White Elephant Christmas MMA Edition: Jones, McGregor and CM Punk Exchange Gifts

If you work in a particularly horrid office environment, you may be familiar with the "White Elephant Christmas" tradition. The basics are simple—everyone brings gifts and puts them in a giant pile. You draw a number and pick in order.

Everyone brings something. Everyone leaves with something.

Simple, right? Nice even.

But there's a twist. There's always a twist.

Those who follow you in line get the chance to "steal" your gift rather than pick their own. This leads, inevitably, to people stealing the one thing that isn't disposable crap over and over again, hurting feelings and morale in the process.

Sounds perfect for MMA! After all, this is the hurt business—why not add hurt feelings to the mix? Let's assume, then, that every fighter has been given a set of natural gifts. I will now proceed to steal them and gift them to another fighter who needs them even more.

The result will be athletes suddenly ready to take 2015 by storm. Happy Holidays! Share your own White Elephant Christmas gifts, and any hurt feelings, in the comments below.

To Conor McGregor: Robbie Lawler's Takedown Defense

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The UFC has a big star on its hands in the form of Irish striking sensation Conor McGregor. No fighter since Ronda Rousey has taken the MMA scene by storm quite the way McGregor has, painting himself into the fabric of the sport's culture with deceptive ease.

McGregor's sophisticated striking attack is ready-made to enter the cage with anyone in the division. In fact, it may be the perfect system to upset the rhythm of the muay thai stylists who currently control the featherweight scene.

But a potential deal breaker lingers—his wrestling game. Hold off on the coronation. Because, until he proves otherwise, McGregor may not have the tools to compete with the best of the division's grapplers and wrestlers.

This is where Robbie Lawler comes in. The new welterweight champion defended 20 of former NCAA champion Johny Hendricks' 27 takedown attempts in their two bouts for Georges St-Pierre's abandoned strap. If McGregor can match that, he may have the shiny belt he needs to hold up the pants on his $5,000 suits.

To Robbie Lawler: Conor McGregor's Gift for Gab

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UFC matchmaker Joe Silva is a talkative guy. You'd never know it from his low profile in the press, but the man has a real gift for finding the narrative that resides in each and every major UFC fight—and for a long time he would sit in on the fighter interviews to try to draw out the emotion and the story lurking just underneath the surface.

For the most part this was an extremely successful endeavor. Fighters said what needed to be said to attract interest to the fight. The UFC, then, made bundles of cash selling pay-per-views. It was an assembly-line process after a point, something that simply happened like clockwork.

Except for Robbie Lawler.

Try as he might, Silva and the UFC's production team just couldn't get Lawler to open up. He told amazing stories in the cage, with his fights all too often devolving into primal contests of will. But before the fight? Before the fight Lawler was a promoter's worst nightmare.

To be fair, Lawler is much better than he once was. He's capitulating to interviews these days, even opening up about his life and his approach to fighting. But you're never going to confuse him for a deep well of charisma like Conor McGregor—and that may be all he's lacking to transform from a mere "star" into a "superstar."

To Jon Jones: Floyd Mayweather's Sense of Self

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Poor Jon Jones.

The UFC's light heavyweight champion is arguably the greatest mixed martial arts fighter of all time. His record is unparalleled, and his skill set is the wonder of the combat sports world. Unfortunately, despite this inarguable excellence, his pay-per-view track record isn't equal to his accomplishments in the cage.

Why that's the case has become one of MMA's great mysteries. But one of the most frequently cited rationales is Jones' perceived lack of authenticity.

He is cocky. He's gifted. He's achieved more than most athletes ever will. He knows it.

But rather than embracing his inner Terrell Owens, Jones has insisted on playing the role of the humble athlete, concerned with his "brand" above all else.

Floyd "Money" Mayweather Jr. once walked that same path. Once known as "Pretty Boy" Floyd, Mayweather used to put on a fake saccharine smile and do his best "Sugar" Ray Leonard impression. It was fooling no one.

Jones isn't fooling anybody either. Be who you are. Stop chasing fans, desperately crafting a false image you can't possibly live up to. That, more than any fleeting sponsor check, is the ticket to big money in the world of pay-per-view. And, for now, that's where the big money resides. 

No one likes the reek of desperation or the whiff of trying too hard. It's a fan repellent. Be yourself, Jon Jones—and they will come to you.

To CM Punk: Ben Askren's Realism

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After 20 years, a certain mythology has built up around mixed martial arts. The cage is the ultimate proving ground, and at this point it's hard for anyone to argue against the obvious—MMA fighters are the toughest hand-to-hand combatants on the planet.

It's a reputation that has attracted the wannabe tough guys and rugged individualists in droves, including any number of celebrities who see themselves and the fighters they admire as kindred spirits.

Many of these fringe MMA personalities get on the mat too, becoming more than just passive spectators. They get down and mix it up—and I admire that.

But there's a fine line between testing yourself at the local gym and cosplaying fighter the way Mickey Rourke has to disastrously embarrassing results. As of yet, the UFC hasn't devolved to pseudo-fights between celebrities. There's something about gym culture that discourages that, opening eyes and revealing hard truths.

By his own admission, CM Punk hasn't learned those hard lessons. He's careful about who he trains with. He hasn't done any real sparring. He's still living his MMA Fantasy Camp experience—but the Octagon is not where you want to have your rude awakening.

Here's hoping someone can get CM Punk to borrow Ben Askren's realistic outlook. It would be easy for Askren to bow to pressure from critics and mix it up more in his fights. But he understands where his strengths lie and where his weaknesses lurk.

Askren doesn't try to do more than he can. Or, rather, more than he should. Perhaps Punk, too, would benefit from that kind of honest self-assessment.

And, hey, you never know—maybe Kingdom is looking for a big name to anchor its second season? That would allow Punk to immerse himself in MMA culture without pretending he's a pro fighter. That's a proper homage to something you love.