With Marc Anthony As An Owner, The Fish Won't Win It Again Until 2073

Latin pop singer Marc Anthony officially became a minority owner of the Miami Dolphins last week.

New Dolphins owner Stephen M. Ross decided to add Anthony, 40-years-old, as an investor after he received a call from a lawyer who suggested he meet with Jennifer Lopez’s husband.

The best-selling Salsa singer of all-time called investing in the teal and pink clad franchise that hasn’t won a championship since 1973, is “a dream come true, a no-brainer.”

“What was interesting was you couldn’t help but be a Miami fan, it’s almost like America’s team, claimed Anthony in a baffling and ridiculous statement. “Being born and raised here in New York, East Harlem, you’d think Jets or Giants, but you were always aware of the Miami Dolphins and what (Dan) Marino was doing.”

In reality, it has been difficult to be “aware” of The Fish at all for quite some time now.

Miami has qualified for the playoffs only twice this decade and they have not appeared in the Super Bowl since 1984.

The curiously colored organization rebounded nicely last year, following a disgraceful 1-15 season in 2007, when they surprisingly captured the AFC East crown.

Bill Parcells, a two-time Super Bowl winning coach was named Executive Vice President of the Dolphins football operations after the 2007 debacle. He has done a tremendous job in helping restore credibility to Miami’s once rudderless organization.

Nevertheless, the addition of Skeletor Anthony, in any capacity whatsoever, can only be considered a setback for fans of The Fins.

“Just listening to Marc, his enthusiasm…he really has great ideas,” Ross said.

Anthony is scheduled to perform the national anthem at the Dolphins' October 12^th Monday night game versus the New York Jets, at Land Mark Stadium.

J-Lo’s whipping boy said some aspects of his ownership will be difficult because he, “still has to talk with (his) father-in-law, who is a huge Jets fan.”

The Latin icon once wrote and sang a song titled, “I Need To Know.”

In the homoerotic melody, Anthony sings, “They say around the way, you’ve asked for me. There’s even talk about you wanting me.”

Ross wanted Anthony on his team. Apparently, “they say around the way,” the new owner of the Fish must not want to win.

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