10 Craziest Products That Athletes Have Tried to Sell You

You know those infomercials that we all stay up way too late watching while we're still trying to keep a drunken party going on a Friday night?

Yeah, you definitely do.

Well, as cheesy as they are in trying to convince us to buy a product via a guy who's yelling at us and showing the magnificent wonders the thing does, athletes have tried their hands at similar strategies.

That's right—just when you thought players were only known for trying to sell shoes or athletic gear, a few of them have gone off and tried to sell these crazy products.

Here's a hint—they aren't anything you should buy.

Honorable Mention: Pete Rose (Kool-Aid)

There are plenty of sports drinks out there that can quench an athlete's thirst during competition, but what better way to hydrate yourself than some sugary, sticky Kool-Aid?

That's the message that MLB hits king Pete Rose is giving here—with a bunch of kids, no less.

This commercial was clearly filmed sometime during an era when drugs were more prevalent, right? Because after watching it several times and hearing that "Hot Kids" theme song playing throughout, I honestly think the Kool-Aid people expected the audience to be stoned off something to crave the drink.

Frankly, it's a creepy commercial that is random as hell.

Karl Malone (Shape-Ups for Men)

When I think about Skechers Shape-Up shoes, very rarely do I imagine a former NBA basketball players such as Karl Malone, who played in 14 All-Star Games and finished as the second-leading scorer in league history.

No offense to the guy, but, well, he's in shape.

Generally, people who wear these things are middle-aged women who want to try and get a little bit more tone in their butt and walk around the neighborhood in a velvet tracksuit.

Apparently, though, the Mailman delivers Shape-Ups to those who want them.

Jimmy Johnson (Extenze)

As former college and NFL head coach and current analyst Jimmy Johnson pitches the natural male enhancement pill Extenze, I can't help but pick up on a little bit of an inferiority complex.

I mean, why else do you think he leads the commercial by mentioning how successful he has been as a coach, winning national titles and numerous Super Bowls?

Sure, every dude wants to be well-endowed, but few people are prancing around announcing how they're actively seeking something to get them there.

Oh, Jimmy, just stick to having your perfect hair and talking about football—because us fans don't like imagining the size of little Jimmy.

Ric Flair (North Carolina Education Lottery)

I don't even know where to begin with this one.

From the initial "Woo!" the old lady gives the cashier to try and explain which lottery ticket she wants, to wrestler Ric Flair magically entering the convenience store as if he was coming into the ring, it's about as cheesy as possible.

And when you actually sit back and think about what they're trying to sell—Ric Flair-inspired lottery tickets—it makes about as much sense as a jockey riding a donkey in the Kentucky Derby.

Yes, that means none at all.

Marshawn Lynch (Beacon Plumbing)

As someone who lives in Seattle, I see this Marshawn Lynch commercial way too often.

And as someone who knows the man they call Beast Mode personally, I find it hilarious every single time I watch it.

Sure, it's random to think that Lynch is promoting plumbing services. But it's even funnier when you see him nonchalantly unclog the kitchen sink, remove a toilet from the bathroom and, wait for it, bust through a wall to remind people to, "stop freakin', call Beacon."

Lynch might get fined for not talking to the media, but he's totally OK with telling viewers which plumbing service they should use.

Pat Jennings (Unipart Oil Filters)

For those who might not know who Pat Jennings was, he is often talked about as being one of the better soccer players to ever suit up for historic English Premier League team Arsenal.

Boy did he really let himself go in this ad, though.

Strapping on a human-sized oil filter and standing between the pipes, Jennings made diving saves to show how an oil filter is similar to a goalie.

Yeah. I'm still figuring out why Unipart Oil Filters decided this was the route to go too.

Hulk Hogan (Pastamania)

I had no idea that wrestling legend Hulk Hogan was such a Chef Boyardee fan.

Hoping to duplicate the success the that instant pasta had, the Hulkster opened his own restaurant called Pastamania, giving a little shout-out to the Hulkamania persona that he uses.

It's not strange to see an athlete open a restaurant. But it is a little weird when the entire promotion for that establishment seems more like a set-up wrestling scene than anything else.

Mike Ditka, Dennis Rodman, Jim McMahon, William Perry (Silestone)

What happens when you get four sports legends from the city of Chicago and put them in one commercial together? Whatever the hell this is.

Giving the impression that they're some sort of elite club by saying, "Diana Pearl," former Chicago Bears players Jim McMahon and William Perry, along with their head coach Mike Ditka might make you think that whatever they're selling you is going to be great—until you figure out what it actually is.

Finding out that it's just a bunch of quartz products is a serious letdown.

What's worse, though, is when the camera pans to a half-naked Dennis Rodman scrubbing himself in a tub, making everyone's worst nightmares come true.

Joe Namath (Beauty Mist Pantyhose)

Joe Namath may have been, in my opinion, wrongfully inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame when looking at his playing stats. But one thing that's not up for debate is the Hall of Fame-worthy advert Broadway Joe did for Beauty Mist Pantyhose.

Well, if the Hall of Fame eligibility requirement is to be as weird as possible, of course.

Seeing a Super Bowl-winning quarterback laying on his side and promoting leggings for women isn't something any of the current guys playing would do, but, for Namath, it was just a part of his wild personality.

And it's freaking me out a little bit.

Various New York Rangers Players (Sasson Jeans)

OK, so a bunch of guys trying to sell jeans might not be too strange when you look at things on the surface.

But when those guys happen to be members of the New York Rangers and are prancing around like figure skaters, this commercial for Sasson jeans gets a little weirder.

Making this ad even more bizarre is that the players—Phil Esposito, Ron Duguay, Don Maloney, Ron Greschner and Anders Hedberg—actually did more than one of these, hoping that their moves on the ice would lead to some serious coin for the company.

Rosey Grier (Job Corps and Needlepoint for Men)

When you think of a guy who's 6'5" and 285 pounds, the last thing that might come to mind is needlepoint sewing, right?

If that's the case, then you might want to reintroduce yourself to three-time All-Pro former NFL player Rosey Grier, because he has some serious news for you.

Back in the 1970s, Grier actually released a series of needlepoints that were designed specifically for males to get into the hobby.

Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't think it sold many units.