NFL Week 3: Mike Tanier's Game Previews and Score Predictions

Week 3 of the 2015 season finds many top contenders—some surging, others struggling—enjoying a much-needed GBW: a glorified bye week.

The Seahawks get to reintegrate Kam Chancellor and iron out the wrinkles in their system while the Bears cower in a corner of CenturyLink Stadium. The Colts can take time out from battling themselves to put the Titans in their place. The Patriots don't really need a GBW, but the Jaguars arrive to provide one, anyway.

But games that look like GBWs on the schedule don't always turn out that way. The Eagles thought they would get a papal dispensation against the Jets; now, they are just praying for redemption. The Falcons looked like pushovers on the Cowboys schedule, but they are now the scourge of the NFC East, and the Cowboys are facing a month with no passing game. J.J. Watt will look across the line at Jameis Winston and wonder whether he should sack him or recruit him.

If the GBW games let us down, at least the division rivalries won't. The Bengals and Ravens, Saints and Panthers and Bills and Dolphins all have high stakes on the line: future playoff tiebreakers, the health of their quarterback or their program and the coveted AFC East second-place trophy.

These game previews are listed in the order that you should read them! All times Eastern.

Buffalo Bills (1-1) at Miami Dolphins (1-1), Sunday, 4:25 p.m.

Phelan M. Ebenhack/Associated Press

Second place in the AFC East is more than just a slot in the standings. It's a state of being, like living in mom's basement at age 27 or working in the same windowless cubicle for a decade. It's a festering swamp of unfulfilled ambitions and arrested development.

If there was an AFC East second-place trophy—a buffalo riding atop a plane with a dolphin leaping over it, on a stand inscribed with "Don't worry: Tom Brady will retire someday!"—Rex Ryan and the Dolphins would each have a slew of them. At least Rex would use them as doorstops or paperweights: He always takes his best shot at the Patriots, has scored a few meaningful wins and accepts his losses grudgingly. The Dolphins would proudly display their trophy case. They have been second fiddles so long that they've forgotten that it's not an accomplishment.

Oh sure, the Dolphins broke the bank for Ndamukong Suh, which didn't look like a second-place move until the beads of flop sweat started forming on the team's collective forehead midway through the season opener. The Dolphins news feed is full of Suh talk already: speculation that he should slide around the formation, rumors that he is following his own super-secret playbook, columnists for various papers pumping the brakes on a snowballing "Suh is an overpaid underachiever" narrative.

Suh will be fine, but he represented a costly yet minor upgrade to a defensive line that was already pretty good. The Dolphins, as they have often done during their race to second place, let leaks open up in their secondary, at running back and on the offensive line while they pursued a magic Patriots missile. It's classic second-place thinking: focusing on what's directly in front of you instead of the big picture.

Ryan, meanwhile, has collected ex-Dolphins in an attempt to create an anti-Patriots Bills-Jets-Dolphins Megazord. You saw how that worked out last week. Charles Clay and Richie Incognito return to Miami this week, with Incognito mostly downplaying talk of a revenge game against the team that released him for the 100 percent justifiable reason that he was an inexcusably awful employee. It's always encouraging when one of Ryan's tough-talkers swims past the bait, and the decision to trade away Matt Cassel represents a vote of confidence in Tyrod Taylor and a signal that the Bills won't let their season be defined by a loss to the Patriots.

Two losses to Patriots? Now, that would define their season.

Neither the Bills' nor the Dolphins' fans reacted well to last week's losses. That's what happens when a whole division has been beaten down for so long: The first loss feels like the start of the inevitable. The Dolphins and Bills will try to make a "statement" about bouncing back Sunday, but if they battle to a hard-fought, sweaty, Suh-versus-Incognito extreme wrasslin' bout in the Miami heat, that statement may be "We're No. 2." Or maybe No. 3; the Jets look really good this year.

That's a long way of saying that when the Bills face the Dolphins, the Patriots inevitably win.

Prediction: Bills 27, Dolphins 26

Cincinnati Bengals (2-0) at Baltimore Ravens (0-2), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Donald Trump said this week that he thinks Joe Flacco is an elite quarterback. In related news, the Dalai Lama said that any successor to Andy Dalton would have to be much more attractive.

Second slide, and already with the politics and religion? Well, there's not much else to talk about. As good as the Bengals and Ravens usually are, they are more like two teams with a mutual LinkedIn connection than actual rivals. Without the Steelers to spice things up, Bengals-Ravens just pits the Team That Loses in Prime Time (in an early game this week) against the Team That Loses on the Road (at home).

The Bengals are 10-3 in September since 2012. They opened their season with a win in Baltimore last year, moving on to trounce the Falcons and Titans before traveling to Foxborough with a big ball of confidence and…well, you know.

If you are looking for evidence that this year's Bengals are different, you can point to their 6-to-0 sack differential—both lines are playing extremely well—the blossoming of Tyler Eifert and the overall depth and quality of the skill positions.

If you are looking for evidence that these are the same old Bengals are the same, you can point to the Raiders' nonexistent pass rush, Jeremy Hill's fumbles and the fact that their skill position depth chart looks deep every September but somehow fills up with Greg Little and Dane Sanzenbacher types at crunch time.

The Ravens aren't relying on fresh crab cakes to turn their fortunes around. The team traded for cornerback Will Davis and is getting free-agent pickup Jason Babin ready to replace Terrell Suggs. The Ravens usually comb the failed-prospect-and-veteran-mercenary market for offensive line repairs (Eugene Monroe was the former, Bryant McKinnie the latter), so it's telling that they are hoping their offensive problems solve themselves. The Ravens are trying to solidify their ability to play Ravens football. That involves sacks, field goals and protecting the Inner Harbor like it's the War of 1812.

So which trend do we follow: The Bengals' early-afternoon success or the Ravens' home cooking? When tendencies cancel each other out, go with the deeper, healthier, more balanced team. The Bengals look much better right now, and given the political and spiritual tone of the times, superficiality may actually be a sign of enlightenment.

Prediction: Bengals 26, Ravens 24

Atlanta Falcons (2-0) at Dallas Cowboys (2-0), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Matt Rourke/Associated Press

This week's "Get to Know Brandon Weeden" segment of Game Previews has been augmented with Jerry Jones' homespun aphorisms, which appear in italics. If the country sayings sound a little like labored rejects from a Cracker Barrel menu, well, Jones is a multimillionaire who was born in Los Angeles, so bear with him.

Brandon Weeden is just a fourth-year pro, yet he is 49 days older than Aaron Rodgers, making him older than the spare tire on Pharaoh's chariot. The Browns drafted him 22nd overall in 2012, politely ignoring the fact that he looked as out of place among teenagers as the actors in Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, a television series that's crazier than a razorback hog in a Starbucks!

Weeden went 7-of-7 with a touchdown against the Eagles last week in a game that was uglier than a swamp rat eatin' a crawfish in a mud bog full of stink flies. Weeden specializes in looking good during brief relief stints: He threw a 43-yard touchdown pass at the end of a 42-7 win in his only attempt of the Colts game last year and led a touchdown drive to force overtime against the Redskins when Romo was briefly sidelined in Week 8. The brief surges of competence keep Weeden on rosters; it's a defense mechanism, like a gopher snake makin' like a rattler when he's cornered. Still, the Cowboys hedged their bets and traded for Matt Cassel, whose arm is rustier than the muffler on Cousin Wilbur's Studebaker.

In a league where Josh McCown is handed multiple starting jobs after his 35th birthday and award-winning cable networks film Hoyer-Mallett quarterback competitions, Weeden doesn't really stick out. There are lots of recent draft busts and mediocre old journeymen hanging around NFL benches; Weeden just happens to be both. There are worse backup quarterbacks starting around the league this week.

So while the Falcons may be peskier than a deer tick in a coon hound's ear when facing NFC East teams, the Cowboys are still more talented and experienced on both sides of the ball. For one week at least, Weeden will make Cowboys fans happier than a hornet in a trash can full of chicken bones and empty soda cans, or something like that.

Prediction: Cowboys 24, Falcons 20

Philadelphia Eagles (0-2) at New York Jets (2-0), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Rich Schultz/Getty Images

The Eagles practiced at Monmouth University this week, clearing out of town before Pope Francis' weekend arrival in Philadelphia. Because every highway and bridge between the Jersey Shore and Amish Country is closed for security reasons and locals need Casablanca-level letters of transit to run to the corner Wawa, Eagles fans didn't have much else to do this week except give themselves a little of that old-time religion:

"

In a darkened confessional somewhere in South Philly…

EAGLES FAN: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I used the Lord's name in vain about 6,000 times during last week's loss to the Cowboys.

FATHER SEAMUS PESCATALLIRCO: You and me both. Those were simply cries of anguish. What else troubles you my son?

EAGLES FAN: I think I have lost my faith in Chip Kelly.

FATHER: The loss of faith is a serious matter.

EAGLES FAN: If only he would give us a sign: an actual option play, maybe, or some effort to slow things down when the defense is obviously ready to keel over after four straight three-and-outs.

FATHER: Ask not for signs, my son. Did Chip Kelly not give you a playoff appearance in his first season? Ten wins last year? A national championship game appearance at Oregon? These are all the signs you need.

EAGLES FAN: But…I found myself jealous of Jets fans last night. Can you imagine? I dreamed of that great secondary, of Todd Bowles—he was our defensive coordinator for a while, remember?—of an offense with great weapons that does things mostly by the book. Is it a sin to want what the Jets have?

FATHER: Why, the 10th commandment states, "Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's cornerbacks, nor his coaches." It's a revised translation.

EAGLES FAN: I see. It's just…now Kiko Alonso is hurt, and DeMarco Murray is banged up, and I feel like Kelly brought all of this upon us by trading for injury-prone and worn-out players.

FATHER: My son, you must trust those who are willing to challenge assumptions and advance unpopular opinions. You must recognize that a shake-up of the status quo will not be immediately embraced or pay quick dividends. It is right and just to challenge traditions and be open to new ideas.

EAGLES FAN: Wait, are we talking about Chip Kelly or…

FATHER: Hush, my son. Remember what Saint Paul said: "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Even when your faith in Kelly waivers, your hope and love of the Eagles must remain forever strong.

EAGLES FAN: Thank you, Father. By the way, I know gambling is a sin, but the Eagles are 2.5-point favorites…

FATHER: Take the points.

"

Prediction: Jets 24, Eagles 17

Denver Broncos (2-0) at Detroit Lions (0-2), Sunday, 8:30 p.m.

Gail Burton/Associated Press

This matchup really needs a head coach swap.

Jim Caldwell reunites with Peyton Manning. "Hey big guy! Great to see you! Go out there and do whatever you want to do on offense."

Gary Kubiak surveys the Lions roster. "OK, we are going to run zone stretch after zone stretch with all of these running backs, mixing in some boot passes to Golden Tate and Eric Ebron. Eventually, the safeties will have to creep up, and as soon as we have single coverage on Calvin Johnson: whammo!"

Defensive coordinators Teryl Austin and Wade Phillips can stay right where they are, no matter how much Austin begs for a switch.

With no coach swap imminent, look for Matthew Stafford to throw 50 passes, endure seven sacks and cough up at least three turnovers. Meanwhile, Manning will wait for Kubiak to lull himself to sleep with his own play calls before going all Tim Wakefield on the Lions.

Prediction: Broncos 24, Lions 14

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) at St. Louis Rams (1-1), Sunday, 1 p.m.

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Le'Veon Bell's return solves the least of the Steelers' problems. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 204 yards and three touchdowns in Bell's absence; that's precisely 18.5 times as many yards as DeMarco Murray at 1/10th the price, for those of you looking for more shots to take at Chip Kelly. (And who isn't?)

With Bell displacing the NFL's second-leading rusher after two weeks, Steelers fans are envisioning a punishing new two-headed backfield, like Franco Harris and Rocky Bleier in the 1970s (even young Steelers fans remember the 1970s; children in Pittsburgh are shown every episode of NFL Films Presents before their first Pixar movie) or Jerome Bettis and all of those guys who platooned with Jerome Bettis. Mike Tomlin vowed to get Bell involved immediately; as for Williams' role, "We will figure that out as we go," he told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Ed Bouchette.

Third-down back? Change-up? A two-back formation? Nonsense! There are only three types of running backs in the Tomlin-Todd Haley system: the workhorse, the guy in the doghouse (LeGarrette Blount last year, Chris Rainey previously, anyone who fumbles even once) and the guy who gets like one carry per week (Jordan Todman so far this year). Williams isn't a doghouse kind of guy, so he better be able to find some rhythm while touching the ball about four times per month.

What a waste. Williams could fill so many roles for the Steelers:

• Defensive Back: Williams has to be better than Antwon Blake.

• Kicker: The Steelers aren't planning to replace Josh Scobee any time soon. Williams can probably nail a few extra points.

• Trade Bait: The Texans could use a running back. Nah, Williams isn't a former Patriots player, so forget it. Say, you know who might be willing to trade a bundle for a running back who rushes for 204 yards in two games? Chip Kelly.

Todd Gurley may also make his debut at running back for the Rams. Jeff Fisher said in a midweek press conference that Gurley "will play when he's ready to play." They say no one is really "ready" to get married or start a family. No one is really "ready" to play for the Rams offense, either.

Prediction: Steelers 22, Rams 20

San Francisco 49ers (1-1) at Arizona Cardinals (2-0), Sunday, 4:05 p.m.

Michael Conroy/Associated Press

The Cardinals' secret weapon so far this season has been John "Smokey" Brown, not to be confused with Corey "Philly" Brown of the Panthers or Cardinals teammate Jaron "Trendy Vape Bar Full of Annoying Hipsters" Brown (the last nickname, like vape bars themselves, has not yet really caught on).

Smokey drew two pass interference penalties to set up touchdowns against the Bears. He also drew a pass interference penalty in the end zone against the Saints. Smokey has nine catches for 91 yards, but Football Outsiders keeps track of pass interference penalties drawn by wide receivers, and Brown's three flags have already netted 97 yards and set up important touchdowns.

Two of Smokey's flags were a little tacky; he was only really mugged once, by Kyle Fuller early in the Bears game. But the Cardinals website reports that Bruce Arians and receivers coach Darryl Drake emphasize techniques that can cause defenders to commit penalties—or at least bait referees into calling them. "That's the mindset that coach Drake and coach Bruce Arians, they tell me, draw attention back into them," Brown said.

Do you ever get the impression that Arians was the kid who put the itching powder into everyone else's jock straps when he was in high school?

Anyway, Smokey meets his match this week in reigning pass interference troll king Torrey Smith. Smith has drawn 26 pass interference penalties for 571 yards in four seasons, including a whopping 11 for 225 last year. Every Ravens fan knows that the Joe Flacco-to-Smith pass interference bomb, followed by the 52-yard Justin Tucker field goal, was practically the centerpiece of the team's offense.

Smith's penalty magic has been curtailed in San Francisco, where deep passing is only an emergency tactic. It may be rude to say that the Cardinals are winning with smoke and mirrors this year, but Smokey and penalties? That's pretty accurate.

Prediction: Cardinals 26, 49ers 20

New Orleans Saints (0-2) at Carolina Panthers (2-0), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

Late in the week, as the Game Previews deadline approaches...

Refresh Twitter. Check the RSS feed, emails and text messages. C'mon, we need some Drew Brees news to write this capsule!

REPORT: Dr. James Andrews confirms Brees has a bruised rotator cuff.

Is Andrews surgeon general yet? Can ordinary people consult with Andrews? Why do superstar athletes even get a first opinion if they are just going to run to Andrews afterward? If I were Bill Belichick, you know what I would do? Lock Andrews in the Gillette Stadium basement so he could only work with Patriots players, then hire a lookalike actor to travel the country pretending to be Andrews and delivering quack diagnoses, that's what.

Anyway, that diagnosis doesn't indicate whether Brees will start or sit. Surf the local beat reports. Look up "rotator cuff" on WebMD. Check Twitter again. Ooh…Sean Payton conference call!

PAYTON:

"

We have conversations that are very normal. Such as how are you feeling? Where do you think you're at? It wasn't based off him throwing 15 go routes. It was really Wednesday's practice and where we thought he was at.

It's more about us paying attention where he is today. How does he feel today? Just monitoring it and we won't know until later on this week if it's better for sure. I'm anxious to see how he does today.

"

What…the…heck…does…that…mean?

"Conversations that are normal?" Did the rotator cuff injury affect the speech center of Brees' brain somehow? Or Payton's brain? Oh…there's the phone. Forgot about that radio appearance:

"

RADIO HOST: Do you think the Saints are just trying to keep the Panthers guessing so they must prepare for two quarterbacks?

GAME PREVIEWS: Gosh, "Drew Brees has a shoulder injury" is the kind of graveyard the Saints would rather whistle past than romp around in. When a 36-year-old athlete suffers a soft-tissue injury but expects to compete at a world-class level, a seven-day timetable doesn't provide much leeway. Also, it's not like Michael Vick or some cannon-armed kid is on the bench to provide a changeup; I'm not sure how you "prepare" for Luke McCown.

"

OK, more research. Wait, that's it! The question is not whether Brees will play; the question is whether Brees operating at 70 or 80 percent can beat the Panthers!

Can Brees at 100 percent even beat the Panthers? Not the way the Saints defense and special teams have played. Not the way the Saints typically play on the road. Not the way the Panthers defense has played, even without Luke Kuechly, whose post-concussion health status is another mystery.

There's no reason to push past a deadline to realize the Saints have problems that even Dr. James Andrews cannot solve.

Update: The Saints announced Friday Brees will not play versus the Panthers.

Prediction: Panthers 22, Saints 16

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) at New England Patriots (2-0), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Tanier Art Studios

Rather than create phony drama about this game—the one game we assumed the Patriots would win even when we thought Tom Brady would be suspended—let's use this opportunity to give the Jaguars and the rest of the NFL some advice. Heck, maybe it will help the Jaguars cover that two-touchdown spread:

When the Patriots are near the goal line, they will line up Rob Gronkowski and Scott Chandler as either traditional tight ends or fullbacks. They will then send them in motion as wide receivers and throw to whichever one is being covered by the most overmatched defender.

The diagram above shows the motion the Patriots used to set up a Gronkowski touchdown against the Bills. The defensive side of the diagram is a slight exaggeration of how opponents have responded this year. The Steelers acted like a flying saucer had just landed in the Patriots backfield. The Bills were more prepared—they kept a cornerback on the field to match up with Gronk and stopped a few of these plays—but there were still too many defenders shouting and nudging each other into position for a tactic that should have been talked about all week in meetings.

The Jaguars may not have an ideal Gronk neutralizer in their secondary, but they have some guys who could have a good crack at the job: Veteran defensive backs Sergio Brown (who's of course played with and against Gronk before) and Davon House can turn and leap on a fade route. But it doesn't matter who covers Gronk and Chandler, unless it turns out to be Jared Odrick and Chris Clemons. What matters is that some tall, rugged defensive back strides confidently out to defend each of the Patriots tight ends without shrugging his shoulders, screaming at a teammate or consulting a user's manual.

If the Patriots see the Jaguars are ready for the Gronk motion trick by spreading talented defenders along the perimeter, they will be forced to shift gears and hand off up the middle to…LeGarrette Blount, whose only life skill is pounding the ball into the end zone, or Dion Lewis, who is inexplicably good now.

Eh, maybe the Cowboys can figure out how to stop this next week.

Prediction: Patriots 37, Jaguars 17

San Diego Chargers (1-1) at Minnesota Vikings (1-1), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Tom Olmscheid/Associated Press

The Chargers last traveled to Minnesota to face the Vikings on Nov. 4, 2007. The world was a different place when the Vikings beat the Chargers 35-17 that afternoon.

Adrian Peterson (296 rushing yards and three touchdowns in that game) was the focal point of the Vikings offense as the team nurtured a second-year quarterback prospect (Tarvaris Jackson) and tried to overcome the Packers, who held firm control of the NFC North with the help of a superstar quarterback. Meanwhile, Philip Rivers (197 passing yards that day) led a talented Chargers team that was always stuck a rung below the Tom Brady-Peyton Manning elite in the AFC.

Yes, the world was very different. A presidential election, still a year away, was already dividing the nation. Sudden cracks were emerging in a long-standing economic boom. Gosh, it all feels so ancient and alien now.

Chargers-Vikings games are too rare to support easy storylines, and the teams themselves have not yet established their 2015 identities. Are the Vikings the team that controlled the trenches against the Lions last week or the one that ran screaming from a riding lawnmower in San Francisco? Are the Chargers the team that came roaring back against the Lions or the one that settled for field goals while trailing the Bengals? The only thing the last two weeks told us about these teams is they are in better shape than the Lions, just like they were in 2007.

Anyone who has this game as their Million Star Lock of the Week is either a genius or bluffing. We'll know more about these teams next week, and we'll meet back in eight years to see if this is still all about Peterson and Rivers.

Let's just skip a repeat of what happened to the economy after 2007, shall we?

Prediction: Vikings 24, Chargers 23

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) at Houston Texans (0-2), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Grant Halverson/Getty Images

Each year at this time, the massive Game Previews staff combs dozens of press-conference transcripts and local newspaper columns to verify that no teams are, in fact, "pushing the panic button."

By midweek, Pete Carroll was telling Seahawks fans not to panic. Max Unger assured Saints fans there was no reason to panic (it would have meant more coming from Dr. James Andrews). Rashean Mathis and Darryl Tapp made it clear the Lions weren't panicking. There were no "panic button" quotes in Philly, but then again, Chip Kelly doesn't use buttons. He has one of those holographic command centers that Tony Stark uses to make Iron Man suits.

Just once, I would love to read a quote from a player or coach on an 0-2 team saying, "Oh boy, are we panicking! We are running around with our hands in the air, screaming and lighting trashcans on fire! One more loss and we'll resort to cannibalism!"

Anyway, Aaron Wilson of the Houston Chronicle received assurances from Nate Washington and A.J. Bouye (who?) that the Texans are not panicking. "No time to panic at all," Washington said. Coach Bill O'Brien also told his team to "stick together and everyone has to do their job a little bit better." So yeah, no panic.

Except…YOU BENCHED YOUR STARTING QUARTERBACK IN THE SEASON OPENER, COACH. YOU SPENT SEVEN MONTHS MAKING A DECISION, THEN WENT BACK ON IT AFTER 52 MINUTES. THE PANIC BUTTON ALREADY HAS A GREAT, BIG, GREASY O'BRIEN FINGERPRINT ON IT.

Jameis Winston doesn't have a panic button. When J.J. Watt crashes through the Buccaneers line, he'll push either the "strip-sack" or "throw into triple coverage" buttons.

Prediction: Texans 20, Buccaneers 10

Chicago Bears (0-2) at Seattle Seahawks (0-2), Sunday, 4:25 p.m.

John Froschauer/Associated Press

Anticipated Monday morning Seahawks headlines:

Headline: Kam's Return Brings the Boom Back to the Legion

Nut Graf*: Kam Chancellor returned to the lineup after a long holdout and had a big game. Teammates Earl Thomas and Richard Sherman confirmed that Chancellor's return set the tone for the Seahawks defense.

Translation: One of those guys who dresses like George Washington and spins a sign in front of a car dealership could have a productive game at safety against Jimmy Clausen. But yeah, it's great to see Kam back.

Headline: Graham Finally Cracks the Seahawks' End-Zone Code

Nut Graf: Jimmy Graham caught a touchdown pass and made other big plays. He said he felt "more comfortable" Sunday than two weeks ago, while Russell Wilson praised Graham's end-zone chops—and his blocking. (Let's not forget his blocking.)

Translation: The Bears tried to cover Graham one-on-one with Lamarr Houston, Jared Allen and Ego "The Living Planet" Ferguson.

Headline: Carroll's Calm Demeanor After 0-2 Start Pays Dividends

Nut Graf: Pete Carroll used his experience as a Super Bowl winner to keep his team from losing its composure after losses to the Rams and Packers. The result was a "statement" win over the Bears.

Translation: There are no statement wins over the Bears. This column was written Friday afternoon.

Anticipated Monday morning Bears headlines:

Headline: WE WANT TEEEEEEEEBOOOOOOOOOOW

Nut Graf: WE WANT TEEEEEEEEBOOOOOOOOOOW.

Translation: WE WANT TEEEEEEEEBOOOOOOOOOOW.

Prediction: Seahawks 27, Bears 13

*"Nut graf" is cool, old-school, insider-y newspaper lingo for a paragraph near the beginning of a news story that summarizes for readers what the story will be about. Editors often required a writer to send in his nut graf in advance of features and columns so they could brief higher-ups and colleagues on the topics and tones of upcoming stories. "Nut graf" was replaced in 2011 by "shareable content."

Oakland Raiders (1-1) at Cleveland Browns (1-1), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Kathy Willens/Associated Press

Darn it! Darn the Browns and their logical decision-making!

This could have been the most interesting Raiders-Browns game of the last 30 years. Despite their storied histories, the Raiders and Browns have rarely been good and existent at the same time.

Their most famous clash came in the 1980 playoffs, a 14-12 slugfest that ended with Red Right 88, which was the early '80s version of Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning trying to figure out whether touchdowns are good. You know a rivalry isn't heated if you have to go back to a 14-12 game in the Jimmy Carter administration in search of excitement.

The Browns and Raiders may not be playoff teams this year, but both are coming off encouraging victories, with Derek Carr and Johnny Manziel looking sharp and eager to build off their Week 2 success. But Josh McCown cleared concussion protocol, and he's the McCown of First Resort, unlike his brother. No Carr-Manziel party this week, folks.

It's a dead heat whether Manziel or McCown gives the Browns the best chance to win Sunday: It's all about defense, field position and Travis Benjamin for them this year. But only Mike Pettine and his staff really know how ready Manziel is or how big his playbook really was last week, when he barely had to lift his arm after halftime. Given a psychologically unsteady young quarterback to manage, Pettine opted to let McCown start until Manziel has to ride to his rescue, rather than vice versa. It's not hard to see the logic in the decision.

So this is just another matchup of two rebuilding teams, one with a bad defense and the other with a rickety old jalopy of a quarterback. Drat. But if both teams manage their situations right, maybe they can meet in the playoffs next year.

Prediction: Raiders 24, Browns 19

Indianapolis Colts (0-2) at Tennessee Titans (1-1), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

The Titans are 1-11 against the Colts since 2009. Their lone win came in 2011, Peyton Manning's year of exile. Matt Hasselbeck won a "duel" with the immortal Curtis Painter, who threw a pair of interceptions that day. The Titans couldn't even sweep the hapless Colts that year; Dan Orlovsky led the Colts to a 27-13 win in the rematch, even though Dan Orlovsky's primary purpose as a starting quarterback is to secure the first overall draft pick for his team.

Hasselbeck, Jake Locker, Ryan Fitzpatrick and Charlie Whitehurst (with cameos from Zach Mettenberger and Jordan Palmer) have all failed to defeat the Colts since Chuck Pagano and Andrew Luck took over in Indy; admittedly, many of the games have been close, like a 30-27 shootout in 2013 that the Titans led for much of the game. The 2012-2014 Colts had a brilliant but sloppy reputation. Marcus Mariota has a chance to succeed where his predecessors have failed because the Colts have ditched the "brilliant" angle this season.

There has been plenty of finger-pointing in Indianapolis after the Colts' 0-2 start. Pagano called out Luck's heave-ho interceptions, pointing out to reporters that taking care of the football is "not trigonometry," and he took a veiled jab at general manager Ryan Grigson for not upgrading the offensive line.

Pagano later walked his remarks back, like you do, but all it took was a couple of losses to make the Colts start to sound like the Redskins. Colts fans should be nervous about both Luck's increasing Cutlerization and Pagano's itchy blame-trigger finger; successful teams are supposed to project that one-day-at-a-time veneer after an 0-2 start, even if they are trembling on the inside.

After two weeks of tough defenses, the Colts face a familiar foe with an ordinary secondary and an inconsistent pass rush this week. Luck should throw for 300 yards with little effort, and the Colts defense has now seen enough film to give Mariota a fresh set of rookie lumps.

This is a must-win game for the Colts, and not just because even the AFC South is unlikely to produce a champion that started 0-3. No one in the organization—Pagano, Luck, Grigson or anyone else—wants to start evoking memories of 2011.

Prediction: Colts 33, Titans 21

Kansas City Chiefs (1-1) at Green Bay Packers (2-0), Monday, 8:30 p.m.

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The Packers and Chiefs will commemorate the 50th anniversary of Super Bowl I on Monday night. Super Bowl I gets a Roman numeral (like World War I, and unlike the awful Star Wars prequel, it didn't get an I right away), but Super Bowl 50 gets a "50" because the league didn't like the idea of a giant L on its branded materials: Put a big L behind "Super Bowl," and next thing you know, there will be a bigger one on Roger Goodell's forehead.

The Roman numerals became confusing long after the Chiefs stopped being a team that occasionally participated in Super Bowls. The first five are easy to keep straight, and everyone knows X means 10. (The league had no problem with Super Bowl XXX, even though the Cowboys played in it during a highly NC-17 period in their history.) If you can remember who played in Super Bowl XLIV, you are either a Saints fan or Emperor Claudius.

The NFL should ditch the Roman and Arabic numerals and use the Friends episode naming system to keep Super Bowls straight. Friends episode titles start with "The One with…" in an annoying (successful) attempt at informal slacker coyness. So instead of "The One Where Rachel Looks Cute," or Super Bowl XXXIX, we could have official names like:

The One with Lombardi (I)

The Other One with Lombardi (II)

The One with the Guarantee (III)

The One with Matriculating Down the Field (IV)

The One with John Candy (XXIII)

The One with Wide Right (XXV)

The One with One Yard Short (XXXIV)

The One with David Tyree's Head (XLII)

The One with the Idiotic Pass at the End (XLIX)

You get the idea.

Legend has it that Vince Lombardi did not take Super Bowl I all that seriously; he considered it an exhibition game after beating the Cowboys for the "real" NFL championship.

After beating the Seahawks, the 2015 Packers also run the risk of looking past the Chiefs. Lombardi still crushed an excellent Chiefs team 50 years ago, and this year's Packers should still outclass the modern Chiefs and continue their path toward a Super Bowl that will be remembered forever as The One Where Rodgers and Brady Played Seven Overtimes.

Prediction: Packers 27, Chiefs 20