A Letter from Pujols the Destroyer

Dear Edward Mujica,

hey Mang, sorry for your luck. I no intend to hurt your knee, Mang. I just no like Padres, Mang.  Ask Chris Young if I like Padres. I hit line shot off his face and watch him bleed.

Ask Josh Bard if I like Padres. I run him over and fold his ankle.

And ask yourself if Albert el Destructor y Conquistador no como Padres. Your knee never be the same again. And your familia de Padres never be the same again. It’s no just current players, either.

I tomo la alma de Archi Cianfracco and transformed him to second base-man named Skip Schumaker.

BEFORE PUJOLS SOUL REPOSSESSION …

AFTER PUJOLS SOUL REPOSSESSION …

Me no like Padres, Mang.

Tell your head Padre Tony Gwynn he and his hijo son mio.

– Albert the Destructor

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