Dear Awesome Eldin™: Le Professor Edition

After spending some time on B/R I started receiving mail from celebrities asking for my advice on different topics, while I sadly did not receive these individual's names due to the seriousness of the issues addressed, I can however show their letters to the public.

Note: The following letter is from a man I hold dear to my heart, I was honored by his letter seeking my advice.

However, I will still be fair and swift regarding my advice.

Dear Awesome Eldin™

I am the manager who has been treated like a dog by the media, and everyone has been attacking me constantly.

But you see Monsieur Awesome™, no one understands how hard it is to run the team with almost no money.

Monsieur Awesome™, the fans are crazy, they want me to buy players that would cost me over £2 million, don't they know how many thousands are in those £2 million?

I would prefer to keep them safe in my pocket for all eternity.

Also Monsieur Awesome™, the people have been calling me a racist, saying that I only buy well-built black people who speak French, or pretty white boys with extremely silky smooth hair.

Why are they blaming me for having the most attractive squad in the history of football, don't they know how hard it is to find such strength, don't they know how hard it is to find such beauty?

Please Monsieur Awesome™ help me, I consider you as my own son, why, if I had a boy I would've called him Awesome Eldin™.

I hope to hear from you soon...My son.

Thanks for your help.

Le Professor

Note: While I am indeed a fan of the great man that sent me this letter, I intend to be 100 percent fair regarding my criticism towards Le Professor, I assure you that you will not see any fanboyism coming out of my mouth.

Dear Professor

Thank you for sending me this letter.

I would like to say...that you are FRIGGIN AWESOME™.

You're the greatest manager that ever lived, you are the best there is in existence, you are the best there is in the history of the universe.

You are better than Sir Red Nose, Rafa the penguin, and that Italian guy that looks like Super Mario without the moustache combined.

YOU ROCK!! Not once have you made a mistake, you are perfection personified.

I still believe in you, those fools are just jealous. Maybe half our players are too injured to function, but boy doesn't their hair look lovely? They just wave it in slow motion and the fans go wild.

You are the king of the universe, and you will win everything this season.

In Le Professor we trust.

If I ever have a son, I promise you that I'll call him Awesome Eldin Jr.™, there is nothing that you can't achieve.

However, the fans wouldn't mind you spending a few millions on a few good players, it might be money well spent.

I hope to hear from you again soon.

Yours Truly,

Awesome Eldin™.

Note: Eldin, Awesome Eldin and Awesome are all trademarks of Mohamed Eldin Masri, any illegal use of these words will result in a law suit followed by endless punching in the nuts.

You have been warned.