Super Bowl Odds 2015: Patriots vs. Seahawks Final Betting Props and Advice

If you want to bet on football but know nothing about the sport and have no interest in learning, the Super Bowl is a perfect event.

Not only are a majority of games close enough to pick'ems that you're really just selecting a winner—Sunday may become the first outright pick'em in NFL history—but also because of prop bets.

Yes, prop bets. It may shock you, but sportsbooks are interested in making money. Which means you can literally bet on almost anything related to the Super Bowl. Props range from the normal (over/under, yardage totals) to the utterly insane (whether Katy Perry will be wearing a skirt/dress or pants). You can bet on whether Russell Wilson will have a higher yardage total than the United States' average national gas price in cents.

These aren't bets that take a fundamental understanding of a route tree per se; they're the starter kit on the "I Want To Say I Have Money on the Super Bowl" bandwagon. 

And that's perfectly fine. The Super Bowl is supposed to be fun. Prop bets, as dumb as some of them may be, are fun. Breaking out the stopwatch and timing the national anthem is surprisingly exciting when your house is going to be foreclosed if Idina Menzel holds that "braaaaaaave" for an extra second.

So with the game upon us, let's have some fun of our own. Starting now, we're $1,000 richer in fake currency. Let's take a look at the prop bets we'd take with our extra windfall (h/t to Odds Shark for all the props).

Will Marshawn Lynch Grab His [Redacted] After Scoring a TD in the Game? 

Put $50 on Yes (4-1)

I want this to happen for hilarity purposes. I want this to happen really badly. I want this to happen because it'll mean Marshawn Lynch is having a good game, which renders all the eye-roll-inducing coverage of his media silence moot. But mostly, I just want this to happen so I'm amused.

How Many Times Will Katy Perry be Mentioned in the 1st Half?

David J. Phillip/Associated Press

Put $100 on Over 1.5 (even)

Dude, she's the halftime performer. Al Michaels needs to segue out of segments somehow. I might have even bet the over on 1.5 times of the exact phrasing "Stay tuned after the first half because international pop star Katy Perry will be performing."

There will be at least one awkward back and forth between Michaels and Cris Collinsworth in which they pretend to have listened to Katy Perry's music before. If the phrase "I kissed a girl and I liked it" comes out of either of their mouths, we will need to shut 2015 down and skip straight ahead to 2016. Our year will not get any better than that. But yeah, Perry will be mentioned a bunch.

What Color Will Katy Perry's Hair Be When She Begins the Halftime Show?

Put $50 on Black/Brown

I don't think she's gonna be weirding up with the hair. I do not know why I believe this. I just do. It is worth my fake $50 to vindicate my feelings on Katy Perry's hair choices. Please do not judge me.

Groundhog Day Parlay

Gene J. Puskar/Associated Press

Put $250 on Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow and Seahawks Win the Super Bowl 11/4

On behalf of all Pennsylvanians, I'd like to apologize for Groundhog Day. It's so uncool it makes Arbor Day look like Christmas.

Groundhog Day involves waking up before dawn, driving yourself to a remote Pennsylvanian town so you can hang out with people who'd been drinking strong since the previous night and seeing a dude in a top hat grab an unwilling animal.

And then we make weather-based judgements on whether this groundhog sees its shadow, with more than half the population not knowing it's all meaningless. Spoiler alert: Six more weeks of winter is the same as six more weeks until spring. If it weren't for the Declaration of Independence, that is what the state in which I was born and raised would be known for. Ugh.

As for the furry creature, he'll see his shadow because he always does. Flash photography has made it a near impossibility for him to not see his shadow. So what you're really betting on here is the team you think will win. Since my pick is Seattle, we'll take the almost 3-1 odds with great pleasure.

Total Receiving Yards: Julian Edelman

Put $75 on Over 67.5 Yards (Even)

The Patriots will need to throw the ball to win. In particular, they'll need to find the small crevices underneath Pete Carroll's base Cover 3 set. Either Rob Gronkowski or Edelman is going to have a massive, 10-catch game.

Choosing Edelman in this instance comes down to a five-yard cushion in the prop and a general feeling the Seahawks are going to throw wrinkles at Gronkowski to limit his effect. The last time these two teams played, Wes Welker, playing the role Edelman will on Sunday, made 10 receptions for 138 yards and a touchdown.

Expecting Edelman to match that production would be a little much, but all he has to do is make it halfway to hit the over.

Total Rushing Yards: Russell Wilson

USA TODAY Sports

Put $75 on Under 40.5 Yards (Even)

No clue where Vegas got this number. Wilson would have hit the over on 40.5 yards seven times in 18 games (playoffs included) this season. In his last three games, Wilson has rushed for 54 yards total.

Perhaps the oddsmakers are hoping for a mean regression here, but the Patriots are likely to have a spy chasing him around on every play. Bill Belichick knows the read option and lives for finding ways to thwart the best weapon on an opposing offense. The best chance for Wilson to hit the 41-yard mark is having Seattle go down to the point it's in must-pass situations.

As we've already established, that doesn't seem likely in the version of Sunday I envisioned. 

What Color Will the Gatorade (or Liquid) Be That is Dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team?

Put $50 on Yellow (5-2)

Always bet yellow. Yellow never fails. Except when it does.

How Long Will It Take Idina Menzel to Sing the U.S. National Anthem?

Put $100 on Under 2 minutes, 1 second (Even)

After doing extensive research (watching a couple YouTube videos), we're pretty clearly heading toward an under here. In 2007, it took her about a minute and a half. Seven years have extended her rendition a bit—she went right around the two-minute mark at the MLB All-Star Game—but it basically comes down to how Menzel wants to play it.

If she wants to milk the moment, she'll stretch her notes and hit the over. If she wants to sing it well, playing within the better range of her voice, she'll hit the under. Menzel's general professionalism and the nerves of singing at the Super Bowl have me thinking she'll come in under two minutes.

Total Passing Attempts in the Game: Tom Brady

Put $150 on Over 35.5 Attempts (Even)

A team that will be playing behind and using short passes throughout the game to puncture holes in Seattle's secondary.

Tom Brady has thrown at least 35 passes in 14 games this season. He has a weird affinity for the number 35 exactly. He's made exactly 35 attempts six times. He's hit 37 three times. Perhaps this is merely a quirk, but it's certainly an amusing one going back through his game logs.

That was the latest episode of Fun Facts Only I Care About.

MVP

Put $100 on Marshawn Lynch (5-1)

Because duh.

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