Sports Stars Who Have REALLY Enjoyed the Offseason

The dreaded offseason—in professional sports, the offseason is when fans mourn the season that could have been, or begin grappling with the emotional burden of success. For the teams and athletes themselves, the offseason is less about the big picture and more about the minutiae behind it and the business of sports.

Though the major professional sports have clearly defined seasons, it's never truly the offseason for the players and franchises. Even though no games are being played, training, conditioning, contract negotiations and other vitally important (but time- and resource-consuming) activities are going on behind the scenes.

But, let's be real: Regardless of the work that goes on during the offseason, pro athletes are not exactly punching the clock and swinging shifts. 

One area where sports stars are like the rest of us is how they spend their time on "vacation." For some the offseason is never really the offseason—work is a 24/7 activity. For others, the offseason is an opportunity to blow off steam, but how they spend it won't exactly make people jealous. But, for some athletes, their offseason is so awesome that the fact they are willing to show it off on social media is only slightly less infuriating than the actual things they did.

These are sports stars who have really enjoyed the offseason.

J.J. Watt, Houston Texans

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Finishing an unimpressive, but not entirely embarrassing, 9-7 in 2014, the Texans didn’t really come close to making the playoffs in the AFC. But despite the issues in Houston, superstar defensive end J.J. Watt was so dominant on the field last season that he received more legitimate NFL MVP buzz than any other defensive player in forever.

He didn’t win the league MVP award, but he was named the Defensive Player of the Year. Watt was also named the Pro Bowl MVP, for what that’s worth—let’s not get into an argument about what that’s worth.

Following the season, Watt’s life continued its trajectory into the stratosphere. He was spotted at an NCAA basketball game with Danish tennis sensation Caroline Wozniacki, leading to rumors he and the beautiful blonde are dating. Naturally, they’re both claiming to be “friends,” but they sure have been hanging out together an awful lot for opposite sex friends. Maybe Watt has taken Wozniacki to his "middle-of-nowhere" cabin that he purchased in early March.

Though the description makes it sound like a no-frills escape, let’s just say that it’s anything than a humble place to lay one’s head. Watt described his Wisconsin cabin as “minimalistic,” but the $800,000 cabin on 35 acres is a bit less modest than he’d have you believe.

Giancarlo Stanton, Miami Marlins

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In November 2014, right fielder Giancarlo Stanton signed a ridiculous 13-year deal with the Marlins worth $325 million. If it was any team but the Marlins, the contract may not have been looked at with such skepticism. But we are talking about Jeff Loria, one of the worst owners in professional sports.

The thing about Stanton’s epic megadeal is that, although it’s almost certain his talent will be squandered in Miami, the general consensus seems to be that he is absolutely worth the paycheck. The Fiscal Times, Business Insider and even Sports Illustrated seem to all believe the deal is legit.

In fact, The Atlantic’s Matt Schiavenza assessed the contract and determined Stanton is actually underpaid. Listen though, not that any of this nonsense matters. Stanton is like one of the richest dudes on the face of the planet now and he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

Matthew Stafford, Detroit Lions

Since being picked No. 1 out of Georgia by the Lions in the 2009 NFL draft, quarterback Matthew Stafford has had a lot of highs and lows. His highs coming in regular-season passing yards and his lows coming in postseason failure, on the rare occasion Detroit saw the postseason.

Going into the NFC divisional round against the Cowboys earlier this year, Stafford was 0-17 facing teams with a winning record on the road. Following the game, he was 0-18. Per MLive.com in January: “Matthew Stafford could silence critics with elusive playoff win.”

Yeah, so that didn’t happen! That being said, Stafford’s offseason has more than made up for (yet another) failure on the football field. Check out the Instagram page of his newlywed wife, Kelly Stafford, to see just how amazing we’re talking.

The Staffords had one of the most baller weddings in the history of all weddings, and their honeymoon would make Tony Hawk and T.J. Lavin feel like little girls.

Madison Bumgarner, San Francisco Giants

Madison Bumgarner, superstar ace pitcher of the World Series-winning Giants, enjoyed the exact same low-key offseason as he would’ve had if San Francisco failed to make the playoffs. Though he hasn’t said that specifically, it’s hard to imagine it’s much different than how he celebrates receiving an on-time package of extension cords from Amazon.

But that’s just how Bumgarner is—dude appreciates the simple things in life. First of all, his dad thinks he’s the most awesome thing since sliced bread, which is all a son could ever really ask for, right? So awesome, in fact, that he doesn’t mind telling The New York Times all about it.

Outside of earning the praise of a very proud poppa, Bumgarner spent most of the offseason doing things like…cutting down trees and enjoying the smell “of the woods, the grass, [and] the creeks” in North Carolina. It’s the kind of stuff that isn’t exactly highlighted on the San Francisco tourism sites. Bumgarner enjoys getting his truck dirty, hauling lumber and just generally working the land.

Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers

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Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is arguably the best quarterback in the NFL at the moment, and has been considered as such for the last few years now. He may have only one Super Bowl under his belt at this point, but (outside of ESPN’s Skip Bayless) you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who wouldn’t put him among the best in the league, if not the best.

He was, in fact, named the NFL’s MVP for the 2014 season. And after signing an extension in 2013, Rodgers' new contract (briefly) made him the highest-paid player in the league. Yeah, that’s all well and good of course, but Rodgers’ offseason has been all about Olivia Munn, which makes him one of the luckiest men on earth, at least as far as a whole boatload of men in this country are concerned.

Rodgers has gotten love from a whole host of publications, including The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal, both of which highlight his dry sense of humor and his relationship with one of the world’s most desirable women. I mean seriously, Rodgers and Munn met Oprah together in February. That’s about as top-notch sensational as it gets in the celebrity world.

Munenori Kawasaki, Toronto Blue Jays

A shortstop in the Blue Jays organization going into his third season, Munenori Kawasaki’s offseason was impressively productive. Especially for a baseball player, whose offseason activities are mostly limited to gaining weight.

According to the Toronto Star, this past winter Kawasaki spent some time working on his dance moves and his lower body. Though he didn’t want to get into the whole process, basically it involved developing a better range of motion.

The unexpected benefit of his training regimen? A bigger butt, which is great news, because everyone knows these days that everything is about the butt.

Odell Beckham Jr., New York Giants

Finishing the 2014 season at 6-10, there’s no question the New York Giants didn’t make much of a splash along the season. Starting the season an abysmal 3-9, the Giants were going nowhere fast last year, with the only bright spot being rookie wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr., who was drafted No. 12 overall out of LSU.

In fact, the Giants’ play of the season came courtesy of Beckham, who brought in a one-handed catch in a loss to the Cowboys in late November that has been hailed as one of the greatest catches in NFL history. It’s a rare occasion when the top story on Monday is a play made by an athlete on the losing team.

It wasn’t much of a surprise when Beckham was named the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year. As for the rest of his offseason? Well, just take a look at his Instagram page to see what the first-year phenom has been up to. Let’s just say it’ll make the last few months of your life look like a recently flooded sidewalk covered in dead and dying worms.

Steve Spurrier, University of South Carolina

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Here’s the thing about Steve Spurrier, head coach of the University of South Carolina football team: It doesn’t really matter how good or not good the Gamecocks are in a given season. Obviously life is better for Spurrier if his team doesn’t go an embarrassing 7-6, because he’s always at his best when he’s got a legitimate reason to be nasty.

That being said, HBC has got more than enough reason to brag about his 70-year-old physique. The State’s Josh Kendall recently reported on Spurrier’s offseason training regimen, in which he keeps in shape with workouts six days a week.

Kendall gets into the specifics of HBC’s workout, juxtaposing the information with facts about American obesity. Though the entire column is a pretty entertaining read, there is one section that really boggles the mind.

“It makes me feel only slightly better that Spurrier figures he’s in better shape now than he was when he won the Heisman Trophy in 1966,” Kendall said. Added Spurrier, “I work out more for sure.”

Tom Brady, New England Patriots

In addition to winning his irritating fourth Super Bowl championship with the Patriots in February, and being named the game’s MVP, quarterback Tom Brady has been having one of the most ridiculously baller offseasons in the history of ridiculously baller offseasons. Proving not only is he better than you and everyone else at football, but that he's braver than y'all too. 

As we all know, Brady is married to Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen, who is perhaps the only person on earth more beautiful, more successful and richer than Brady himself. He’s played pickup hoops with Michael Jordan and golf with Keegan Bradley, and still had time to ride off into the sunset on horses on a tropical island with the Mrs. and the kids. 

Marcus Mariota, NFL TBD

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Former Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota hasn’t had the time to enjoy his offseason in the same way as veteran NFL players, but that doesn’t mean things haven’t been going well for the 2014 Heisman Trophy winner.

With the plethora of personal problems plaguing Florida State’s Jameis Winston, Mariota’s stock has been climbing every day. That’s not to say he’ll be the No. 1 pick of the 2015 NFL draft, but considering the accomplishments of Winston in Tallahassee, just being in the discussion is impressive in and of itself.

Rumors abound about Mariota’s potential landing spot, but it’s fair to say he’s set himself up for success in college. He’s a nice person, a humble player and a great teammate, which is more than enough to make him someone fans are eager to see succeed. The polar opposite of one Mr. Johnny Manziel. 

Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals

Though his future in Arizona has been in doubt for sometime, in February superstar wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald agreed to terms on a restructured deal that will pay him $11 million in guaranteed money over each of the next two seasons.

Putting the money mess behind him early, Fitz has been free to live it up this offseason, which is exactly what he’s done. He’s been traveling the world, including a stop in Moscow, and has been shilling for ridiculously high-end brands such as Rolls-Royce.

More recently, Fitzgerald had the opportunity to tee off from the longest par three in the world at the Legend Golf Safari Resort in South Africa. Three days later, Fitz took it up a notch, bungee jumping and “shark chasing."

Pablo Sandoval, Boston Red Sox

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When it comes to slugger Pablo Sandoval, who was signed by the Red Sox in November, a team never knows exactly what they’re going to get when he arrives at spring training following the MLB offseason.

In 2014, the Giants were thrilled to be greeted by a Kung Fu Panda who ingested so little bamboo during the offseason that he reported 42 pounds lighter than he left. That must have been a relatively boring couple of months for Sandoval, who obviously didn’t feel nearly as bound by the same restrictive eating habits going into the 2015 season.

Sandoval must have been living it up for months to pack on the kind of pounds required to inspire this headline from Boston.com: “Internet Eats Up Pablo Sandoval’s Fat Tuesday Photo.”

Rob Gronkowski, New England Patriots

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It’s hard to even know where to begin with the offseason of Patriots stud tight end Rob Gronkowski, who is known for epic offseasons. He’s been partying on the beach and in Las Vegas clubs.

He’s hinting at appearing on WWE Raw. He beer bonged his way into the Entourage movie. He described his perfect woman, and the girl from The Wolf of Wall Street he wants to save him from drowning, to the shockingly unpleasant Jim Rome.

Apparently Gronk is “writing” an autobiography that is to be published by the one and only Derek Jeter. He and his brother (and their bro Goon) got to play pretend police officers in the San Fernando Valley.

Gronkowski crashed the stage at the Ultra Music Festival in March, and the only surprisingly thing about it was that he wasn’t awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for the whole incident. So…uh…yeah...the Summer of Gronk has been mind-blowingly amazing so far. 

Jim Harbaugh, University of Michigan

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Despite the impressive amount of success he enjoyed in San Francisco, former Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh returned to the college ranks in late December as the head coach of Michigan. Not only one of the most coveted positions in college sports, but also Harbaugh’s alma mater.

It’s rare to see a coach return to college so quickly after enjoying so much success in the NFL, but Harbaugh’s exit from the 49ers had been speculated upon throughout the entire 2014 season. Many didn’t believe he’d make a move that is generally considered a step backward, but Ann Arbor really rolled out the red carpet.

Harbaugh is essentially the king of Michigan at the moment, which is easy to say months before the hated rival Buckeyes best the Wolverines once again in the fall. He’s been hyped as the biggest thing to hit the state since Jadeveon Clowney leveled Vincent Smith in the 2013 Outback Bowl.

Tim Tebow, Philadelphia Eagles

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Holy heck fire! Tim Tebow got a job! Like a football job! Not just talking that patented ESPN nonsense on Saturdays. That’s a pretty big deal for a guy who hasn’t been on an NFL roster beyond training camp since the 2012 season.

The former Heisman-winning quarterback of the Florida Gators signed a one-year deal with the Eagles on Monday for the league minimum. Say what you will about the ridiculousness of this signing, but don’t even try to say Matt Barkley has accomplished less than Tebow in the NFL.

That being said, there’s a very good chance this is all going to be a disaster. By the end of this season, Chip Kelly is going to be the king of Philadelphia, or he’s going to be chased out of the city by angry Eagles fans with torches and pitchforks. In the case of the latter, LeSean McCoy might come back just for fun.