Rebooking the 2015 WWE Royal Rumble Match
The 2015 WWE Royal Rumble match felt more like a kidney punch than the celebration of a star's rise.
Blame WWE for misreading its audience and underestimating fans' passion for Daniel Bryan for the second year in a row. The anti-climactic Rumble not only fit Roman Reigns with a crown fans weren't ready to seem him wear but featured a succession of missed opportunities.
Not enough was made of The Miz and Damien Mizdow's tension. Randy Orton remained on the sidelines. The Rock came in too late, walking onto a pile of ashes to save a burning building.
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The following is a reimagining of the Rumble, one that harnesses those elements better, allows more wrestlers to shine and doesn't leave the arena filled with fans chanting for a man long after he had been eliminated.
No. 1 and No. 2
The Miz is first. He saunters into the ring awaiting his opponent. Damien Mizdow enters second.
The Miz tries to order Mizdow to eliminate himself. The stunt double mirrors The Miz at first and then considers doing as he is told, even to the point of lifting one leg over the rope. He changes his mind, though. That infuriates The Miz, who shoves his protege.
They tease a fight. Just as they look ready to start throwing blows, Bray Wyatt enters.
This is a far better way to move toward the inevitable Miz and Mizdow battle. They don't actually fight, but the tension between them is clear. Plus, you get the fun moment featuring Miz's and Mizdow's bickering to kick things off.
Bray Wyatt's Destructive Wake
Wyatt clotheslines both men to the floor. He stomps and slams them with no mercy. He tosses The Miz over the top rope.
Mizdow thinks of mirroring The Miz, of flying out of the ring as well. In the midst of his indecision, though, Wyatt strikes.
The Eater of Worlds is left alone.
The Boogeyman is a surprise entrant. He and Wyatt try to out-weird each other like they did at the actual Rumble. Wyatt ends it with Sister Abigail, eliminating his face-painted foe.
Curtis Axel, R-Truth and Bubba Ray Dudley are next up. Wyatt tosses out R-Truth. Dudley handles Axel.
That leaves Dudley and Wyatt alone. The monster wins an intense brawl, getting his fifth elimination of the night. Wyatt gets to play the dominator, much like he did in the actual Rumble.
Meanwhile, an angry Axel knocks out a referee in frustration, leaving him out cold, face-down outside the ring.
The Ring Gets Crowded
Dean Ambrose enters next. He and Wyatt slug it out as they have done so often in the recent past.
Bo Dallas, Big E, Stardust and Ryback soon follow. Big E and Dallas clash as a nod to their NXT feud, and Ryback and Stardust do battle while Ambrose and Wyatt tear at each other's throats.
Eventually, Dallas and Wyatt stare each other down. They hesitate to fight at first, seemingly sharing a moment of recognition. Having the two brothers face off is fun and a nod to the audience, as WWE doesn't acknowledge their relationship in storylines.
As they begin to brawl, Ambrose runs in and tosses Dallas over the top rope.
Goldust enters but doesn't stay long. On the other side of the ring, Ryback flings Stardust into the ropes, which sends Goldust flying off the ring apron. Goldust barks at his brother, not realizing it wasn't his fault.
That opens the door for those two brothers to feud, leading to a WrestleMania match a long time in the making.
Soon after that, Kofi Kingston enters. He and Big E work together against Wyatt.
Adrian Neville soon follows.
Kofi Passes the Torch
Shortly after Neville enters, he and Kingston end up locking horns. They both hit each other with springboard moves and high-flying offense.
Neville tries to throw Kingston over the top rope, but Big E catches Kingston in midair, just in time. Kingston then goes after Neville, sending him outside the ring. Neville, though, manages to land on the fallen referee whom Axel knocked out.
The former NXT champ then hops back in the ring to fight on.
WWE would be wise to have other stars have a Kingston-like moment. This is a fun way to introduce Neville, setting up his eventual call-up to the main roster.
The Eliminations Pick Up
The countdown reaches zero once more, and Rusev storms down to the ring. He and Ryback brawl right away. It's a vicious, short-lived collision that Rusev wins.
A pair of superkicks stun Ryback, allowing The Bulgarian Brute to toss him out. That adds fuel to their feud and gives Rusev a big elimination to start off his second Rumble match.
Rusev then overpowers Big E, sending him over the top rope. Ambrose does the same to Stardust. Neville and Kingston battle again, but this time the Englishman sends Kingston to the showers.
Luke Harper charges in. He takes on Neville, ending the NXT standout's celebration early.
Reigns Enters a Den of Lions
Kane, Bad News Barrett and Big Show all enter in a row. They gang up on the babyfaces in the ring, throttling Ambrose and whipping Big E.
Roman Reigns enters next. The trio of heels are waiting for him. They gang up on him, focusing on his right arm. When they are done, Reigns is barely able to stand and winces as he clutches his limp arm to his body.
Reigns will then have sympathy for the rest of the match, showing off how gutsy he is, especially if he can make it seem like a legit injury.
A Warrior Arrives
Bryan dashes into the ring, going on a running dropkick spree. He steamrolls Barrett, Kane and Company.
The former WWE champ hits a flying knee that sends Barrett over the top. Bryan then attacks Kane like a crazed pit bull before eliminating him as well.
Reigns fights through his pain, delivering his signature moves with his left hand. Big Show charges at him, but Reigns sidesteps him and helps him tumble out of the ring.
This is a chance to make both Bryan and Reigns look strong. Bryan's cavalry role is sure to get the crowd hyped.
Chaos Before the Climax
Cesaro, Diamond Dallas Page and Zack Ryder are the next three entrants. Page hits a Diamond Cutter on Cesaro to get his memorable moment of the night.
Page and Bryan then work together to oust Rusev.
Rusev is furious. He pulls Ryder out of the ring, eliminating him and sending him crashing into the security barricade. Even in defeat, the U.S. champ looks powerful.
Cesaro goes on a roll, tossing out his old foe Ambrose and getting some payback on Page.
That should be plenty of time for The Lunatic Fringe to have been the match's iron man, which lets him gain some momentum from this match without getting the win.
Dolph Ziggler, Tyson Kidd and Jack Swagger are in next. Ziggler meets Harper once more, this time eliminating him from the Rumble. Kidd and Cesaro team up to take out Swagger and then Ziggler.
Randy Orton bursts in as a surprise entrant. His first order of duty is to take out Kidd.
The Rock is No. 30. He sends Cesaro flying over the top rope. That leaves just four men in the bout.
The Final Four
Bryan, Orton, The Rock and Reigns all stand in different corners, eyeing each other warily.
In the booking that WWE actually went with, the final four men were Kane, Big Show, Reigns and an out-of-sight Rusev. Kane and Big Show weren't real contenders, so the drama of those final moments was minimal at best. The four suggested above could all realistically win.
That leaves the result in doubt and the audience engaged.
Bryan then clashes with The Rock while Orton and Reigns trade right hands. Meanwhile, Seth Rollins slips into the picture. He nails Orton with the Money in the Bank briefcase and pulls him out of the ring.
Orton and Rollins brawl into the stands.
The Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Bryan and appears to be closing in on an elimination when Rusev returns, barking at him. The Brahma Bull is distracted enough that Bryan has a chance to send him out of the ring. Rusev retreats to avoid The Rock, who seeks retribution.
WWE then has the option to go with The Rock vs. Rusev for WrestleMania or even just to have The Rock in John Cena's corner if he's the one to face the Russian bruiser. At the very least, it gives Rusev a big heel moment by interacting with a star of The Rock's caliber again.
Only Reigns and Bryan remain.
The two favorites make it to the end. Real suspense is created because these are the men expected to take home the victory, and fans are sure to be enthralled as they wait to see how actually gets the nod.
Bryan and Reigns stare each other down, a moment made interesting by their difference in size. They shake hands as a show of respect before they get to work beating on each other.
Reigns tosses Bryan around the best he can with just one good arm. Bryan focuses on that weak point, kicking it with thunderous shots.
Eventually, Bryan wins out, sending Reigns onto the floor.
Reigns is hurting on the outside, his arm obviously bothering him. More than that, coming up just short for the second year in a row clearly hurts Reigns as well. The Rock comes out to console him, assisting him to the back as Bryan celebrates.
Bryan is the man fans want right now. Reigns will rise to the top, but he needs to do so organically.
This Rumble should be used to build toward the next one for him. He then enters looking to overcome his past failings, his inability to finish out these bouts. That's a better story than the one WWE told this year.
It's Bryan's time now. This version of the Rumble is built around that.
It adheres to the two essentials of pro wrestling booking that WWE ignored this year and last, namely a) the fans decide who the stars are and b) always ride the hot hand.
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