College Football Report: Week One

The college football season finally got underway last Thursday and, truthfully, caught us a bit before we were ready for it here at the Beachwood Sports Desk. So let's get you caught up and then take a look at this weekend. As always, the following is for entertainment purposes only.

The Week(s) in Review

Game: Utah St. 17 @ #19 Utah 35 (-21)

What was supposed to happen? People love the Utes. And for good reason, I suppose. I've always enjoyed Utah's outsider role in the BCS mess. But for whatever reason, this year's team does not turn me on. Their game last Thursday was an audition for another run into BCS contention.

What actually happened? Utah won but didn't cover. See what I mean?

Game: #16 Oregon 8 @ #14 Boise State 19 (-3)

What was supposed to happen? Boise State, playing at home on its blue "Smurf Turf," went into the game as a slight favorite although most seemed more interested in the prospect of a high-scoring shootout between two of the most hyped offenses in the country.

What actually happened? No one seems to remember due to the outburst by Oregon RB LeGarrette Blount immediately after the game. For the record, Boise shut down Oregon QB Jeremiah Masoli and ruined a sexy BCS dark horse pick. The game was not as close as the final score would lead you to believe.

As for Blount, young people in high-pressure, emotionally heated situations can't be relied on to always make good decisions. Hell, I've made worse decisions in cold blood.

Game:: CSU 3 @ #1 Florida 62 (n/a)

What was supposed to happen? CSU - no not that CSU, or that one, or . . . - was expected to get killed. Florida kindly requested that Charleston Southern (oh, that CSU) play along, to the tune of $450,000. Allowing Tim Tebow to simply run the length of the field, for example, would not be acceptable.

What actually happened? CSU accepted a healthy paycheck for a glorified practice session with the Gators. (Bonus: name CSU's mascot! First to respond earns the undying respect of the Beachwood Sports Desk.)

Game: Louisiana-Monroe 20 @ #2 Texas 59 (-45)

What was supposed to happen? Texas QB and Heisman aspirant Colt McCoy, part of The Year of the Quarterback (as proclaimed by ESPN, The Sporting News, et al), was supposed to dazzle us with his good looks, strong arm, and gaudy stats. Helmetless preening for the camera during warm-ups was deemed optional.

What actually happened? Why don't we call the University of Louisiana at Monroe by an acronym? At most, you see "LA-Monroe." From now on, we'll refer to them as ULM. If Charleston Southern gets CSU, it's the least we can do. Oh, ULM lost. But they were scrappy! Ten fourth quarter points prevented Texas from covering a healthy spread. Stick it in your eye, McCoy.

Continue reading Week One of the College Football Report here...