This Is Not a Sandwich, Drew Brees

Let's start with this: I love me some Drew Brees.

Some of my happiest sports moments in life have come courtesy of his marvelous, surgically repaired android shoulder and the throws it can make. He is the only Boilermaker with a standing invitation to borrow my conditioner without asking.

With this said, I have a big problem with some of Brees' recent conduct—or, more specifically, his decision to make a "sandwich" out of a pancake.

The offending entree was made public Monday when Brees tweeted a picture of a strip of bacon and several chunks of banana resting atop a particularly gamy-looking flapjack.

This, Brees posits, is a pancake sandwich. The biggest problem with this, of course, is that it is not a sandwich.

Sandwiches, by definition, are formed by at least two independent slices of bread or material.

Brees' creation is not a sandwich. It is a single pancake with fixings.

Ignoring the point that a pancake should never be used to conceal, carry or otherwise ferry meat, this should at best be considered a potential pancake wrap or taco.

On a more positive note, Brees is trying. Sort of.

Bacon and banana bits aren't exactly the high ropes course of morning foods, but pancake as a food is a bridge too far for most inexperienced chefs. The fact that Brees is even willing to tangle with this edible concrete batter is worthy of praise, although execution clearly continues to be an issue for the well-intentioned Saints in the offseason.

Brush it off, Drew. We'll chalk this up to a misunderstanding and move on to the great scrambled eggs debate: milk or no milk?

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