Old Spice Needs to get its Swagger back

No one at this extravagant sports outlet has a problem when a brand of deodorant markets itself as Swagger. Swagger is an important element to society and is something that should be promoted whenever possible. Lord already knows how difficult it is to get your Swagger back after losing it. It’s no longer about Swagger, though.

I don’t know about you, but if there’s one thing that enhances my appetite for sports news, knowledge and opinion, it’s “Residue” trickling down what appear to be pubic hairs — or at the very least, arm pit hair. For the full effect, you can click the photo and marvel …

Seriously guys, it’s time to end the “Residue is evil” ad campaign.

Crap that actually came from somebody’s mouth

“The big right hander, the Opening Day starter for the fourth year in a row, Aaron Harang.” - Dan Schulman

Nothing wrong with this comment, it’s just funny to be known as the Opening Day starter for the Reds for four straight years. It’s kind of like winning manager of the year for four straight years at Arby’s.

“Nothing better than a National League pitcher who can use the bat.” - Orel Hershiser

Dangerous words coming from a pitcher turned mad man. Don’t let that guy hold a bat.

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SI Photo Gallery Missing something …

Speaking of Dodgers photos, SI.com recently had “Iconic Dodgers Photos” for readers and fans to scroll through. The online slideshow included 24 famous pics, including the day that Brett Butler shook Tommy LaSorda’s hand.

And the time Mike Piazza dressed up like a Chicago gangster circa 1928.

There are a few other ones that cause head-scratching, so check it out — and then wonder how in the hell Kirk Gibson’s World Series home run failed to make the list of 24 Iconic Dodgers Photos given that it’s one of the greatest home runs IN BASEBALL HISTORY. That’s right, I bold-ed those words because I’m so fired up. BOLD-ED!

Jason Brown wants Marc Bulger to get comfy with his ass

The former Ravens lineman turned Rams center explains his philosophy for adjusting to his new quarterback.

“Mainly it’s him getting to know my rear end, and him being comfortable with his hands underneath my rear end … He’s checking my oil every day.’’

“I’m used to Kyle (Boller) being under there in Baltimore. When you have a new guy back there, it’s like, ‘Easy buddy, be gentle.’ Some guys like to really get under there and raise their hands up, and it’s like, ‘Hey, I’m a person.’’’

Given his recent history on the field, if Marc Bulger crosses the line and touches Jason Brown’s fanny too hard, it will mark the first time a quarterback gets sacked by his own center. Gives the Rams something to shoot for going forward this season.

Stupid Story of the Week

Appreciate the hard work and insight as always, fellas.

Confirmed: ESPN Sucks the Fun out Sports

This is ESPN’s Tweet on their new “social media policy”:

“We have been active in the social media space for a while. As our mission is to serve sports fans, we will continue to be active. We are now merely getting smarter about it by providing guidelines to commentators and reporters.”

You guys are complete dorks. Quit treating sports like serious news. (Note: if you’re wondering what this new policy is, check it out here.)

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