Ranking the Best Nicknames in Golf

We aren't in a boom time for golf nicknames. Even so, there are a few great ones among current players.

Active golfers have nothing on the likes of Champagne Tony (Tony Lema), The King (Arnold Palmer), Boss of the Moss (Loren Roberts), Little Poison (Paul Runyan) or Tommy "Thunder" Bolt. 

What makes a great nickname? Great nicknames don't follow a universal formula; however, the best are entertaining and get at the heart of a who a golfer is. Secondarily good nicknames indicate what a golfer does or looks like. 

Click through for a highly scientific ranking of the best nicknames on tour.

Honorable Mentions

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There are a ton of nicknames on the PGA Tour. Some of which we can reprint here. Our honorable mentions nicknames are widely known and repeated so often fans are suffering from nickname fatigue. The names aren't interesting enough to crack our ranking, and in some cases, players are referred to more often by the name listed here than their given name. 

Boom Boom (Fred Couples). Chucky Three Sticks (Charles Howell III). Spiderman (Camilo Villegas). Goose (Retief Goosen). Badds (Aaron Baddeley). Tiger (Eldrick Woods).

13. Tim Clark: Penguin

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Why it's a good nickname: We'll let Tim Clark tell you. ”Tim Clark, a runner-up at Colonial in consecutive seasons (2008, 2009), dubbed himself the 'Penguin' years ago and sports a penguin head cover on his driver. Why? 'Because I look like a penguin,'" per Jimmy Burch of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. 

Why it's here: Tim Clark's nickname would rank higher if he hadn't broken a cardinal rule of nicknaming: He bestowed the moniker on himself.

12. Louis Oosthuizen: Shrek

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Why it's a good nickname: In short, Louis Oosthuizen looks a bit like the green Disney ogre. 

Why it's here: Oosthuizen isn't Shrek-like in demeanor, but he resembles the animated creature in the face. If he were more ogre-like in personality, this nickname would be gold.

11. Jason Dufner: Duf Daddy

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Why it's a good nickname: A play on rapper/producer/mogul Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs' name is always a good one. 

Why it's here: Dufner's nickname is key to the Dufner brand. The "it just fits" factor is high here, earning the Auburn alum the 12th spot.

10. Ryo Ishikawa: The Bashful Prince

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Why it's a good nickname: When he first arrived on the scene, Japanese media bestowed a nickname on Ishikawa that translated to "Bashful Prince," wrote About.com's golf expert, Brent Kelley. If the press who covered the phenom throughout his rise likes this curious name, so do we.  

Why it's here: See above...apparently it really fits. The uniqueness of the name is among the highest (and oddest) on the list.

9. Miguel Angel Jimenez: The Mechanic

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Why it's a good nickname: Before he was the Most Interesting Golfer in the World, Miguel Angel Jimenez was...a mechanic. Thus, the nickname has literal significance. Jimenez, in addition to being an expert cigar smoker and bon vivant, is a tactician on the course. So the nickname functions in two ways. And a third: Some might say Jimenez looks more like a stereotypical mechanic than a stereotypical pro golfer. 

Why it's here: Jimenez's nicknames are both unique and memorable, just like the golfer. We're getting into the portion of the list where nicknames strike at the hearts of these pros.

8. Angel Cabrera: El Pato

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Why it's a good nickname: Anyone who watches Angel Cabrera lumber the fairways of the PGA Tour can see that the affable Argentinian waddles like a duck. It's a great characterization and one that Cabrera seems to embrace. And it sounds better in Spanish. 

Why it's here: It's impossible to know Cabrera's nickname and see him lumbering along and not think of it. That's the hallmark of a sticky nickname.

7. Tim Herron: Lumpy

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Why it's a good nickname: Tim Herron's Twitter handle is PGALumpy. Thus, it's safe to say he's embraced the nickname that has followed him for most of his golfing life. It's a good nickname of the "descriptive adjective" variety.   

Why it's here: The same as with Cabrera, except Herron is a less accomplished golfer. Thus, the name is even more a part of the "Tim Herron Story" than El Pato is of the "Angel Cabrera Story."

6. Colin Montgomerie: Mrs. Doubtfire

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Why it's a good nickname: Since the United States vs. Colin Montgomerie war has subsided, he's not referred to as Mrs. Doubtfire with nearly the same frequency. All credit to him (a famous Monty expression), Montgomerie still resembles Robin Williams' cross-dressing nanny character. 

Why it's here: It's unflattering, sure, but the name has stuck, and it is reminiscent of an entire period of American contempt for him.

5. Kevin Stadler: The Smallrus

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Why it's a good nickname: Kevin Stadler's father is Craig "The Walrus" Stadler. So named because, well, he looks like a walrus. Hence, Kevin, who is a bit smaller than his father, is a "small walrus" or "smallrus." Descriptive, funny portmanteau. 

Why it's here: The nickname is almost a necessary evil when your father is The Walrus. It's really a perfect nickname, in a sense.

4. John Daly: Wild Thing

Why it's a good nickname: John Daly is golf's resident wild child, although he's toned things down in recent years. Check out the video above for one of his greatest hits. 

Why it's here: Although the name sounds a bit lame in itself, John Daly is the PGA Tour's wild thing. The name is essential to the Daly brand.

3. Ernie Els: The Big Easy

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Why it's a good nickname: Ernie Els is big (6'3"), and he has an easy, effortlessly powerful golf swing. Pretty simple. 

Why it's here: Few nicknames are more essential to player's brands and legacies than Ernie Els'. Plus, the name has spawned a spinoff (Michelle Wie: the Big Wiesy). What other nickname can boast that?

2. Jesper Parnevik: Spaceman

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Why it's a good nickname: For a guy widely rumored to have eaten volcanic dust as a nutritional supplement, per the Independent's James Lawton, and who starred in a "Gangnam Style" parody, Spaceman is spot on. 

Why it's here: The best way to describe Jesper Parnevik? He's a human being, sure, but he's not really of this world. Thus, he's a spaceman. Few other names are so spot-on in suggesting the incredibly strange personality of an individual.

1. Phil Mickelson: FIGJAM

Why it's a good nickname: While some call Phil Mickelson "Lefty" or "Phil the Thrill," "FIGJAM" is what his fellow players referred to the free-swinging upstart. The name, which stands for "(Expletive), I'm good. Just ask me," typifies the early Mickelson attitude of overconfidence. 

Why it's here: Unlike most of the other nicknames on this list, Phil Mickelson seems to hate being called FIGJAM. Still, it's the perfect embodiment of his early career personality, and it's the most unique and oddly perfect entry on this list.