13 Sports-Related Jobs Nobody Wants
The FIFA presidency is high-profile, but would you want that job right now?
Sure, to some degree, any job in sports would be cool. Then again, the reality doesn't always live up to the hype.
Some of the following 13 jobs might be unwanted because of the current sports landscape, and others might just be terrible in any circumstance. Some are specific jobs and others are more general, but either way, there are some aspects of these gigs that are less than appealing.
For instance, would you want to scuba dive in what has been described as "mucky, nasty water with the gators"? Didn't think so.
Career Backup
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It could be argued that no job that involves being a professional football player is a bad job. Still, career backups have it rough. Take someone like Brady Quinn, for example. He had a successful career at Notre Dame and even became a Heisman Trophy finalist in 2006.
His NFL career, however, hasn't quite lived up to expectations. It started with his sitting in the green room entirely too long at the NFL draft and continued with the solidification of his status as a career backup quarterback.
Quinn played in Cleveland from 2007-09 but only started 12 games. Since then, he's bounced around, in and out of the league and started in eight games. Most recently, he was released by the Miami Dolphins but hopes to play somewhere in 2015.
Away Team Bat Boy (or Girl)
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MLB bat boys have pretty cool jobs. They get to hang out on the field, practice their skills—maybe even chum it up with the professionals. Sure, there's the pressure of making a mistake—fielding a fair ball, for instance—but in general, these guys and gals have it pretty good.
That is, of course, unless they're working with the visiting team. According to Paul Lukas for ESPN, both the home and visiting bat boys are employed by the home team. In the majors, however, the poor sap chosen for away duties has to wear the opposing team's uniform.
Yes, this means the kid in pinstripes fielding foul balls for the New York Yankees at Fenway Park is probably a Boston Red Sox fan.
Referee/Umpire
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OK, it might be a bit over-the-top to say all referees and officials have terrible jobs, but there is a lot of pressure involved. Specifically, let's say an NBA Finals referee and a home plate umpire—those guys have it rough.
NBA referees are constantly getting yelled at by players and coaches, more so when the stakes are high. Home plate umpires have their judgement called into question on a daily basis, and since theirs is a more subjective duty, the possibility for inarguable proof of correctness is unlikely. Oh, and there's that whole thing about possibly getting hit by a baseball every few seconds.
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Mascot
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The mascot always looks like he/she is having fun, but come on. Would you really like to prance around all day in a huge, heavy, presumably very hot costume? And even if you are adored by thousands, no one knows who you really are.
Bromley Lowe, who once occupied the Oriole costume in Baltimore, told Erik Brady of USA Today, "Imagine wearing a fur coat in a sauna while doing aerobics. That's what it's like."
Fun.
Reporter Covering Live Championship Celebration
5 of 13Benjamin Snyder of Fortune recently named the best and worst occupations of 2015. Newspaper reporters came in dead last, and broadcasters were in the bottom five. Still, sports reporting can be a great job, just maybe not if you're in the thick of a drunken Stanley Cup celebration in Wrigleyville.
Case in point. Take a look at this video from Chicago after the Blackhawks won their third championship in six years. NBC's Phil Rogers fought the good fight, but man. That's a tough job.
NFL Commissioner
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The commissioner of any major sports league has a tough job. However, the NFL has given Roger Goodell a particularly rough couple of years. From concussion issues to player conduct and deflated footballs, the commish tends to take it on the chin when issues come to the surface. Unfortunately for him, that's been happening a lot lately.
Oh, and also, former wide receiver Joe Horn recently called Goodell "the devil" in an interview with The Football Girl. So, he's not exactly beloved.
Laundry Duty
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The life of a professional athlete may have its glamorous moments, but it's also extremely dirty. Sweat dripping from an NBA player's brow, mud caked onto an NFL lineman's jersey or any other blood, dirt or grime you can think of—someone has to clean all that off the uniforms when the game is over.
In 2012, Consumer Reports News reported that according to Procter & Gamble, the average NFL team cleaned up to 5,500 pounds of laundry per week. That's more than the average American household over the course of two years.
Anything Involving Cleaning a Stadium
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Anyone who has attending a major sporting event has probably had this thought at one time or another: "I wonder who has to clean all this up," or, "I feel bad for whoever has to clean this mess up."
In 2013, Myles Ma of NJ.com spoke to Henry Rzemieniewski, cleaning operations manager at MetLife Stadium.
According to Rzemieniewski, over 200 workers clean the stadium after each football game. This includes picking up and sorting trash, sweeping and power washing. He also said two of his biggest problems have been gum and bird poop.
"We were having a huge issue outside. They were killing our steel beams," Rzemieniewski said.
Sports fans are lucky people like Rzemieniewski exist, even if many wouldn't want to be him.
Anything Involving the New York Knicks
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All teams have up years and down years. However, only a few poor teams hit rock bottom to the point they become a laughing stock. Despite the fact that the great Phil Jackson is their president, the New York Knicks were the worst case of that in the NBA this year.
Not only would it be challenging to climb out of that type of hole, but it would also be tough to do it in a city like New York, where the spotlight is always shining.
The Knicks do have the fourth pick in the NBA draft though, so things could be looking up.
Next FIFA President
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Long-time FIFA president Sepp Blatter resigned amid one of the biggest scandals sports has ever seen. In May, the U.S. brought widespread corruption charges, including racketeering and money laundering, against high-ranking FIFA officials. Although Blatter was not charged, the scandal put a microscope on not just those charged, but also on FIFA as an organization.
There have been rumblings, per the Guardian, that Blatter won't, in fact, relinquish his position. However, assuming he does, whoever takes over for Blatter has got a real mess to clean up.
FIFA's PR Person
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Speaking of the mess over at FIFA, how would you like to be in charge of its public relations? Not only is the organization embroiled in scandal, but the communications director just left under questionable circumstances.
According to James Riach of the Guardian, Walter De Gregorio told the following joke on Swiss TV amid the scandal: "The FIFA president, secretary general and communications director are in a car. Who's driving? The police."
Pretty funny, right? Apparently, not so much. Now, De Gregorio's deputy will fill in for him on an interim basis. Godspeed.
Urine Sample Collector
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The prospect of collecting urine samples for a living doesn't sound that great to begin with. Add to that the negative attention drug testing in sports can bring to the position, and well, it's not something a lot of people would touch with a 10-foot pole.
Consider this. In 2012, Milwaukee Brewers slugger Ryan Braun went to great lengths to discredit the collector of his positive urine sample, going as far as to call him "anti-Semitic," according to Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports.
Golf Ball Scuba Diver
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Scuba diving is fun, but probably not in murky ponds along golf courses. You may think all the misdirected golf balls that end up in the drink are lost forever. You'd be wrong.
Golf Magazine ran a fascinating story in 2013 about golf ball divers who brave (literally) unsafe waters to fetch lost balls and sell them for profit. According to the story, Paul Lovelace—a diver and retailer in Kansas City, Kansas—said, "This has never been an easy business, and it's only gotten more competitive. But those guys down there who dive in that mucky, nasty water with the gators? Those guys are absolutely nuts."
Agreed.
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