Bob Arum, Boxing and MMA: Let's Settle This One at The Bar

While I am not one to drink myself, after listening to Bob Arums rant on my favorite sport, I have a suggestion for him; Why don't you go tho the nearest bar and set down to talk this over with some real sports fans.

There will most likely be a few faded roses at the bar to cheer you on, though probably no fresh faced, firm bodied young cheerleaders, but you may just get the question of whether MMA is a sport for real men or those you equate with "homos" settled for good.

Although I usually do not favor bars for settling the serious questions that float through my stream of consciousness, I have a feeling there are many dedicated and knowledgeable sports fans inhabiting most bars who would be ready and willing to debate your views with you, Mr. Arum.

I am also quite sure that before you could hightail it out of there you would have a much better sense of what one should or should not say about this sport in public.

So bring on the beer. Lets see if Lefty and Shorty can shed some light on your very prejudiced opinions.

Shorty: Ain't that ole Bob Arum over t'cher?

Lefty: Don't know if I'd recognize em if I saw im.

Shorty: Well hell, let's bring im over for a tall, frosty one.

Shorty: Hey Bob, get yer butt over hyar and let us buy ya a brewski, Bud.

Bob: I am rather busy giving interviews. . .

Lefty: S'all right, fella. Youse gotta make time for the important thangs in life, don't cha?

Bob: Well, actually I have a previous enga. . .

Shorty: It's been eatin' at my tail what cho said about MMA.

Bob: I would prefer not to discuss. . .

Shorty (going on with his line of thought): Since when have ya ever seen a bunch a homos rollin' around? Where ya been, boy, ta see sumpin like thet?

Bob: Theoretically speaking. . .

Lefty" We ain't really talkin Theatrics here, Bob, we're a talkin' bout pers'nul experiences.

Bob: I. . uh. . .

Shorty: See ya just can't throw out sumptin like 'at thout makin' folks wondur whur ya been spendin' yer time, ya know?

Bob: I certainly haven't. . .

Lefty: Then how ya know how them guys roll? Surely ya didn't jus make that up, did ya?

Bob (taking a long pull on his beer): Fellows, you have to understand where I am coming from. . .

Shorty: Yep, thas what we're gettin' at, Bob, where do ya go when ya hang out, gay bars or bath houses. . .are you from San Francisco?

Lefty: That sure is a gay lookin' tie ya gots on there.

Bob: No, you see. . .what I meant when I said. . .

Lefty: Ya weren't callin my bud the Iceman er Capt Americur gay, was ya, Bob. I cud get a real mad on iffin' ya said that!

Shorty (slapping down his glass on the bar): En don't yah be one a those idjits callin' that purty Canadien boy a homo, neither! That boy can fight, by Gawd, so don't cha even go there with dat nunscense, now!

Bob (clearing his throat and taking another big gulp): I was just trying to point out that in relation to boxing. . .

Lefty: A dyin' sport, Bob. . .a real dyin' sport.

Shorty: Just get yer shovel and dig the grave, boy. It's dead and a already a stinkin'.

Bob: Now look here you two low lifes. . .

Shorty: Hey bob, did ya know that Lefty's kid is a young MMA pro?

Bob" What?

Shorty: Yup, and my daughter just married herself a rookie with the UFC.

Bob: Okay, I think it is time to leave. . .

Lefty: Leave, Bob? We're just gettin' the party here started. I thought you'd like to have yerself a little rollin' around first. . . Shorty an' I ain't gay, but we've been known to roll purty well since our old college days in Iowa with the wrasslin' team. I'd like ta show ya some moves I taught my kid.

Bob (running out the door): No waaaaayyyy!

Shorty: Whut got inta Bob?

Lefty: Maybe  little more sense, Shorty, 'n he left half 'is beer.