14 Stages of Sports Grief

You’ve heard of the stages of grief, but what about the stages of sports grief?

I want to start by saying that grief is a serious topic. The intention here is not to make light of anyone working through a stage of grief.

The intention is simply to point out how sometimes in sports, we take things way too seriously. When something bad happens in sports—a devastating loss, a major scandal, an injury—it’s only natural to go through a sort of grieving process. 

In her book, On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross lists five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is another model that includes an additional two stages: initial shock and later, guilt. Using the expanded model as a guide, here we have 14 times when a sports figure was in a particular stage of grief.

What happened? How bad was it—Stage 1 or Stage 5? For example, Stage 1 shock is when you lose a closely contested Super Bowl on the final play. Stage 5 shock is when you get beat down 7-1 in the World Cup. 

Shock: I Can’t Believe We Lost

Stage: 1

The Seattle Seahawks came painfully close to taking the lead at the end of Super Bowl XLIX only to have it snatched away by a Malcolm Butler interception.

Richard Sherman sat on the sideline and watched in disbelief as the Patriots took over at the 1-yard line with just seconds remaining. Displaying a combination of shock and horror, Sherman’s face said it all.

Shock: I Can’t Believe We Lost so Badly

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Stage: 5

Brazil was the host nation and an early favorite to win the 2014 FIFA World Cup. A setback occurred when superstar Neymar went down with a back injury. 

Facing juggernaut Germany without its best player in the semifinal, things didn’t go well for Brazil. Actually, that's an understatement. Germany scored five goals in the first half and seven total to absolutely stun the hosts, 7-1.   

Fans in the stadium—and around the world—were in complete shock.

Denial: I Didn’t Do It

Tom Pennington/Getty Images

Stage: 1

More than a few professional athletes have been accused of using performance enhancing drugs over the years. Sometimes, such as in the case of Lance Armstrong, initial denial later turned to admission.  

Armstrong faced doping accusations on several occasions over the course of his cycling career, a career that consisted of seven Tour de France titles. Then, in January 2013, Armstrong openly admitted to doping in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. 

Armstrong’s titles were stripped, and he received a lifetime ban from cycling.

Denial: This Situation Isn’t so Bad

Aaron Gash/Associated Press

Stage: 5

In January 2015, Kobe Bryant suffered a torn rotator cuff that shelved him for the season. His teammate, Nick Young, ever the optimist, suggested it might not be so bad.

Serena Winters of Lakers Nation (h/t Lakers Nation's Corey Hansford) reported that Young said losing Kobe could be a “blessing in disguise for other people out there to get a chance.”

Um, right. It’s true that Bryant has faced criticism about keeping the ball to himself too much. However, to think losing one of the best players of all time is a blessing for a struggling team—well, that’s called being in denial.

Since Bryant’s injury on January 21, the Lakers have won exactly one game (as of February 5).

Anger: I Will Destroy a Jersey

David Liam Kyle/Getty Images

Stage: 1

Intentionally burning a player’s jersey definitely screams “anger” to me. In 2010, when LeBron James made his infamous choice to leave Cleveland and join the Miami Heat, fans in Cleveland grieved in different ways. 

Some fans set fire to the King’s jerseys. One fan commented on The Decision, the television special on which James made his announcement. The fan, Phoenix Jones, told Michael Scott of The Plain Dealer, “I thought the whole thing was tasteless, despicable, true trash and historic garbage.”

Anger: I Will Destroy My TV

Stage: 5

One Seahawks fan did not take the recent Super Bowl loss very well. He was on team “Hand the Ball to Marshawn Lynch,” and his TV paid the price for his anger.

Bargaining: What If We Got Help?

Wilfredo Lee/Associated Press

Stage: 1

LeBron James’ homecoming in Cleveland hasn’t been without its struggles. The team got off to a slow start, and James has missed time due to injuries.

In January, when James was in Florida recovering from knee and back strains, he reportedly had a conversation with former teammate Ray Allen. According to Dave McMenamin of ESPN, James attempted to convince Allen, currently a free agent, to come and play in Cleveland.

The bad news is that Allen hasn’t come to Cleveland. The good news? It hasn’t seemed to matter—the Cavs had won 12 consecutive games since January 15, with the win streak being snapped by the Indiana Pacers Friday.

Bargaining: What If We Can Get the Call Overturned?

Mike McGinnis/Getty Images

Stage: 5

So often, games come down to controversial calls. A common reaction to such a call is to hope for it to be overturned. Sometimes this is more likely than others, but it’s always a straw to grasp at. 

In the divisional playoff matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and Green Bay Packers, Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant looked to have made an incredible 31-yard catch late in the game on fourth down. Extending the drive would’ve extended the Cowboys’ playoff lives. 

The call on the field was a catch, so the Packers had to be hoping for it to be overturned. They got their wish, and Cowboys fans were left to do some bargaining of their own, crying for a change to the rules. 

Guilt: It Was My Fault

Matt York/Associated Press

Stage: 1

The interception that sent Richard Sherman into shock was the same play that ultimately made Russell Wilson exhibit signs of guilt. 

A lot of folks questioned whether the pass play called was a good one given the situation. Why didn’t head coach Pete Carroll decide to hand the ball off to Marshawn Lynch on 2nd-and-goal? 

Jim Corbett of USA Today reported that Russell Wilson defended his coach by saying, “The message from coach Carroll was he took the blame for it. That wasn't his fault. I put the blame on me for not making that play. I'm the one who threw it. ... I thought it was going to be a touchdown.”

Guilt: I Let My Team Down

Elaine Thompson/Associated Press

Stage: 5

The Green Bay Packers lost an overtime thriller to the Seattle Seahawks in the NFC Championship Game. The Seahawks trailed for much of the contest, but after a late touchdown, they were able to recover an onside kick that helped send the game to overtime.

Packers tight end Brandon Bostick attempted to recover the onside kick, but according to him, his actual assignment on the play was to block. The ball hit off his hands and into the arms of a Seahawks player.

Brandon Wise of CBS Sports reported that Bostick said, “I let my team down, I feel like. There was a lot on this game. I just feel like if I was able to do my job—my assignment was to block—Jordy [Nelson] would've caught the ball and the game would've been over.”

Depression: I Eat My Feelings

Stage: 1

In 2013, Washington State lost a football game, 55-17, to Stanford. But football was secondary to the fan of the night, aka "Popcorn Guy."

This Washington State fan was caught drowning his sorrows in a soggy bag of popcorn as the game winded down. He became such a sensation that there's even a spoofed 30 for 30 trailer about him out there. 

Depression: I Know We’re Just Going to Be Bad

Jason DeCrow/Associated Press

Stage: 5

The New York Knicks are 10-40 (as of February 6). Team president Phil Jackson told Harvey Araton of The New York Times, “So far, my experiment has fallen flat on its face.” 

Marc Berman of the New York Post wrote of Carmelo Anthony’s performance in a recent game, “Anthony played a disinterested 33 minutes, looked slow, old and tired.” 

That sure sounds like the description of someone who has given up. At least from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem like anyone in New York is particularly chipper as of late.

Acceptance: My Life Still Rules

Jordan Strauss/Associated Press

Stage: 1

Aaron Rodgers’ Green Bay Packers lost the NFC Championship Game in devastating fashion, but he definitely doensn't seem to be sitting around sulking. 

In the time since that defeat, Rodgers has chummed it up with Vice President Joe Biden, hung out with his gorgeous actress girlfriend Olivia Munn, surprised a few children from military families and, oh yeah, won the NFL MVP Award.

Acceptance: Fine, I’ll Do My Time

Morry Gash/Associated Press

Stage: 5

Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers was suspected of using PEDs, and even after testing positive in 2011, he denied the claim. 

In 2013, as the Biogensis scandal heated up, Braun admitted to using PEDs and lying about it. He accepted and served a 65-game suspension and has since returned to baseball.