10 Lies Sports Fans Use to Cope
It's tough being a sports fan. There are highs, and there are lows. And when there are lows, fans have to cope somehow.
Some deal with adversity through eternal optimism—e.g., "Maybe this year really is our year."
Others, well, others are just plain delusional, like, "My team never does anything wrong."
Here are 10 coping mechanisms fans in turmoil use—10 little sentences they recite in their heads to try to make it all better despite the unlikelihood—or even impossibility.
'A 10-Year Contract Extension Is a Good Idea'
1 of 10
Used when: Your team signs an old dude (relatively speaking) for a ton of money and a ton of years
Didn't Alex Rodriguez prove 10-year contracts (or extensions) for baseball players over the age of 28 are a bad idea?
Sure, the climate of today's free-agent market ensures these things will keep happening. Still, any Seattle Mariners fans who think Robinson Cano is going to be productive at age 40 are kidding themselves.
'Maybe [Insert Injured Player]'s Injury Isn't That Bad'
2 of 10
Used when: An integral player gets hurt
It's heart-wrenching for fans to watch a key player go down with an injury. And sure, sometimes injuries are minor, but sometimes they are not.
Regardless of how bad the injury looked, or if the player was carted off the field or what—fans hold out hope. They tell themselves it's "not that bad" until they know for sure.
'My Team Looks Good'
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Used when: Your team's colors, uniforms or logos are not attractive
There are many iterations of this coping mechanism. Optimistic sports fans pretend anything associated with their team is just great.
"Brown and orange look good together." (No they don't.)
"Wrigley Field is the best ballpark in America." (Atmosphere-wise, maybe, but structurally, absolutely not).
"Our new logo is totally boss." (Not if you're the Los Angeles Clippers, it's not.)
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
'[Insert Bust] Could Still Be Our Guy'
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Used when: A hyped player doesn't pan out
In sports, sometimes things just don't work out the way people thought they would. And when that happens, fans have to learn to let it go.
Take Robert Griffin III in Washington, for example. He hasn't been the savior fans thought he would be, and questions about his future with the team loom.
Former Redskins running back Clinton Portis recently told Dan Hellie of NFL Network (via Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post), "I think the city is torn apart between Redskins fans and RGIII fans."
'We Might Be Good Next Year'
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Used when: Your team is having a terrible year
Eternal optimists always think about next year. Next year hasn't happened yet. It's still in that hopeful place called the future.
For some teams, this actually pans out (looking at you, Chicago Cubs). Unfortunately for others, "next year" is the year that seemingly never comes.
'I Could've Made That Catch'
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Used when: A player on your team botches a play
You could've made that catch, really?
In the NFL, with an NFL quarterback throwing you the ball and NFL defensive backs covering you? With fans screaming and television cameras watching?
No you couldn't have.
'The Refs Cost Us the Game'
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Used when: Your team loses
This is rarely wholly true. Sports are like The Butterfly Effect. In most cases, you never really know how the rest of the game would've unfolded if your team had gotten this call versus that call.
And if fans were honest with themselves, they'd usually have to admit that, over the course of an entire game, their team probably got some of the calls too.
Unless you're M.D. Jennings of the 2012 Green Bay Packers, then the "refs cost us the game" line is just sore-loser talk.
'That Kid We Drafted Is a Stud'
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Used when: Your team hasn't been good in a long time and you're clinging to hope wherever you can get it
Poor Cleveland Browns fans. They were so excited about drafting Heisman winner Johnny Manziel in 2014.
Unfortunately, like too many hyped draft picks, Manziel hasn't lived up to expectations yet.
'My Team Did Nothing Wrong'
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Used when: Your team is accused of doing something wrong
Sure, no player on your team ever commits penalties or fouls. No one on your baseball team experimented with performance-enhancing drugs in the 1990s. No one knows anything about the air pressure in your team's footballs.
Sure, sometimes these idealistic views hold water, but sometimes they don't. No one is perfect. Even Peyton Manning commits penalties from time to time.
'My Team Is a Contender This Year'
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Used when: The season just started and the badness hasn't reared its ugly head yet
Big turnarounds do happen in sports. Just look at the Boston Red Sox. That team went from last place in the American League East in 2012 to World Series champions in 2013.
So yes, it's possible for bad teams to contend one year later. The problem for most fans is that worst-to-first is the exception, not the rule.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
