Quick Fix Solutions for Terrible Sports Teams
As a Cleveland sports fan, I think that I can relate to losing and unfortunate heartbreak.
You see, as a 30-year-old who has dreamt of a championship since I was born, I have yet to experience what it feels like to see confetti fall on my teams, with the last major title for The Land coming back in 1964 when the Cleveland Browns did it.
But building a championship-level team takes time, with fans forced to wait through rebuilding until their squad can assemble the pieces to compete.
Or, in some cases, teams just find the quick fix.
What are some of those fixes that some of the worst teams in sports tend to lean on? I've got a few ideas listed here, so see if they'll work for the teams that implement them—it has to be better than what they're currently doing.
Blame (then Fire) the Head Coach
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It's just about the oldest trick in the book.
As most sports fans know, when a team is struggling, the first person to get blamed is always the head coach.
Forget the fact that the players are dogging it on the field of play or are blatantly tuning out their leader—it's the coach's fault for not inspiring the players to perform.
No, it's not always fair, but to light a fire under millionaire players and send a message to both the team and the fans that the ownership is serious about trying to win, teams will pull the plug on a coach in order to establish a new plan moving forward—even if it comes just 25 games into a 162-game season like the Milwaukee Brewers did recently.
Make a Big Trade
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While it would be great for a struggling team to just snap their fingers and acquire a multiple All-Star like Kevin Love—my Cleveland Cavaliers were able to snag him this past offseason—the fact is, it takes two teams to make a deal.
In essence, that means that supply is limited for those demanding a player with the rare skill and ability to change the entire fortune of a franchise, making it difficult to target and actually make a play for a budding superstar.
Still, as we have seen in all sports in the past, if a team is really willing to give up something—particularly draft picks—most players can be had, which could affect their team for years to come.
Sell the Team
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Seeing as how selling a multibillion dollar sports franchise has a lot of hoops and ladders to go through for approval, this one might not be all that quick. Still, it's certainly an option when a team is hoping for better results.
When a team is struggling, like any business, a lot of it has to do with the ownership's decisions in assembling a team and creating a culture that athletes want to play in. If unsuccessful, players tend to play with a little less enthusiasm.
So, while the sale of the Jacksonville Jaguars to Shahid Khan in 2011 didn't bring immediate results, for a team like the Los Angeles Clippers—bought by former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer before this NBA season—the shift in ownership brought a newfound (and welcoming) energy that has affected the team's play.
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Get a 'Guru' to Run the Front Office
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I mean, in hindsight, what the New York Knicks did by hiring Phil Jackson in 2014 to be its team president made plenty of sense.
After all, the guy has 11 NBA coaching titles and two more as a former player, giving him instant credibility among players and peers and casting a polarizing shadow over anything that he does.
It's just too bad that Jackson's reign hasn't gone as planned quite yet.
That's not the case with some teams, though, as another former player and NBA champ coach has done it quite successfully. Who is he? Some guy named Pat Riley, who was able to assemble one of the greatest teams in NBA history when he convinced three superstars in their prime to join forces and chase titles.
All that happened was four-straight NBA Finals trips and two championships.
It's not just in basketball that this happens, though, as baseball's Chicago Cubs pay lots of money to Theo Epstein to be the hotshot guru who turns rocks into diamonds.
Spend Like Crazy
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Money might not be able to buy a person happiness, but in sports, it might just buy a team a championship.
That's the thinking by some franchises, at least, as it's the tactic that a few of them have used to try to improve a depleted roster.
Each offseason, teams are enamored with big-name free agents who are looking for the next megadeal, with teams targeting those A-listers and being ready to pounce on them with lavish negotiations and a boatload of money.
It's not always the wisest strategy, of course, as those long-term deals can come back to bite a team after a few years, but it's one that happens every single year with the hope that all of the pieces come together after dollar signs are thrown at an athlete.
Hire an Established Head Coach
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Sometimes, all it really takes is a coach who brings respect to change the culture of a team.
Much like the aforementioned blame put on a coach when things aren't going well, when a team brings in a big-name coach, it's an instant wake-up call for players that there's a new sheriff in town, and it's their way or the highway.
First-year head coaches might be trendy and the sexy pick for fans to hear, but a person with a track record of success and a full resume of championships is what every struggling franchise really needs, establishing order and setting the tone for the players—which has led to success, especially in the case of the Baltimore Orioles with their hire of Buck Showalter.
Have a Superstar Actually Choose Your Team
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For all of those struggling teams out there that are hoping for an encore of what LeBron James did by returning to the Cavaliers last offseason, good luck trying to make something like that happen.
Of course, in James' case, he followed his heart and returned home to his native Northeast Ohio to try to win a title for the state.
But to bank on a superstar to do something like that to return to their roots isn't the smartest strategy for a team to have.
Still, that doesn't mean that getting that one player who can change an entire franchise shouldn't be considered, whether it's by the aforementioned trade or a free-agent spending spree. When an athlete as rare as a James hits the open market, every single team will do whatever possible to get that player, knowing that good things will certainly follow.
Get Lucky by Losing
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As lucky as my Cavaliers were in parlaying two No. 1 overall picks into a Love trade and having the best basketball player on the planet grow up nearby, that's not always the situation with teams.
So what's the second-best option? Well, losing, of course!
Although no team will ever admit to tanking a season publicly, there's a feeling behind the scenes that it's exactly what a few franchises have done, almost always securing a top selection in the following draft for the most talented incoming rookies.
Of course, if a team is poorly run to begin with, the faith fans have in a general manager to actually do the homework and make the right selection is another story. But at the very least, losing to get a higher draft slot is looked at as one of the quickest ways toward turning things around.
Go Through a Complete Fire Sale
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So what happens when a team can't blame the head coach or manager, can't pin it on the front office for choosing to draft or sign bad players and just needs to hit the reset button and rid itself of bad contracts and over-the-hill stars?
Two words: fire sale.
The first step in a full-blown rebuilding project, when a team ships away all of its overpriced players for prospects and draft picks, is the sports version of an apocalypse for a team's fans, who are now forced to be patient and trust the process.
As fans know, it's not easy—especially if you're a Miami Marlins fan—but it's the way it goes sometimes.
Plus, who knows? Sometimes, those young players develop a hell of a lot faster, and the team actually competes (and wins) sooner than anyone ever expects.
Relocate
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In my personal opinion, I don't think there's ever justification for a franchise to leave a city for another one. Unfortunately, though, it happens.
Take, for instance, the St. Louis Rams, a team that has been rumored to return to Los Angeles following a struggle to build a new stadium, leaving them to seek out other alternatives.
The Rams, with a great history and a Super Bowl title on their franchise resume, have struggled for years, not making the playoffs since 2004 and compiling a record of 49-111 for the past 10 seasons.
Following some of these other steps to help with a quick fix, the team fired its head coach and its general manager to hire an accomplished head coach in Jeff Fisher and then spent like crazy on veterans to bolster its roster one offseason.
Even after all of that, though, the Rams have seemed to reach the end of the road, leaving them to consider the most heartbreaking quick fix move ever: packing it up and splitting town.
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