Tigers-Orioles | A Clunker On and Off The Field

A fan's two worst nightmares: attending the game your team is having “one of those nights” and the guy that has an opinion on everything and knowledge of nothing.

Over the course of a 162 game schedule games like Tuesday night’s are unavoidable.  It is a game that just isn’t much fun to sit through from the first pitch.  Add to that the uninformed cynic sitting behind me and I wanted to be just about anywhere but Detroit last night. (Hold the jokes, please)

Jarrod Washburn did not have the type of start that he had been accustomed to while in a Mariner uniform.  On top of that, the Tigers offense had exactly the type of game they have routinely produced.

I can handle a bad loss now and then; you can see the box score for the bloody details of what happened on the field.  Here is a run down of the horror show I heard from section 324.

Wilikin Ramirez steps to the plate:

“This is the guy that is playing for “Chet” Thomas.  He’s batting first but he’s playing where “Chet” played in the field.

Hmm….Chet Thomas.  Nice.

You would think the guy that hits a walk-off home run to straight away center field the previous night would deserve the respect of getting his name right.  Maybe I should have given the guy the benefit of the doubt.  It has only been 19 years since Chet Lemon played in the Tigers outfield.

If Baltimore’s run in the top of the first didn’t already tell me, now I knew I was in for a long night.

Magglio Ordonez comes up to bat:

“This guy has just lost all his confidence.  I think he was one of the guys on steroids.”

Great, I have Dr. Phil and a lead investigator of the Mitchell Report sitting behind me.

The Orioles put a ball in play:

“That one is up the gap!”

Technically it was up the gap.  It was also a relatively routine fly ball.

Right handed batter, bouncing foul ball to the left side:

“He was a little in front of that one.”

Sweet, I get to watch this horrible game with Tim McCarver narrating the whole thing.

Naturally, the one time a comment did not fly was when Clete Thomas was announced as a pinch hitter.  This silence unfortunately only lasted until Thomas’s first pitch bounce out.

As to be expected of a card carrying member of the peanut gallery, my new friend bowed out a bit early.  The Tigers couldn’t muster a comeback, but it’s the thought that counts.  Then again, there wasn’t much thought put into anything I heard, so why should I be surprised.

If anyone can help me navigate the federal government’s cash for clunkers website, please let me know.  They told me it only applies to cars, but I am definitely owed something.  The check’s in the mail, I’m sure.

This article is also featured on Tigers 2-Knight