Power Ranking Legendary Press Conferences

Ninety-nine percent of the time a press conference, regardless of whether the person speaking is a coach or an athlete, is a bland affair—saturated with cautiously chosen words that rarely stray from "coachspeak."

Bland doesn't mean the typical presser is devoid of information, it just means that the information is delivered without animus and its content isn't likely to make the cover of the sports page.

A small but significant part of a coach or player's job is to be available to the media as a de facto spokesperson, so the last thing anyone wants to do is rock the boat without the boss' blessing.

So, when a press conference strays from the script and an athlete or coach lets their emotions get the better of them, or decides it's the perfect moment to offer their unfiltered thoughts—or both—the result can be epic.

Whether unleashing their disgust with the press, venting about the team or going on a rant that really can't be categorized one way or the other, these are the most legendary press conferences.

Wes Welker Puts His Foot Down on Rex Ryan's Dignity

The Line: [11 foot references in one press conference]

Prior to a playoff game against the division rival New York Jets in January 2011, wide receiver Wes Welker, then with the Patriots, broke the Bill Belichick code of no fun and silence by jam-packing 11 different "foot" references into a single press conference. The mentions were in reference to a story that broke weeks earlier about Jets coach Rex Ryan and his wife. 

Anger: 0 
Craziness: 1 [Breaking the Belichick code was the craziest part.]
Humor: 10 [Hilarious, clever and very well planned.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 3 [The jabs at Ryan were on point, but they didn’t work that well as actual answers to actual questions.]

Total: 14

Mike Singletary Knows How to Make an Entrance

The Line: "Our formula is this: We go out, we hit people in the mouth, No. 1. No. 2, we’re not a charity."

Taking over midseason as coach of the middling San Francisco 49ers in October 2008, Hall of Fame linebacker Mike Singletary took a very interesting approach to discussing the team following an embarrassing loss to the Seattle Seahawks. Not the least bit shy about naming names, Singletary unleashed on tight end Vernon Davis, who he called out for not being a team player, and apologized for the Niners' generalized crapulence. 

Anger: 5 [We’ve all seen him angrier.]
Craziness: 9 [At least he didn’t pull his pants down.]
Humor: 0 [It’s too awkward to be funny, even unintentionally.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 0 [Uh, besides not liking Vernon Davis, not really.]

Total: 14

Bob Knight Consults His Crystal Glass of Water

The Line: "This is a goddamn cheap piece of crystal here. This isn’t expensive enough to answer all those questions!"

Legendary college hoops coach Bob Knight is probably just as famous for his uncontrollable temper and violent outbursts as anything his teams have done on the court over the years. But this hilarious moment from a press conference during the 1993 NCAA tournament is proof he isn’t all screaming and chair throwing. When asked by a reporter to speculate about the following season, Knight mockingly treats his water glass as an oracle, first rubbing it like a genie’s lamp and then peering into it like a crystal ball. 

Anger: 1 [He’s always at least a little angry.]
Craziness: 0 [It doesn’t come across as unhinged.]
Humor: 10 [The huge laugh after the reporter basically repeats the same question is the best moment.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 5 [Yes. He can’t see the future, but he definitely took the long way to get there.]

Total: 16

Take Barry Hinson's Wife, Please!

The Line: "My wife—my wife!—can score more than two buckets on 11 shots because I know my wife will at least shot fake one time." 

In December 2013 Southern Illinois basketball coach Barry Hinson went just a tad overboard in criticizing his players (and complimenting his wife?) after a 73-65 loss to Murray State. He called out Marcus Fillyaw by name as “absolutely awful,” explaining that was as “PG-rated” as it gets. Perhaps emboldened by chuckles in the room, Hinson went on and on as if he were at an open-mic night. 

Anger: 5 [There’s a lot of loud finger-pointing, but the anger part feels almost forced.]
Craziness: 4 [His poor wife probably didn’t enjoy being dragged into all this.]
Humor: 6 [Jokes aren’t very funny, but there sure are a lot of them.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 2 [Most of the message is lost among clunky zingers.]

Total: 17

Derek Anderson Wasn’t Laughing When He Was Laughing

The Line: "It wasn’t funny. I wasn’t laughing about anything."

After suffering an embarrassing loss to the division rival 49ers on Monday Night Football in November 2010, then-Arizona Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson freaked out at a reporter who asked him why he was laughing on the sideline late in the game. Despite the laughing being witnessed by millions of people, Anderson angrily denied any laughing occurred, insisting the seriousness of football basically precludes the possibility of laughter. 

Anger: 8 [Initially he denies it, but quickly embarks on a rage spiral and eventually storms off.]
Craziness: 10 [It’s crazy because he was laughing!]
Humor: 0 [Based on Anderson’s own assessment.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 0 [Nobody was laughing, got it.]

Total: 18

Ron Artest Loves Him Some Wheaties

The Line: "I’ve got Wheaties!!!"

In June 2010, the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals, giving Kobe Bryant his fifth championship with the franchise. Forget the ring though, immediately following Game 7 the only thing Ron Artest seemed to have on his mind was Wheaties—later on in the night it was vodka. Artest even jokingly threatens to walk out when the media fails to share his enthusiasm for the cereal. 

Anger: 0 [Surprisingly enough.]
Craziness: 10 [As usual.]
Humor: 10 [Probably intentional, but it’s so hard to tell.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 0 [He rarely does.]

Total: 20

Bill Parcells Totally Serves Dallas Media

The Line: "Consider yourself sucked."

In December 2006, Bill Parcells, then-coach of the Dallas Cowboys, was asked a question about the latest Terrell Owens shenanigans by a member of the Dallas media. He calmly mocked an entire room’s worth of reporters for continually getting sucked in by TO’s manufactured drama. And it was perfect. 

Anger: 0 [He’s not even having it.]
Craziness: 0 [Seriously, not having it.]
Humor: 10 [His “you got sucked” bit seemed intentionally funny, not like when an old person says something like that and doesn’t realize it has other connotations.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 10 [Yep! The media was such a sucker for TO.]

Total: 20

Brian Scalabrine’s Awesome Plan to Rewrite History

The Line: "In 20 years I’ll tell my kids I probably started, and in 30 years I’ll probably tell them I got the MVP."

In 2008, the Celtics defeated the Lakers in the NBA Finals and Brian “White Mamba” Scalabrine didn’t see the court once. When asked about his contributions (or lack thereof) by a reporter after the win, Scalabrine absolutely nails the answer, proving once again why he’ll always be the public’s MVP. 

Anger: 2 [Mild irritation, perhaps, but he keeps it cool.]
Craziness: 0 [Crazy amazing, but that’s a different thing.]
Humor: 10 [Hilarious and relatable.] 
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 10 [Yeah, how hard he rules.]

Total: 22

David Bennett Doesn't Want Cats Playing Football

The Line: "Be a dog! We don’t need no meows, we don’t need no cats. We need more dogs."

In September 2011, David Bennett, then coaching at Coastal Carolina, gave a rambling and decidedly anti-cat speech during his weekly press conference. It was a folksy yarn he spun for those lucky enough to witness it live, pulled from his own true life events. Bennett’s yammering quickly went viral, which clearly wasn’t given much consideration by the university when they fired him that December.

Anger: 2 [He seems a little frustrated, maybe, but not angry.]
Craziness: 10 [If it wouldn’t throw off everything else, this would be a 20.]
Humor: 10 [He was definitely going for humorous, although it read more unhinged.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 2 [His wife is good at basketball?]

Total: 24

Rex Ryan Reaffirms His First Amendment Right to Free Speech

The Line: "I can say anything I want, that’s the beauty of this country!"

In August 2013, Jets coach Rex Ryan was getting grilled by the media over his decision to pull rookie quarterback Geno Smith and replace him with Mark Sanchez, the assumed starter for the regular season, in a meaningless preseason game. Sanchez suffered a season-ending injury on the field and Ryan suffered a meltdown in the postgame press conference. 

Anger: 8 [He’s obviously angry, but too exhausted to maintain the rage.]
Craziness: 8 [People who yell about the Constitution tend to be, at least in the moment.]
Humor: 7 [Comedy of the unintentional variety.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 2 [Not really, he tries though.]

Total: 25

Jim Mora Doesn't Want You Talkin' About the Playoffs

The Line: "Playoffs? Don’t talk about—playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs?!"

Back in November 2001, Jim Mora, then-coach of the Indianapolis Colts, gave one of the most memorably indignant postgame press conferences of all time. After an embarrassing 40-21 loss to the 49ers, Mora was asked if his team had what it takes to run the table and make the playoffs. His exacerbated (and oddly high-pitched, upping his crazy score slightly) response, which has (unfairly) come to define his entire career, remains one of his biggest regrets. 

Anger: 9 [He doesn’t scream or swear, but the anger is palpable.]
Craziness: 2 [Nothing too off-the-charts nuts here.]
Humor: 10 [All in the delivery and all accidental.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 5 [His not looking ahead idea was lost in the comical delivery.]

Total: 26

Herm Edwards Educates Us on Why the Game Is Played

The Line: "You play to win the game."

In October 2002, Herm Edwards, then-coach of the 2-5 Jets, showed up for his weekly press conference with the New York media, completely unaware that he would answer a (likely) stupid question with a phrase that his entire post-NFL career would be built upon. Or maybe he did? At least one reporter in the room has wondered just how spontaneous the whole thing was. Either way, Edwards has never run from the rant, opting instead to embrace and profit from it. 

Anger: 6 [Clearly exasperated, but no outright rage.]
Craziness: 7 [That’s just Edwards’ baseline of crazy.]
Humor: 4 [It’s pretty funny, but unintentionally.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 10 [Yep. And he made it well.]

Total: 27

Dennis Green Has Always Been Right About the Bears

The Line: "They are who we thought they were!"

In October 2006 Dennis Green, then head coach of the Cardinals, unleashed a tirade so legendary that last month various media outlets actually published pieces on its eight-year anniversary—not usually considered a big one. It happened following an embarrassing loss to the Bears on Monday Night Football, in which the Cardinals managed to lose despite forcing six turnovers and having a 20-point lead in the third quarter. 

Anger: 10 [Outright rage, yelling, storming off.]
Craziness: 8 [Mostly it’s just crazy how angry he was.]
Humor: 2 [Too angry to be funny, mostly just awkward.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 10 [Yep. The Bears were/are crappy.]

Total: 30

Les Miles Pretty Much Nails Columbus Day

The Line: [On Columbus Day] "This is not St. Patty’s Day, that’s a different day entirely."

We can always count on LSU coach Les Miles to deliver with a camera in his face. He certainly didn’t disappoint in October 2013 with a completely unnecessary—yet absolutely appreciated—synopsis of Columbus Day. Miles brilliantly captures the spirit of the holiday, proving once and for all that we probably ought to replace it with something actually worth celebrating. 

Anger: 0
Craziness: 10
Humor: 10
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 10 

Total: 30

Mike Gundy Is a Man, Folks; He's 40

The Line: "I’m a man! I’m 40!" [Secondary line: "This is why I don’t read the newspaper! Because it’s garbage!"]

Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy’s epic rant back in 2007 was sparked by some not particularly noteworthy or egregious criticism of former Cowboys quarterback Bobby Reid, who told ESPN a year later the rant “basically ended [his] life.” The scene Gundy created was off the charts angry and crazy, but lacked a little in intentional humor—it was still pretty funny though. 

Anger: 10 [This is the very definition of a "red-faced rant."]
Craziness: 10 [What he says is crazy and why he’s saying it is crazy.]
Humor: 10 [All in the delivery and all accidental.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 3 [The only real point Gundy made was about his age/gender.]

Total: 33

Mike Ditka Is Displeased

The Line: "Ahhh shut up!"

Never known for mincing words during his coaching career, there are countless examples of Mike Ditka engaging in less than pleasant ways with members of the media. Honestly, it was hard to pick just one—so I didn’t. This compilation is a perfect sampling of Ditka’s many shades of hostility—the individual moments are like snowflakes...really mean snowflakes. 

Anger: 10 
Craziness: 10
Humor: 10
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 5 [Sometimes]

Total: 35

John Chaney Goes Nuts in the Direction of John Calipari

The Line: "I’ll kill you!"

In February 1994, John Chaney, then the coach of Temple basketball, stopped by the press conference of John Calipari, then coaching at Massachusetts, to have words after a loss. Chaney was apparently upset not about the loss, but the way Calipari “handled officials,” and he wanted to throw down. Bystanders quickly stepped in to prevent any punches from being thrown after Chaney charged the podium, but that didn’t stop him from issuing a death threat. 

Anger: 10 [Death threat, ’nuff said.]
Craziness: 10 [Death threat, ’nuff said.]
Humor: 10 [There’s nothing funny about an empty death threat against anyone except John Calipari.]
Messaging (Does this dude even have a point?): 10 [Death threat, ’nuff said.]

Total: 40