Mike says no to Mike

Mike Brown has told Geoff Hobson of Bengals.com that Mike Vick will not be a Cincinnati Bengal.

Whew. That's a weight off the chest. I thought I was going to have to get a customized No. 7 jersey with "Ron Mexico" on the back.

The funny thing about this announcement is it shows how little Mike Brown actually pays attention to the goings-on around the league or the personnel situations on the other 31 teams.

"Quarterbacks are like queen bees," Brown said. "Carson is the guy."

That statement implies that Mike Brown thinks Michael Vick is a starting-caliber quarterback while everyone else who works in, covers or follows football realizes that Vick would come back in a reserve role. He's been out of the game for two years and the head honcho for the Bengals thinks Vick can come in and create a quarterback controversy with the face of the Bengals franchise.

Then again, maybe Mike Brown has been so flummoxed about having to fork over $225,000 to 129 fans in the season ticket cancellation lawsuit that he hasn't had time to reflect upon the other teams standing in the way of his second playoff appearance since snagging control of the team.

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It's a little late for me to throw my opinion of the Michael Vick situation into the hat—but I'm going to do it anyway. Any team that decides to sign him is embracing an individual that carries so much baggage that the entire team will be weighed down.

And I'm not talking about the type of baggage that is a device for hiding marijuana.

I'm talking about the type of baggage that is constant national media attention on an ex-convict playing the most important position in football on your team. I'm talking about PETA and Ed Werder. I'm talking about belligerent fans and suspicious teammates. You think T.O. has a divisive effect on a team? Michael Vick has something to say about that choir boy.

Michael Vick doesn't just have a bad record. His family has a bad record. When the brother is just as big of a douche bag as Michael is then you know there is something fundamentally wrong with the way the Vick kids were brought up.

There are those who can escape their troubled childhood to become outstanding people—and there are those who can't.

It's my belief that Vick will always gravitate toward bad decisions even with Tony Dungy, Patron Saint of the NFL, mentoring him. Who is the last thirty-year-old you know that needed a mentor anyway?