Nullarbor Links: The Greatest Golf Course in the World...Literally

The likes of Thomas Mitchell Morris, Sr. would disapprove of such bastardization. On second thought, maybe Old Tom himself may fancy exploring his inner sense of intrigue and inquisition.

Move aside, St. Andrews. You're getting served, Augusta National.

Pine Valley, Shinnecock, Cypress Point, and Oakmont, you missed the cut.

Pebble Beach and Bethpage Black? Take a seat way in the back.

There is a new 18-hole wonderment that can lay claim to being "the greatest golf course in the world."

Distance-wise, at least.

I'm talking about the soon-to-be-[in?] famous Nullarbor Links of South and Western Australia. Ditch your ol' golf caddy for the pickup truck.

At a eye-popping, jaw-dropping, forehead-slapping 1,365 kilometers (that's about 848 big ugly miles for all of you who turn and thumb your noses at the metric system), the holes are separated by distances as large as 100 km.

Better be sure to keep your fuel tank full, because it's gonna be burning. This course is a beast. A hoss. A bonzer of a beauty. The most superlative of superlatives that even Uluru would be jealous of.

Or maybe not.

The Nullarbor Links stretch all the way from Ceduna, South Australia (sounds like Sedona, Az. but doesn't) to Kalgoorlie, Western Australia. If your dog Toto could speak English he'll tell you, "You may not be in Kansas anymore, but you're playing golf in a course the size of Kansas, mate! Woof woof!"

Prospective tournament organizers from around the globe: you may need to hold your tournament to just one round instead of the customary four that you see on the PGA and European tours. Completing a round of golf at the Nullarbor Links takes four days, depending on how long your players intend to play.

Of course, the paragraph above would be moot if teleportation was invented.

But the Nullarbor Links is sure to be the stimulus package that the denizens in the roadhouses that dot this plain are looking for.

From oyster beds to a giant border kangaroo, to motels and eucalyptus, to celebrational dances by the Ngadju people on the sacred grounds of the 15th hole and land yachts, this one-of-a-kind course has the potential of being considered "the eighth wonder of the world."

For AUD $50, you can purchase a score card and cover your greens fees to play at the Nullarbor Links. Once you have all 18 holes stamped, you will be rewarded with a certificate for having played the World's Longest Golf Course.

That is, unless some Russian sleazebag not unlike Roman Abramovich decides to steal the Aussie Thunder and make one in Siberia.

The Nullarbor Links will officially make their larger-than-life debut on Oct. 22.

So if you want to make your travel plans and live to tell your survivors how you survived playing in the World's Longest Golf Course (as of now), better hurry before Putin's crew of wedge-crazy cronies give you second thoughts, not to mention a fifth of vodka.