Whitaker's 2009 NFL Season Predictions

Nolan HackContributor ISeptember 12, 2009

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 30:  Osi Umenyiora #72 of the New York Giants celebrates a sack against the Philadelphia Eagles with teammate Justin Tuck #91 at Giants Stadium on September 30, 2007 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)


AFC East
1. New England Patriots - 12-4
The offense is great, and the defense will have more trouble than it wants because Richard Seymour and Mike Vrabel are now out west.

2. New York Jets - 10-6
Basically the 2009 Jets, are the 2008 Ravens, just in different colors.

3. Miami Dolphins - 9-7
They over-achieved last year, and this year Tom Brady is healthy.

4. Buffalo Bills - 3-13
The Bills got TO!  The Bills got TO!  Ya so?  Nice rhyme don't cha think?

AFC North

1. Pittsburgh Steelers - 10-6
The Champs are trying to break their own record of six Super Bowls, they might just do it, just not this year.

2. Baltimore Ravens - 10-6
This may be my favorite team in the NFL (outside of the Niners of course), cuz they play my kind of football, smash mouth football, problem for the Ravens is the Steelers are still a better football team.

3. Cincinnati Bengals - 5-11
This team has talent, it's just that talent is mostly too young (or in rookie Andre Smith's case too lazy and fat).

4. Cleveland Browns - 2-14
Man-genius is town, and by December he'll have a mighty big frown, another nice rhyme if I do say so myself.

AFC South

1. Houston Texans - 11-5
This is the year the Texans break out, the main/key reason No. 8 (Matt Schaub) stays healthy.

2. Tennessee Titans - 10-6
Yeah Albert Haynesworth is gone, but Tony Brown and Jason Jones didn't go anywhere.

3. Indianapolis Colts - 10-6
They still got Peyton Manning, and they still have absolutely no talent in the teeth of their defense.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars - 7-9
One of my favorite NFL Bruins (just might be my favorite, Jarrad Page, Dave Ball, being possible others) finally gets to prove midgets can run the ball at the world's highest level of football, too bad his team plays in the football world's best division.

AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers - 13-3
As long as the faces of the Charger O and D stay healthy (LT and Lights Out), the ceiling will remain sky high for San Diego in '09.

2. Oakland Raiders - 7-9
Raider Nation can single-handedly thank Josh McDaniels for taking the role of laughing stock of the AFC West.

3. Denver Broncos - 5-11
So in their Head Coaches' mind Kyle Orton (and Matt Cassel) is a better spread quarterback then Jay Cutler, or did I miss something here?

4. Kansas Chiefs - 2-14
The Chiefs best skill player will be double covered just about every sunday (minus those times he's trying to be locked up by corners like Nnamdi Asomugha), well that's surely disturbing, and who's replacing Tony Gonzelez, oh Sean Ryan, yeah um, how many top five picks in a row is KC shooting for, anybody think they can extend this run till the 2015 NFL draft?

1 Chargers
2 Pats
3 Texans
4 Steelers
5 Titans
6 Jets

AFC Title Game
Steelers 20, Jets 14

Jets @ Chargers - Jets 19, Chargers 17
Steelers @ Pats - Steelers 24, Pats 20

Wild Card
Jets @ Texans - Jets 24, Texans 20
Titans @ Steelers - Steelers 21, Titans 9


NFC East

1. New York Giants - 13-3
I still don't care Plaxico Burress isn't playing for them, when you have a possible history making defense you don't need Plax, especially since they have mind as well have a Cadilac Escalade as their starting RB and Eli Manning is now actually a half way decent quarterback.

2. Washington Redskins 11-5
Jason Campbell doesb't have to be the answer (at least this year), all they need to do is do what the Giants do, run the ball and play defense.

3. Philadelphia Eagles - 10-6
So the Eagles, still can't convert on third and short, and their defense is probably the most overrated in the NFL, um that's gonna be a problem when you play the three other teams from the NFC West twice a year.

4. Dallas Cowboys - 7-9
Yes TO's departure will lower Wade Phillips and more importantly Tony Romo's blood pressure, but it's also gonna make their passing offense 10 plus touchdowns worse, oh wait they have Roy E. Williams a guy who has less touchdowns in his career than TO has over the last three years.

NFC Central
1. Minnesota Vikings - 10-6
This is a ridiculously talented team, who supposedly had one position with supposedly no talent, that position of course being at quarterback, now they have Brett Favre, so...the Vikes will do what they do run the ball more then they throw it, and when they're in a third and five the soon to be 40-yeard-old QB will earn his $12 million a year contract.

2. Green Bay Packers - 10-6
Funny thing about this team people say they didn't have a defense last year, yeah you wouldn't have a D either if your best shut down corner played with a lacerated spleen after missing most of the first half of the year, and your starting middle linebacker wasn't so lucky missing the rest of the season with a torn ACL, now they get both guys back, along with BJ Raji and Dom Capers, yeah Bear and Viking fans I'm scared too.

3. Chicago Bears - 9-7
After more than a half a decade Chi-Town finally has another franchise QB, sad thing is he has no wide reciever to throw a pass too, or a defense legit enough to be called the Monsters of the Midway.

4. Detroit Lions - 4-12
The goal for the Lions this year—win a game, it I'll be a long wait since they're first six games have them on the road against the Saints, Bears, and Packers, and hosting the likes of the Vikes, the team from the nations capital, and the reigning Super Bowl Champs.

NFC South
1. New Orleans Saints - 11-5
Enter Gregg Williams and Darren Sharper, the Saints better hope the legal system doesn't have Will Smith and Charles Grant go out the exit doors for those four weeks everyone's talkin' bout, or it won't matter how many points Drew Brees and company can put up.

2. Carolina Panthers - 8-8
The dumbest playoff quarterback in NFL history is a year older and the Panthers' best run stopping D-Lineman is out for the year, division to New Orleans by default, but hey Panther fans you should have done what you were supposed to and drafted Joe Flacco.

Oh but you need a running back as good as J-Stew to back up the most underrated player in the NFL, rite I mean seriously draft a guy who should only be getting 7-10 carries a game, yeah that makes sense my fault, I'm trippin'.

3. Atlanta Falcons - 7-9
Yes this offense is gonna ball and ball even harder then they did last year, but who's gonna stop the other team from scoring?  T

he sad truth is GM Rich McKay and company cut too many players on D in the offseason (ie Michael Boley and Keith Brooking [I don't care how old the man is he can still tackle like a mo-fo]), and 80 tackle (from '08, Brooking had 102 last year for those keeping score at home) Mike Peterson (who's switching LB positions, by the way) and a rookie safety (who is already hurt) is not gonna cut it.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - 3-13
The media calls it a youth movement, the Bucs call it a culture change, I call it lack of NFL talent.

NFC West
1. San Francisco 49ers - 10-6
If this team was in the NFC East, or even the NFC North, they wouldn't make the playoffs, but since they play in the NFC West they just so happen to now be the best team.

2. Seattle Seahawks - 8-8
They have no O-line (and a 33 year old quarterback who always seems like he's injured to try to protect), and no secondary, 8-8 sounds about rite.

3. Arizona Cardinals - 7-9
This team overachieved and got ridiculously lucky last year in the playoffs, too bad this year they aren't even the 2nd best team in their division to even have a chance to get that lucky again in next January's playoffs.

4. St. Louis Rams - 1-15
Steve Spagnuolo reminds me of Jimmy Johnson, in the sense that he is a very talented coach, who has inherited a horrible, horrible football team in his first season as a NFL Head Coach.

1 Giants
2 Saints
3 Vikes
4 Niners
5 DC
6 Philly

NFC Title Game
Vikes @ Giants - Giants 14, Vikes 6

D.C. @ Giants - Giants 27, D.C. 12
Vikes @ Saints - Vikes 27, Saints 24

Eagles @ Vikings - Vikes 20, Eagles 16
D.C. @ Niners - D.C. 17, Niners 10

Super Bowl XLIV
Giants 20, Steelers 7
Super Bowl 44 MVP - Justin Tuck

NFL MVP - Drew Brees
Defensive Player Of The Year - Mario Williams
Rookie Of The Year - Aaron Curry
Coach Of The Year - Norv Turner


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