Sundays From the Cellar – Week 2

Documenting the unenviable chore that is following the worst team in the NFL, the St. Louis Rams. 

Record: 0-2

Sunday’s Inevitable Outcome: Washington 9, St. Louis 7

Recap: The Rams returned to the nation’s capital – the site that was home to 50% of their 2008 victories - to take on the Washington Redskins and their likely-to-be-unemployed-in-2010 coach, Jim Zorn.  Despite the defense holding the Skins offense without a touchdown, the Rams offense was just bad enough to overcome the effort of their plucky teammates and squeak out a 2-point loss to maintain their status as the worst team in the NFL. 

Week 2 Viewing Strategy – Bet the Under
For reasons unbeknowst to this fan, the Vegas oddsmakers had the over/under for this game versus the Rams and Redskins at 37.  How in God’s name they felt that two teams quarterbacked by Marc Bulger and Jason Campbell were going to combine for 37 points is beyond me, but I happily took the under.  The general viewing strategy on this day was to force the futility of the Rams offense to inadvertantly benefit me, without totally selling out and flat betting on them to lose.   ###MORE###

Fun with Richie Incognito’s Name…
Being the worst team in the league means that the lowest level of announcers are going to repeatedly call the games.  As is commonplace for those analysts on the bottom rung of the totem pole, the site of the Rams offensive guard Richie Incognito’s last name leads them to believe they are first to find a way to use it in a clever pun.  Exhibit A from Fox’s Tim Ryan:

“He is far from Incognito” – Tim Ryan

Keep ‘em coming, Tim.

Offensive “Ram” of the Week – Donnie Avery
The game ball for the player most symbolic of the Rams offense this week was second year wide receiver Donnie Avery.  Avery, whom the Rams drafted before DeSean Jackson in 2008, was essentially non-existant the majority of the game until it came time for him to do his part to ensure another loss.  With the Rams driving down inside the Redskins red zone trailing by two points in the fourth quarter, Avery grabbed a ball from Marc Bulger at the 5-yard line.  Not satisfied with the potential field goal to give his team the lead, Avery turned to push for an extra yard when he was drilled by Skins safety Chris Horton, popping the ball loose to be recovered by Washington.  Zero points. 

Stat Showing Just How Bad the Rams Offense Is…
Marc Bulger and the Rams passing attack racked up 119 total passing yards on Sunday.  Philip Rivers and the Chargers had 137 yards on their first seven attempts in their game versus Baltimore. 

Defensive “Ram” of the Week – Chris Long
2008 2nd overall pick went for 5 total tackles, 1 solo tackle, 0 sacks, 0 tackles for loss, 0 quarterback hurries, pretty much zero impact on the game in any way, shape or form. 

Stat Showing Just How Bad The Rams Defense Is…
In two games this season, opposing quarterbacks have attempted 78 passes and the entire Rams defense has one sack.  On Sunday, Cincinnati Bengals defensive end Atwan Odom had five sacks by himself. 

The Moment of Doubt
Up 9-7 with 1:55 to go, the Redskins had the ball 4th and 1 inside the Rams’ five-yard line and chose to bypass the field goal for a chance to put the game away. Given the quality of the Rams defensive line, it appeared as if a simple Clinton Portis running play up the gut would result in an insurmountable 16-7 deficit.  In a significant deviation from the norm, the Rams defense buckled down and got a rare stop, putting them in a position where a Josh Brown field goal wins the game. With momentum in their corner, could the Rams possibly put together a 70-yard drive to win the game similar to their surprise win in Washington last season?

The Moment of Truth
Fueled by their defensive stop and poised for a dramatic drive to victory with just under 2:00 to go, down by two points, the Rams offense took the field…and promptly threw four straight incompletions.  Ballgame. 

Next Week: vs. Green Bay (1-1)

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