The Terrible Ten of College Football: Week One

I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin'.
I see bad times today

The bad moon, like the '60s moon Credence Clearwater Revival sang about, sadly rose, savage and red, over a few football programs on opening day.

Its never good to start a fight, or a football season, with a viciousl drop-kicked in the privates, but so it goes for a few programs every season.

So let's round up a few of the usual suspects.

1] Illinois [0-1]

Zook got zonked from the Top 25.

The Juice got squeezed.

The Illini lost at a neutral site, as favorites, beaten by a Missouri Tiger squad that lost much to the graduation.

The Zooks got zapped and scored just about zip points in the opener of a season with many high hopes.

If the season goes like this much longer, the Zook will be gone from the Illini zone.

2] Virginia [0-1]

Last year it was, at least, understandable for Tommy Jefferson's Virginia Cavaliers to get thundered by the USC Trojans, but to get a bad beat-down from Bill and Mary at home is an entirely different breed of bad Cavalier.

It looks like its gonna be gone, gone, gone for Al Groh because he has tough customers in TCU,  Southern Miss, and North Carolina looming.

And the rest of the ACC looming....I hear a train coming....for Al.

3] Duke [0-1]

Duke was gonna do it this year. Duke was gonna dance at a bowl. Maybe a nice bowl, a breakthrough and some big upsets along the merry way.

Then they let a sneaky Richmond spider bite 'em badly to begin the year. Bite 'em in their own home, too.

Ouch.

4] Nevada [0-1]

Wasn't that a bad egg the Wolfpack laid in South Bend?

Charlie Weis, lose to Michigan. We miss ya around here.

But we know you'll be back.

5] The State of New Mexico [0-2]

Billy the Kid country was outscored 62-12 to start out another dismal year in the desert.

Someone call Pat Garrett.

6] Florida  [1-0]

Big bullies, picking on poor Charleston Southern.

The last team to shut down the Charleston offense like that was wicked Blackbeard and his harbor blockade.

Or was it the dreaded Coach Tecumseh Sherman and his vicious zone blitz?

Either way, some folks would think Blackbeard, Sherman and the Florida Gators are all bullies.

7] Temple [0-1]

Neither the Owls nor college football in general can ever catch Philadelphia Football fever. But losing a 10-point fourth quarter lead, at home, to cross-town Division 1-AA Villanova is a new low.

This loss was enough to make a Philly Sports fan jump off a free-beer-and-cheesesteak wagon.

8] NC State [0-1]

Scoring only one sad, lonely field goal, as a favorite, in your nationally-televised home opener against the 'Ole Ball Coach wasn't the plan.

Was it?

9] Idaho State [0-1]

Sure, a 50-3 licking at the paws of Arizona State hurts, but at least the collapsing Oklahoma Sooners loom.

10] Oklahoma [0-1]

If the Idaho State Bengals beat up on the Sooners, perhaps it's time for Big Game Bob to find a new moniker.

Beaten Down Bob? Battered Bob?

The Original Bad Game Bob?

But witchcraft, double, double toil and trouble for Bob might have had an unexpected malicious effect on the opening of the brand new Dallas Cowboys scoreboard-impaired palace.

The rumors of an angry Jessica Simpson cursing the Cowboys, and her failed romeo Romo, might have an unexpected nefarious blow-back on any big-name quarterbacks playing in Jerry Jones' new $1.5 billion playpen.

Poor Sam Bradford got buried under the whirlwind of wicked Simpson spurned.

Though, to be fair to the brown-eyed blond, quarterback play down in Dallas has been pretty poor, sans witchcraft, since Troy Aikman rode out of town.