wildly popular among fans, commissioner Adam Silver has actually been considering scrapping them because they’ve been met with near universal disdain from players. 

They certainly do not have the endorsement of the league’s biggest name, LeBron James. The Cavaliers superstar recently ripped the sleeves off his jersey during a game. James said the show of frustration was because his rhythm was off, but it definitely didn’t read as a show of support. 

NFL Color Rush

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In November, the NFL debuted the first in a series of “Color Rush” jerseys during a Thursday Night Football game between the Buffalo Bills and New York Jets. For most of us, the aggressive red-green color scheme was just unpleasant, but for an unfortunate minority (about 8 percent) it was a much bigger issue. Let’s let the NFL explain (via CBS Sports' John Breech) exactly what went wrong that fateful Thursday night: 

"

The Color Rush jerseys are a test for four games this season, the first of which was last night. We did test the jerseys this summer on field and on television. The standard television test did not account for color blindness for fans at home that became apparent last night. We will enhance our testing to include a color blindness analysis to better address this issue in the future.

"

Jacksonville Jaguars' Color Rush

Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

As if the colorblind “Color Rush” boondoggle wasn’t bad enough, somehow the NFL managed to double down on ugly with the Jaguars uniforms that debuted a week later. 

We went from something that looked like it was pulled from a Christmas party to something that looks like it was pulled from a diaper. 

Kansas Jayhawks

This one goes back a little further than the rest of the list, but the “Crimson Chrome” uniforms revealed by Kansas University in August 2014 were disastrous enough to warrant stretching the traditional boundaries of the word “recent.” Nothing about these things were well-received, but there’s a possibility opinions were influenced by the overwhelming wretchedness of KU’s football program. 

Although one outlet called the look “spectacular,” that was anything but the consensus. They were also called “gimmicky,” “ridiculous,” “ugly,” “outrageous” (in a bad way), “awful” and the “worst in college football.” Most brutal of all came courtesy of The Big Lead’s Ty Duffy, who said the look “screams desperation.” Yikes. 

Atlanta Hawks

Over the summer, the Hawks unveiled new triangle-heavy neon uniforms. Apparently they had players provide design input, clearly a mistake that every owner in the NBA will be sure not to repeat in the future. The reaction was largely negative, with headlines really keying in on the brightness: 

• Yahoo: The Hawks' new uniforms are here, with triangles and ‘volt green’ for all 
• USA Today: The new Atlanta Hawks uniforms are unapologetically neon 
• CBS Sports: Here are the Hawks’ new, crazy, neon jerseys 
• Washington Post: Atlanta Hawks’ new uniforms are really bright and kind of unpopular 
• Sporting News: Hawks fans revolt over new uniform design 

Oregon Ducks

Given that the Oregon football team never wears the same uniform twice, it’s perfectly understandable that all the uniforms can’t be winners. For every “Apple Green” success there’s at least one “Human Highlighter” debacle. 

That being said, nothing will ever top the sheer ridiculousness of the glow-in-the-dark uniforms the Ducks teased over the summer. So far it seems they were just messing with us, but who would be surprised if they show up wearing these at some point? Nobody? OK then.